


Shackled

by ILoveTeamFortressToo



Series: Blood Bond [2]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Blood, Heavy is a bit concerned, Hurt/Comfort, Injections, M/M, Medic has a great time, Needles, Recovery, Sniper has a bad time, Spy is very concerned, Torture, Truama, body horror?, but it takes quite some time to get to the comfort bit, very questionable medical procedures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-05-17 00:57:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14822189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILoveTeamFortressToo/pseuds/ILoveTeamFortressToo
Summary: "Then it hit him. Dread. Pure dread. He'd always known this day would come. Now it finally had and he wasn't prepared in the slightest."In which Sniper's worst fears become reality, Spy has a mystery to solve, Medic has highly unethical experiments to run, and Heavy has to ask himself: Who is the real monster here?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again.  
> If you're not comfortable with some of the tagged content, see you again at chapter 11!  
> Also, if there's any important tags I missed, please tell me!

  
  


Sniper woke with a sense of unease prickling at the back of his mind. The first thing he noticed was how much his head hurt. It wasn't like waking up from a hangover or getting a migraine or falling ill or cutting your skull open kind of hurt, it was somehow all of them combined. There was dizziness and a nauseous feeling in his stomach too, like he'd just stepped off the world's most unpleasant fairground ride. There was a weird taste in his mouth as well, something like latex or plastic.

Sniper grimaced, staying absolutely still while he waited for the pain to pass. It faded slightly after a couple of minutes. Sniper risked blinking his eyes open, trying to work out what could have caused this god-awful headache.

Something bad. Had to be. He was in the infirmary. Sniper groaned and went to put a hand to his aching head. It didn't move. He grunted in annoyance, a slight trickle of fear winding its way up his spine. His whole body felt sluggish and heavy as though he was being weighed down by an invisible mass. Why couldn't he move? What had happened to him? Just how badly hurt was he?

Sniper tried again and this time a tugging sensation registered too. 'Huh?'

He forced himself to tip his head to one side, the infirmary spinning around him as he did so. Sniper blinked away the after-images and frowned at the thick leather strap over his arm. Odd. Very odd. He thought he should be panicking now but the emotion was too far away, too distant.

'Medic?' he called, the title coming out hoarse and quiet, like a small child who's only just looked up in the middle of a crowded street to find their parents are nowhere in sight.

The face that appeared over him was not the face of his own RED Medic, but that of the grinning BLU doctor. 

Sniper stared in horror.

Medic pressed his fingers to Sniper’s pulse, counting silently. He had been doing a bit of experimentation while Sniper was unconscious and had figured out where the fangs lay under the vampire’s gums. He was still trying to figure out how to force them to come out. Heavy hadn’t required him to display the fangs, his teammate had simply taken his word for it that the RED Sniper was a monster. It had been unexpectedly easy, but Medic didn’t care to question it, not when he had more interesting things to think about.

“The subject is awake, 2:49am, Saturday the 9th. It appears drowsy and groggy, just like a human might,” Medic remarked to his tape recorder, before thumbing open Sniper’s eyelid. “Not as pale as I expected, unlike the Spy. I suppose it has adequate blood."

Sniper should have been screaming and shouting and swearing. He should have been thrashing and fighting and baring his teeth and threatening to kill the Medic if he didn't let him go at once.

Instead, all Sniper said was, 'Oh.'

Then it hit him. Dread. Pure dread. He'd always known this day would come. Now it finally had and he wasn't prepared in the slightest.

Medic strapped Sniper down by the forehead, tightening the strap around its neck. He didn’t want the vampire moving at all when he tried to get those fangs to pop out from its gums. 

'Oh God,' Sniper muttered as his head was strapped down. 'Oh God.'

Most people would be arguing and trying to tell their captive to let them go by but Sniper knew there was simply no point. Not with this man. Not with the monster he himself was. It was going to happen one day. Today was that day.

As soon as the vampire was tightly bound, Medic’s gloved fingers lifted its top lip and began probing around. It didn’t take him long to find the spot the fangs came down from. He pressed around it, then above, trying to force the fang out.

“The fangs seem quite small, and are fully retractable.”

Sniper glared at the Medic when he pulled up his lip, prodding with cold, gloved hands at his gums and jaw. He recognised where the odd taste in his mouth must have come from now.

It was an incredibly unpleasant sensation, having his fangs forced out through pressure rather than stimuli. Sniper gave a muffled cry of pain and made a futile attempt to pull away, blood beading from his gums as soon as his fangs burst through.

“It seems to cause pain to force the fangs through. They are very thin, like needles,” Medic noted, ignoring Sniper’s cries. “They seem to be hollow, and I am guessing this is how it injects venom. I’m sure there must be a gland of some kind, as well as a duct through which the venom runs. In snakes this gland would be behind the eye, but the anatomy here is quite different. I will have to open it up to find what differences there are between it and humans. Interesting. Assuming it was once a human, all these differences must have happened during the change from human to vampire. How fascinating.” He opened Sniper’s eye and flashed a light in it. “Pupils react normally.”

Medic was so excited about this that he was all over the place, his mind skipping from one possibility to the next.

Medic wasn't right about what caused his fangs to come through but Sniper wasn't in any position to argue and tell him the truth. He was right about glands and ducts though.

Then he reached the part about cutting him open. Sniper blood ran cold. He should have been able to guess. He should have known. All the same, 'Christ! Don't! Don't do that!'

He squinted blearily as a light was shone in his eyes without warning.

'Don't cut me open. You don't need to cut me open. You can just ask me!'

Ignoring Sniper’s pleas, Medic took up his scalpel, pulled his overhead light over the vampire’s face and with a quick and clean slice, cut from under his eye down to his lip. He made another slice at the top and bottom of the cut and peeled back the skin. Sniper bled freely, but Medic did nothing to stem the flow of blood. He had a medipack nearby so the vampire wouldn’t take enough damage to go through respawn. He didn’t want to lose his new project.

“I can see the ducts,” he said excitedly. “Though not the gland yet. I can follow the ducts back to the gland. I would love to have samples of the venom.”

 

There was so little warning. So little time to prepare himself. The scalpel slid through his skin, blood gushing in its wake. Sniper's eyes were wide, staring in horror at the ceiling behind the looming Medic.

The pain barely registered, shock and adrenaline keeping it away. The horror though, that slammed straight into him.

His skin...the Medic...he'd. Oh God. Oh God.

Sniper's arms and legs tensed against their bonds as he tried to pull himself free while keeping his face completely still. He didn't even dare open his mouth for fear of doing further damage. He tried to concentrate on his breathing, the only thing he could control here. Sniper's chest rising and falling in shuddering gasps despite his best efforts.

Behind his lips, Sniper's bottom fangs burst through in response to the assault, top fangs starting to drip venom that mixed with the blood that ran into the corner of his mouth.

“Oh! There appears to be another set of fangs in the bottom jaw,” Medic remarked, “and the fangs are dripping venom now, I’ll take a sample.” He took a vial and pressed it up against the fang, letting the venom and blood leak in before sealing it and setting it aside. His gloved hand parted Sniper’s skin and found the venom gland. “Ah, the gland is just behind the salivary gland. It makes sense, venom is a form of saliva, I believe.”

Sniper could do nothing to resist as the Medic pulled back his lips again. And there was nothing he could do to stop his venom oozing out into the vial. He hated giving the Medic he wanted, but at least it was better than him digging around any further.

The thought came too soon. Of course the Medic wasn't going to stop there.

Medic took out the gland very carefully cutting it free, and put it in a small metal container. “I will have to run some tests on the venom, see if that was what I found in the Spy’s system.”

He turned his back to Sniper for a moment, then put some medigel on the slice on its face. He had to take care of this monster if he was going to keep running his experiments.

Sniper let out a muffled cry like a wounded animal as the venom gland was cut out of his flesh.

He barely registered the Medic pressing his skin back together and applying the medigel, too caught up in sudden worry for his Spy. What had Medic been doing to him? And what had he found?

Sniper had no idea if his venom gland was even going to grow back. Between his own healing capabilities and the medigel he hoped so, but going back through respawn would be the only way to guarantee it. Sniper hoped that would happen soon.

 

Medic took a few notes, opening a few books and taking a break from torturing the vampire strapped to his table. He didn’t want to do too much now. Though they were deep in the medical wing and it was unlikely anyone would hear anything or bother to come looking, it might raise suspicions once people realized the RED Sniper was missing. Heavy was busy preparing a room for their captive, bless his enormous mega baboon heart.

Once Sniper was in that room, Medic planned to first offer him some blood to watch him feed, and then to starve him of blood. He was so curious as to how long it would take him to starve, if vampires  _ could _ starve. He should at least degrade in some way or another, Medic assumed. It would be interesting to note the changes.

 

There was nothing Sniper could do but wait to see what would happen to him next. He was no longer an active character in his own story, but a passive one, at the whim of anyone else.

And of all the people to be helpless in front of, it had to be the enemy Medic.

'There, you've got what you wanted, now let me go,' Sniper said thickly through a mouthful of his own blood and venom. He didn't hold out much hope.

Medic ignored him, as though he couldn’t hear him speak. He spoke into his recorder again. “There is a possibility that the venom effects memory loss, that the Spy is completely unaware of what has been happening. If my suspicions are correct, at this point he will be addicted to the effects of the venom and he will likely be coming to me with the symptoms of withdrawal.” He stood, holding a pair of scissors this time, and cut his way through Sniper’s shirt. He was still talking to the recorder. “If the venom does not have any effects in that way, then perhaps it subdues its prey some other manner?” He said thoughtfully, slicing through Sniper’s pants and underwear. He had already removed the man’s boots, hat and vest off earlier. “It’s skinnier than I expected, perhaps it has been difficult to find a safe time and place to feed.”

Sniper refused to say anything on the subject of Spy. He was sure his silence must sound like guilt rather than an attempt to protect his partner's involvement but it probably didn't matter; the Medic hadn't responded to a single thing he'd said. It was like he hadn't heard him at all. It made Sniper doubt himself on some level. Made him doubt his humanity in a way that was unconnected to him being a vampire. More like he was an animal yowling away that the Medic couldn't understand.

All the same, he protested the loss of his clothes, terrified of what it might mean for him next. 'Hey. Hey! Stop that! Leave me alone, you bastard, what the hell you stripping me for?'

Heavy came back in then, giving his doctor a nod and the naked and bloody-mouthed vampire a wary, suspicious look.

“Thank you, Heavy. Would you take it to the room you prepared? Do not loosen any of the straps, and please do not speak to it.”

“There is nothing to cover…him?” Heavy couldn’t quite bring himself to call Sniper an “it.”

“It’s merely an animal,” Medic assured him. “Not to mention, I will be curious to see the effects of cold on it.”

'I'm not an animal!' Sniper argued, despite his own uncertainties. He stood no chance of Medic letting him go but the Heavy...maybe the Heavy was the weak link.

Sniper had been convinced Medic had removed his clothes for further experimental surgery but apparently it was just to see how he reacted to the cold. The thought of being left alone in a cold empty room in the middle of the enemy base with nothing to cover him was not pleasant one, all the same.

Heavy nodded again, doing his best to ignore the Sniper’s protests. It was difficult for him to think of Sniper as a monster, even with the blood around his mouth, even with Medic’s assurances that he was a danger. He just looked like a skinny man. Still. He trusted Medic. He took the end of the gurney and wheeled it to the much more soundproof room at the end of the hall.

Sniper waited until Heavy had wheeled him out of the Medic's hearing before he said quietly, 'Where are you taking me?'

Heavy wished for a moment that he was as steely as Medic when it came to this situation. “A room where no one will hear you,” he said. He thought on what Medic had said before, on how much of a threat this man was, how he wasn’t a man, how Spy and Medic, and both teams were in danger from him—it.

But he still looked like a pathetic and scared man.

'Why?' Sniper said, fresh fear swamping him. What were they intending to do in that room that would require more sound-dampening that the medical bay?

He swallowed. ‘I'm not – I'm not...' A monster? A threat? He was both of those things. 'I'm really not that dangerous. If I was, I wouldn't have needed to hide.'

Talking hurt, pulling at his still-knitting flesh. He hoped that meant the venom gland was regrowing too.

"Be quiet," Heavy said as he wheeled him through the door into a dark room. There were no windows, no features on the walls at all.

Heavy left him in the middle of the room, away from everything. He turned to leave.

Sniper's bare chest rose and fell rapidly. He didn't fear the dark. He didn't fear the cold. He didn't fear being alone. But the thought of being strapped down and forced to endure all three for an unknown amount of time was horrible.

'How long?' he asked, turning his head to face the Heavy and the only remaining source of light.

"I do not know," Heavy admitted, closing the door behind him.

Sniper snapped his eyes shut, refusing to strain in the dark for a flicker of light he knew wouldn't be there. All he could hear was his own breathing and the occasional rattle of metal buckles when he tugged at his restraints.

How long was he going to be here with just his thoughts and dread for company?

Sniper's mind was flitting from one thing to another. Plans for escape. For revenge. It was getting cold. Worries about what was to come. Worries for the Spy. It was getting cold.

He'd been cold all the time before the Spy. Since then he'd felt like a normal temperature most days. This was an unpleasant return to the past.

Sniper grit his teeth, fangs still out, and strained against the cuffs with all his might. Nothing happened. He tried again. And again, growing weaker and more desperate with each attempt.

Eventually he gave up. Sniper had no idea how much time had passed here in the dark. 

And he had no idea how much more he had to go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Sniper has an even worse time.

Spy was in a good mood on his way to Sniper’s home on Friday evening. He’d decided to head over a little earlier than usual. If Sniper was away, he could wait, but if not, well… the extra time would be well spent.

He’d spent so much of his week worried about Medic breathing down his neck and his own health that he was looking forward to relaxing away from his teammates. Even if he knew he’d have to leave Sunday morning so Medic wouldn’t get suspicious. With everything that had been happening, he hadn’t had time to get anything exciting or new, but he still had a little box of caramelized hazelnuts. Spy loved eating them with coffee, and he had a feeling Sniper would like them.

When he got there, the camper was dark and silent. It was locked, but that hardly stopped Spy. He’d wait, surprise the Sniper, he thought with a grin. He sat on the edge of Sniper’s bed, stretching out his neck and shoulders.

Just over an hour passed before Spy started to worry. It was past eight o’clock. Normally they were together at this point. Where was he? Maybe he couldn’t get away from his team. Maybe something had come up and he had no way of letting Spy know.

It probably wasn’t best to spend the night here. They’d have to try again next week. Spy left the hazelnuts, tucked in by the coffee maker. Hopefully Sniper would find them there when he got back and at least know that Spy had been by.

Feeling dejected, he headed back to the BLU base.

 

Though it was early morning there was no way to tell in Sniper's cell. No light came in until Medic did, flicking on the lights before he entered.

Sniper started awake, not even aware he'd dozed off at all. He had a knack for falling asleep in uncomfortable places but he'd thought that strapped down to a solid metal surface while covered in goosebumps from the cold would be beyond even him.

He groaned as light swept over his face, revealing the BLU Medic in the doorway. What time was it? And what new horrors awaited him?

Medic brought in a rolling table of tools. The bright lights glinted down across the tools, revealing a lot of sharp and terrible things, but also medigel, and a blood bag.

Sniper swallowed, throat dry. He tried to hide his fear as his chest begin to rise and fall rapidly at the sight of those instruments and cutting tools but there probably wasn't much point; the Medic hardly seemed to pay him any attention anyway. Or at least, not the attention he'd give a fellow human being.

It was the blood bag that drew his attention most though. To his embarrassment, his stomach rumbled. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything since midday yesterday and he hadn't had any blood since he finished the last of his coffee around then too.

Medic’s recorder came out again and he made note of Sniper’s stomach rumbling. “It seems to be hungry! It didn’t take long, though perhaps it hasn’t had any blood since the last time it fed on the Spy. Why drink blood bags when you have fresh blood?”

Medic moved the tools closer to Sniper, and undid the strap around his torso. “It has goosebumps,” he remarked, touching Sniper’s arm, “so it does react to the cold, at least physically.”

He probed the Sniper’s chest and palpated his abdomen, as if trying to feel his organs. “Starting vivisection,” he said.

'No, no! You can't—you can't just cut me up! You can't.' Sniper was too horrified to keep the desperation out of his voice. The Medic had already cut into his face, wasn't that enough even for a mad doctor?

'Jus—just put me under! Or use the medigun, come on! You can't just...you can't just do this. Please.'

It was as if Sniper’s words were meaningless to the doctor. He made the Y incision over Sniper’s chest with the ease of practice, pulling him apart as though it were nothing. There was blood as the skin was sliced open, but Medic didn’t seem worried, and focused only on opening him up. His face showed only delight. “Fascinating. The organs are nothing like what one would expect from a human. All the organs are unusually sized and coloured," Medic told his recorder. "The liver is enlarged, the kidneys seem smaller, there are a few organs here that likely have never been named!" he sounded thrilled.

'No no no no!' Sniper gasped, hands twisting against his bonds, fingers flexing. 'Stop it! Medic, stop. Oh  _ God _ , stop!' he'd been killed over and over in all kinds of gruesome ways on the battlefield. He'd received just about every injury known to man and always come back out of respawn fighting. He'd even been tortured a little during humiliation rounds by bitter enemy team members.

But this. This was different. There was no promise of revenge later that day or tomorrow. There was no RED Medic or dispenser to patch him up.

Here he was utterly helpless.

Medic catalogued each of his organs, manipulating them with his gloved hands and making note of the unusual sizes and colours. 

Having someone sticking fingers into your organs...there were no words to describe how wrong it felt. It left Sniper shivering and nauseous and reeling with so much pain and distress that he was inches away from passing out.

Medic took the blood bag and offered it to Sniper, carefully, pressing the corner of it to his mouth so he could bite through the bag if he chose.

His fangs had already been out in a fruitless attempt at self defence. Sniper latched onto the blood bag before conscious thought had even caught up with the idea. His body was clamouring for blood, for some way to try and heal itself, however futile.

He hated this, taking food (or in this case, blood) from another's hand without being able to do it himself. He'd let the Spy put a wedge of orange in his mouth once and that had only barely been acceptable because he trusted the Spy.

This man, he despised.

But it didn't stop Sniper from chewing at the plastic, ripping it enough to let the blood stream down his throat.

Too much.

Too much.

Sniper choked, fangs coming free as blood went down the wrong way. He spluttered, blood spattering from his lips.

He was strapped down. Choking. He couldn't breathe.

Medic made a noise of disgust and unstrapped the Sniper’s forehead, forcefully turning his head to the side so he could breathe again. “Apparently it does need to breathe,” he watched as Sniper’s torn skin attempted to heal itself. “So interesting. It’s almost as strong as the effects of the medigun. Now that the creature has had some blood, I know when it was last fed and my data will make more sense once it starts to starve, if it can indeed starve.”

He left Sniper’s forehead unstrapped. From below the cart he’d brought in, he pulled out a portable medigun. Placing the box on the floor, he aimed it at the vampire on the table, the stream just enough to keep him from going further into shock or dying.

Sniper coughed and spluttered until his throat was raw but his lungs dry. He'd managed to consume hardly any blood at all. More than he might do in his coffee on an average day, but this wasn't an average day, all his energy was going into his body trying to repair itself.

And the Medic was planning to starve him. Of course. Because what else wouldn't he do?

Leave Sniper's organs where they were, apparently.

Sniper didn't have the willpower to hold back the whimpers that escaped him. It came as a blessing when, as Medic pulled something out with a particularly visceral noise, Sniper finally passed out.

Medic removed the vampire’s non-human organs, weighing them and setting them aside for study.

The process could have taken minutes, or hours. Medic only spoke to the recorder and never acknowledged Sniper’s pain or fear, nor his eventual passing-out. He could have been speaking a different language altogether for all Medic took heed of his words or cries.

Finally, everything neatly catalogued, Medic stapled him up rather hastily, smearing gel across the wound so it would close up enough that Sniper wouldn’t bleed out.

Medic packed up his things, taking the strange organs to his lab to run some tests. Funny, looking back at the unconscious Sniper, it really did look just like a human.

 

'Medic?' Heavy called through the locked infirmary door, a sandwich in hand. His Medic had locked himself up all day and while Heavy understood his excitement in getting to discover something new, he also knew how easy it was for the doctor to forget to look after himself when distracted.

“Oh, Heavy,” Medic sounded surprised. He’d thought it hadn’t been terribly long since he’d shut himself up to study this entirely new animal, but the day had nearly gotten away from him and he realized how hungry he was when his stomach gave a loud growl.

He stood and unlocked the door, letting his companion in. “Thank you, what would I do without you,” he chuckled, taking the sandwich back to his desk. “I did mean to come down for lunch and see how Spy was doing.”

Heavy shrugged. 'Looked out for little Spy but he only appeared for moment. Seemed fine. Should be, now monster is gone. Where is h—it?'

Heavy tried to avoid looking at whatever organs the Medic was working on. He was by no means a squeamish man, but all the same...

“Still strapped to the table,” he said absently, taking off his gloves and biting into his lunch. “I thought it might be best that way, safer.”

'Has he— it been left like that this whole time?' Heavy asked with a frown. Even if that thing was a monster, not a human, Medic should be taking better care of it. 'Have you been feeding it and giving it water?' he checked. If Medic could forget about his own needs, he could easily forget about those of someone – something else.

"I gave it some blood earlier, but I do intend to see what effects no blood will have on it." Medic stifled a yawn. He was tired from being at his desk, bent over papers and organs.

'Does it need food and water as well though?' Heavy insisted.

Few people considered Heavy a clever man, despite how much his English had come along since joining the team. Heavy didn't mind, it made it easier for him to push people a little without them realising he was doing it on purpose.

'I mean, doves must be fed. Must be watered. Must be given place to sleep and a chance to stretch their wings. Would die if you did not. You do not want the Sniper to die yet, do you?' Heavy asked innocently.

Medic frowned. "I didn't think it would require food like a person. I suppose I ought to offer it some. And would you be so good as to chain it to the wall so it can walk about? I'll get it some food and water. Just be careful. It might look and sound human, but it isn't."

Medic stood, going to get a little food and drink for his test subject.

'There are old chains in supply cupboard,' Heavy said. 'Padlock and keys too.' The old cell they'd left the Sniper-creature in had rings set into the wall already; it would be easy to attach him to it. It.

He hurried off to fetch what he needed, moving much faster than others tended to give him credit for. For such a large, strong man he was easily underestimated. It was something he'd had to learn to use to his advantage years ago.

He found what he wanted, opting for the thinnest chain he could find but testing it out first to make sure there were no weak links. He didn't want him being a little softer than the Medic to be the thing that got his Medic killed.

Heavy returned to the cell room and opened the door. A smell of old blood and sweat reached him. No ammonia though. The Sniper-creature hadn't wet itself (or worse) despite the time locked up or the torture.

As Heavy flicked the light on, Sniper turned his head to face him, blinking blearily. He had a pounding headache, hunger clawed at his belly, his back ached from the cold metal surface and he'd never been so dying for a piss in his life. All in all, Sniper was not ready for whatever they might be throwing at him next.

Medic and Heavy arrived at nearly the same time.

Heavy slowly unbound the Sniper. Luckily he— it was weak with exhaustion, pain and terror. It was easy to padlock the chain around his neck tightly enough that it couldn’t be removed. 

Blood rushed to Sniper's extremities with each loosened tie. He hadn't realised how tightly he'd been strapped down until he was unbound. Sniper groaned at the pin-and-needles sensation. Moving hurt. After being cold and stiff and trapped in one position for so long, all his muscles screamed in complaint. He couldn't even gather the strength to resist as something snaked around his throat.

For a panicked but almost hopeful minute, Sniper thought he was going to be choked to death. Then more cold metal settled around him.

Heavy attached the other end of the chain to the ring at the end of the room, picked up Sniper and set the creature down to sit against the wall.

This way Sniper could reach what remained of the sink and toilet. He’d be able to drink and relieve himself whenever he needed to.

Sniper tried to fight being picked up, muttering rasping curses under his breath as he moved, but he didn't have the strength or coordination.

Heavy set him down again. Cold floor. Cold wall. Better than the gurney but Sniper still found himself shivering.

Medic brought over a water bottle and another, far more lazily-made sandwich. “There, now I ought to get back to my research,” Medic chirped, cheerily.

Sniper hated how little he was fighting back. Hated even more how his eyes fixed on the sandwich and didn't seem to be able to move off it. 'What have you done to it?' Sniper croaked as he rubbed his forearm across his mouth, dislodging flakes of dried blood from his jaw. 'What have you put in it?'

Medic laughed, not answering him as he headed back to his lab. Heavy hesitated, waiting until Medic was gone.

“Nothing is in it. He does not want you to die.” Heavy realized that was hardly comforting, but at least Sniper could enjoy a sandwich, possibly.

Sniper eyed it for a moment before going for the water bottle instead. He twisted the lid and gulped it down, water spilling out his mouth and mixing with the dried blood across his jaw. As soon as it was empty he cast one more suspicious glance at the Heavy before grabbing the sandwich and wolfing it down, barely tasting it.

“Is good,” Heavy said, he turned off the light again, knowing Medic would want the room left as it was before. He wished he could apologize to Sniper. Instead, he left, silently, locking the door behind himself.

The darkness snapped shut around Sniper again. He sighed, wishing being a vampire came with super night vision. That would be handy right now.

Slowly, Sniper dragged himself onto his hands and knees and made his way over to roughly where he thought the toilet was. He pulled himself up the wall and edged along, swearing softly to himself over how hard it was. The chain rattled, pulling at his neck uncomfortably. He had horrible images in his head of it snapping taut just before he reached the toilet.

Sniper's leg connected with something metal. He groped blindly in the dark. The sink. Right. And next to it, the toilet. His hand came into contact with something soft. Sniper cringed away. Slowly he risked reaching his hand out again until it bumped against what had to be a roll of toilet paper. He laughed to himself then, low and quiet and desperate. Scared by toilet paper. Oh how the mighty had fallen.


	3. Chapter 3

The light was blinding once more as Medic came in to check on his test subject in the morning. He made note of the water and sandwich having disappeared and smiled to himself. Yes, Heavy had been right. He often was.

He knelt by Sniper, holding the chain tightly so Sniper couldn’t lean forwards and bite him. He took the creature’s pulse and made remarks to his recorder about how the Sniper looked. “It is cold to the touch, far colder than a person would be. It looks terribly pale, drawn. Pulse is unusually slow. It doesn’t appear to have much energy, but it did eat and drink during the night.”

Sniper cringed away. He'd barely slept again last night, too cold and miserable to manage much more than a doze. He'd tried entertaining himself through the night with fantasies of his team bursting in to rescue him, or else his Spy slipping in to set him free. In the festering dark where no one would hear him even if he screamed, those thoughts seemed more and more unlikely as time wore on.

He glared at the Medic as he yanked the collar tight and prodded at him. It frightened him to hear how bad he appeared to the Medic, especially when the Medic said it all with such vindictive interest.

'You're fucking starving me in a freezing cold room, of course I've got no energy,' Sniper spat.

Medic stood, talking to his little recorder. "I will keep a regular schedule of check ups and feeding. Perhaps a lack of blood is a part of the inability to regulate temperature."

He had seen Spy at breakfast and the man had not looked well. If his teammate wouldn't come to him for assistance, he would go check on him later.

"I must remember to check the substance I found in the Spy's blood against the creature's venom," he reminded himself. When he listened back to the recording later he'd do it. For now he still had lots of data to gather from the organs he'd removed.

Thinking of the organs, Medic probed Sniper's abdomen, where he'd removed his unusual organs. "Everything seems to be back to where it was before I opened it up."

It took all of Sniper's willpower not to punch the Medic in the face while he prodded his gloved hands into his chest and stomach. It made his skin crawl to have the Medic so close to him. He had to put up with this bit though, he knew, or the Medic would restrain him more than just a chain around his neck. He didn't want to go back to being strapped down again.

Happy with his findings, Medic left the room, shutting Sniper away in the cold and dark again.

 

Spy entered the infirmary minutes after Medic had settled down to write up his notes.  He hated to go to anyone for help but he'd been up all night with a fever. He was hot and cold and sweating. He alternated between flushed and pale. If this kept up, he'd be useless for Monday's battle.

"Medic," he greeted.

'Oh, Spy! Just the man I wanted to see,' Medic said happily, turning over the page he was writing on to hide his notes from sight. 'You look awful!' He tried but probably failed to contain his glee. This was perfect; now he's get the chance to study the effects of the venom first-hand. He couldn't help but wonder if Spy was going to turn into a vampire now too. For that reason, he decided not to mention anything about having the monster locked up in the next room, just in case it made Spy flighty. If the Spy proved to still be fully human, then he'd let him in on his big catch. If not, well, two subject were better than one.

"I have a cold or a flu," Spy said, following Medic back into the infirmary. "I was hoping the medigun would help."

'Well, that's certainly something we can have a look at. I'd like to take another blood sample at the same time if that's all right,' Medic said, trying to play the role of the good doctor.

"Why?" Spy asked, hopping up onto the examination table.

'Just to make sure it's not related to your iron deficiency problem from before,' Medic assured him.

'Apart from the flu symptoms, how have you been since then?' he asked, as he prepared a needle.

"Better. More energy, less numbness." Spy reluctantly shrugged off his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeve.

'Any irritability, insomnia, nausea, seizures, chills, excess sweating, muscle cramps or abdominal pain?' Medic asked innocently while checking for symptoms of addiction. Or potentially, of change. The creature's internal organs had been quite different from that of a human after all. Then again, maybe he was barking up the wrong tree and vampires were just born as they were. It was a pity he had no one around he could ask all the questions he had clamouring around in his head about vampires.

“A bit of insomnia and nausea. And a few cramps. And I have a fever,” Spy shrugged. That was fairly normal for a fever, wasn’t it? Or was this still just his iron deficiency? “Otherwise everything’s normal."

'Hmm. Roll up your sleeve for me, please.'

Could be a normal illness, could be something else. Sickness was rare here at the base with them being so isolated though. Usually if one of the team came down with something, the rest of them did, but the Medic himself was in fine health and no one else had made any complaints.

The Spy could maybe have picked something up in town, but as far as Medic was aware the Spy had only been missing for a few hours yesterday and wouldn't have had time to come down with anything if he'd caught it then. And if he'd caught something last weekend, Medic would have expected to be seeing symptoms before now.

So, that suggested that either the Spy was turning into a vampire or he was suffering other side effects of being attacked.

That said, Medic had never actually seen the Sniper bite the Spy. He really needed to get this new blood sample so he could compare it and the last one to the venom.

Spy indicated his already rolled up sleeve with a flat expression, rather grumpily. Medic rarely paid complete attention to anyone and it drove Spy up the wall.

Medic took the blood sample quickly, eager to get it done and shove the Spy out so he could get back to business.

Ah, he'd better turn the wall-mounted medigun on him for a minute or two, just to stop the Spy from complaining.

Spy did feel momentarily better, but the medigun did very little for his fever. Once the warm rays of the medigun were shut off, he was cold and sweating again. “There’s nothing else you can do for me?” he frowned. The needle barely felt like anything, his body was already hurting.

 _'Learn more about the beast that attacked you,_ Medic privately thought.

He rummaged around in a cupboard until he pulled out some cold and flu tablets. They'd probably help with the symptoms a little and should make the Spy think he believed his story. Medic didn't blame him for lying though. If he hadn't seen those teeth for himself he wouldn't have believed any stories about monster Snipers.

Spy nodded, taking the tablets and leaving to head to his bed. It had been calling to him since he’d left it. He was privately glad that Sniper hadn’t been there this weekend. He was feeling so awful, he might have given whatever it was he had to the other man.

 

 _Fascinating, just fascinating._ So they were the same compounds. Distinct traces of the venom could be found in the older blood sample, but just a touch of it in the new.

Something seemed a bit odd about the Spy's blood. His red blood count was perfectly fine despite his previous symptoms. In fact, higher than average. It wasn't just that, other ratios and balances were a bit strange. To begin with Medic excitedly thought this must prove his theory about the Spy starting to turn into a vampire. However, the more he compared the Spy and Sniper's blood, the less similar it appeared. The effect was certainly less noticeable in the newer blood sample, though still present to some degree.

Medic wondered what that could mean.

 

Spy spent most of the afternoon dozing fitfully, waking a few times to find himself soaked in sweat and grinding his teeth.

Part of him dearly wished Sniper was here to give him some sympathy, while the rest of him was glad the man wasn't here to see how pathetic he was, curled up and shaking with cold under his blankets.

Medic came to bother him late in the afternoon, to make sure he tried to eat. Spy felt too nauseous to eat and was unnerved to have Medic referring to his inner checklist of symptoms.

Medic was excited to see Spy in such a state. He didn't seem to be turning into a vampire, at least, but he did seem to be in withdrawal. He needed another blood sample from Sniper, to see if his blood had changed at all with starvation.

Leaving the miserable Spy in his nest of blankets, he headed back up to the medical wing and called for Heavy to come with him. He entered Sniper's room and began his usual checks; pulse, temperature, colour, etc. He took a needle from the cart and pulled Sniper's arm taut to find his vein.

Sniper remained tense the entire time Medic ran his basic tests.  He hated this. He hated this hated this hated this. And the Medic too. The Heavy's presence helped persuade him to stay on his best behaviour until the Medic pulled out a needle and yanked at Sniper's arm.

Panic and alarm shot through Sniper. He'd already had his fangs out in self-defence, he'd just hidden them from sight by not speaking. Now he pulled his lips back and let out a warning growl, eyes darting from the needle to Medic and back again.

What was in that needle? What was the Medic trying to do to him? What new horror was this?

Medic laughed at the sound. “Oh hush, you’re fine,” he slid the needle into Sniper’s arm and began drawing blood.

Heavy had stepped forwards when he heard the growl, seeing for the first time how very inhuman Sniper could be. He watched closely, body held stiff and tense with worry. Medic was not being very careful with this dangerous man …creature.

 

'Stop it,' Sniper said, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he panicked.

'Stop it!'

'Stop it!'

Then he snapped.

Before he could stop himself, his flight or fight instincts kicked in.

He lunged for the Medic, burying his fangs into the Medic's shoulder through his lab coat.

Heavy grabbed his head, forcing his jaw opened as Medic struggled, letting out a pained yell. His lab coat was turning red where Sniper’s teeth had sunk in and he flushed with anger and shame. The needle was still sticking out of Sniper’s arm and Medic pulled it out forcefully, kicking Sniper in the thigh.

Heavy held Sniper still until Medic was out of range, then shoved him away. This creature was more dangerous than he’d expected. His worry for Medic only increased.

Blood ran down Sniper's jaw. He licked his lips without realising he was doing it, glaring at the Medic. 'Told you to stop,' he said without remorse. He'd needed blood and if the Medic was planning to starve him; he'd take whatever he could get. Especially if it was at the good doctor's expense.

Some part of him regretted acting like this in front of the Heavy; he seemed to be the softer of the two of them, the most likely to have mercy on Sniper. But not now he'd growled and bared his teeth like an animal and attacked Medic.

Still, staving off starvation, or pity, which was the most important to him?

Medic held his arm, teeth gritted. “Spy hasn’t turned so we know one bite musn’t be enough to turn someone into a vampire,” Medic said. “I need the medigun. I’ll get some kind of muzzle for it.” His face softened a little when he looked at Heavy. “Don’t worry, I’ll be more careful around it. Why don’t you grab the sandwich from the cart and make sure it eats?” he suggested. He squeezed Heavy’s shoulder reassuringly as he passed him, headed for his office, red seeping across the shoulder of his white coat.

Heavy nodded curtly, grabbing the sandwich and putting it a little ways from Sniper, so he’d have to reach for it.

Sniper eyed Heavy warily. Was he going to force Sniper to stretch out and make himself more vulnerable in some way? The Heavy could already probably crush his skull with one hand.

Hunger won over wariness. He reached forward and snatched the sandwich up and retreated back to the corner. He wolfed the sandwich down.

A muzzle. The Medic was going to give him a muzzle. Like a rabid dog. He wondered if he'd still be able to talk with it on.

Heavy watched the Sniper eat like a frightened animal, hunkered over like a dog that was expecting a kick. Another kick, really, Heavy supposed, seeing as Medic _had_ kicked him. At least he was eating. He left Sniper the napkin he’d put the sandwich on. They’d both agreed that plates were too dangerous to give hi—it.

Grabbing the cart and wheeling it to the door, further from Sniper, Heavy left, going to make sure Medic was alright.

 

It was hours later, though it was hard to tell in the dark cell, when Heavy came back with a small square wire cage, most likely pulled off a light in one of the workshops, and some straps. Heavy grabbed Sniper by the back of the neck and forced the cage over his mouth and nose. The straps tightened around the back of his head and something clicked into place. This could still allow Sniper to speak, drink and eat, but make it very difficult for him to bite anyone.

Sniper scrabbled and fought against the muzzle, but he'd eaten too little and the Heavy was too strong.

As soon as it was on, Sniper deflated, defeated.

'Fuck,' he muttered flatly.

He waited until the heavy left, taking all the light with him, before he started clawing at the muzzle.

Goddamn stupid thing. He could get this off. There was no way it was – Oh.

Sniper's fingers closed around a small padlock.

He gave it a tug, hopes quenched. It didn't budge.

Sniper let his hands fall to his sides. He bent his head forward, eyes closing.

The heavy weight of misery settled on Sniper's shoulders.

He was naked and cold and hungry chained to a wall and muzzled like a feral animal.

God, he was a monster. 

In the dark, it was hard to judge time passing. It could have been a minute or an hour before he started sluggishly pulling at the muzzle again, testing it from all angles.

The edges dug into his face. Sniper couldn't open his mouth fully and if he tried to eat anything, he'd have to rip it into little pieces and poke it through the gaps. Drinking would be more difficult too. He still had the water bottle in here somewhere. He'd have to fill that up and try and shove the top in.

 

Medic was back to full strength as soon as he’d gotten back to his infirmary, but his anger simmered and didn’t disappear like the pain. Damn animal. Once he’d done all the experimenting he could, he might kill it. There would be little point in keeping the thing alive.

He slept fitfully that night, dreaming of attacks, of being pulled down into a proper bite; throat torn open, the animal tearing into him hungrily.

He woke with a shudder early in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the last chapter might have had the least response of the series so far o.o. Let's see how things go this time around!

Nights passed slowly for Sniper. They always did. Inside the dark room it was impossible to track time. He couldn't judge it based on when he woke up because he slept so fitfully that half the night was spent awake.

Again and again he thought that it had to be Monday morning now, had to be. Yet time continued to crawl by unmarked. Would Medic leave him alone until after the battle? Was the battle already taking place? Was the sun even up yet? Was it evening?

Sniper didn't know.

He craved the light but dreaded what it would bring.

The click of Medic's boots in the hallway was the only warning Sniper got before the light came on and a tired looking Medic came in. 

Sniper's stomach flipped over, his heart rate increasing at the mere sight of the Medic looming over him.

He glared weakly at the doctor, hunger and hatred flickering in his eyes. The Medic looked much more rumpled and tired than normal. Good.

There was no Heavy with him. No one to protect him. But also no one for him to answer to.

It was tempting to lash out and attack, even with his mouth muzzled. But even if he did manage to kill Medic, fifteen minutes later and he'd just be back angrier than ever before.

Medic grabbed Sniper by the back of the muzzle and held him tightly, angrily. He checked his pulse again, thumbed open his eyelid. He had no recorder this time.

Without warning, Medic threw him back against the wall, viciously, kicking him in the side.

"Damn animal," he cursed.

He strode out as quick as he'd come.

As fast as it had returned, the light disappeared again with a snap. Sniper didn't bother sitting back up again. What was the point? He was going to be left here for hours yet.

Sniper's ribs and the back of his head aches but then again, so did his stomach. And what was one more kick from a man who'd dissected him alive and probably would do so again?

Alone in the dark, Sniper wondered how much more of this he could handle before he went mad.

 

Out on the battlefield, Medic felt a little better having taken out his anger on his captive. Heavy seemed especially protective today. He wondered how long it would take Sniper's team to notice he was gone.

 

The REDs had, of course, already noticed their missing member.

RED Spy had been the first to comment as they waited in resupply for the match to start. 'Bushman's slept in.' To most people, he would have sounded scornful. To those who had been around him long enough though, they knew that was just how Spy always sounded and there'd actually been a slight note of concern to his statement. Sniper was a lot of things, but he was never late for a match.

'Aint seen the fella all weekend now I come to think about it,' Engineer said, frowning.

'Maybe he's died!' Scout said. 'You know, properly!'

Medic shook his head and Engineer replied, 'Nah, would have still registered with respawn. Anyone else seen him about recently?'

A chorus of nos echoed around the room, Pyro's muffled but the meaning still clear.

'Is strange,' Heavy said. 'Very strange.'

'Scout! Go knock on the hippy's van!' Soldier demanded.

Scout left reluctantly, grumbling to himself. Five minutes later he jogged back in, shaking his head. 'Nope, no sign of him. Curtains are all up, bed's made, no one's home. Maybe he left?'

'No, if he'd legged it, he would'a taken the van with him,' Demoman argued. 'Sniper'd never leave that behind.'

They were distracted from their discussion by the Administrator's voice booming out that they had one minute until the match started.

'No time to look for him now,' Medic pointed out. 'I'm sure he'll turn up.' He sounded uncertain though.

'He'd better! Or we're one man down...' Soldier pointed out ominously.

'Huddah huddah,' Pyro agreed.

 

BLU Spy kept an eye out for Sniper in all his usual haunts, but saw nothing. It took him some time to realize he hadn't even seen any enemy headshots.

He frowned. Sniper hadn't been at home before, and he wasn't around now? Spy felt a stab of worry.

Spy started to focus on Engineer, now that Sniper wasn't about. He found it impossible again. Not only was Engineer able to predict his moves still, but Spy's heart wasn't in it. He was struggling to focus on the battle itself. He wanted to find Sniper. He wanted to know he was alright, that he was safe.

He stopped trying to fight entirely and searched every Sniper nest, every spot he could think of. Nothing.

Where was he?

 

'Sniper turned up yet?' Engineer asked the RED Spy as they bumped into each other in respawn.

'Non,' Spy said, smoking a cigarette pensively and making no moves to head back onto the field yet. A sure sign that the BLU Pyro had been the one to kill him.

'That's...odd, real odd.'

'Yes, it is concerning. Especially when it leaves us a man down.'

And Spy wouldn't have confessed to being 'concerned' if that didn't mean he wasn't damn worried.

Engineer stopped to check Sniper's respawn as he had done every time he came back to get metal or got killed.

'He hasn't been through the system at all since Friday afternoon. He's alive. Somewhere. I think.' The system could glitch sometimes. It was a damn worrying thought.

 

BLU Spy’s day was a mess. He was killed far more than usual and hardly got any kills in himself. Due to the RED team being short, BLU still managed to pull off a win. His Heavy and Medic were a force to be reckoned with today.

At least he hadn’t held back his team. He couldn’t get his worry for Sniper out of his thoughts.

It didn’t help that he still felt pretty awful. He sweat through his suit and found himself out of breath often. He just wanted to curl up in bed and feel miserable there instead of running around and getting himself killed. Maybe curl up with Sniper and be held and assured that he was safe and sound.

Where would he have gone? And why?

Maybe his clan had come to see him. Maybe his contract was up. Maybe he was gone forever- 

No. 

This wasn’t helping. A few deep, shaky breaths later, Spy pursued the Pyro again, ending up in respawn only a few moments later.

 

RED lost. Usually the team was happy to blame a loss on each other but this time the one man to blame was the one man who wasn't here to answer for it.

Theories abound. Was he permanently dead as Scout suggested? Had he ran away despite what Demoman said? Was he somehow stuck in respawn even though Engineer didn't think he could be?

Or was something afoul afoot? Eyes shifted towards where they knew the BLU base to be, muttered suggestions following.

But though no RED would put it past a BLU to do such a thing, why? Why now, after so long without an incident? And why their Sniper?

 

After battle, Spy reluctantly dragged himself to the infirmary. He shouldn’t be feeling this tired and angry. Medic had asked him if he was feeling irritable. Was that part of an iron deficiency? He still hadn’t started taking those pills, since he’d never gotten them cleared with Sniper. He’d felt a little better after improving his diet… had that just not been enough?

He knocked on the infirmary door.

'Oh, Spy, back again so soon!' Yet again, Medic failed to keep the enthusiasm out of his voice. He wanted to find out if those strange aspects in the Spy's blood had faded anymore. If his theories were correct, whatever influence the Sniper's venom had had on him was reversing, or at least, fading. It was almost as if, as time went by, he was becoming more human again, rather than becoming more vampire.

“Yes,” he said, bitterly. “I don’t think you’ve been entirely forthcoming with me. It this part of my iron deficiency? Am I sick? What’s going on?” Spy demanded.

'Forthcoming with you?' Medic laughed. 'Oh no, doctors just don't skip straight to saying, 'You have bowel cancer,' when you might just have trapped wind. I've simply been looking into the matter and withholding possibly inaccurate diagnosis. As far as I can see though, this does all seem to be the same issue at its root. I'll need another blood sample though to help me run some further tests.'

“Fine. Though if my problem has to do with my blood, isn’t removing more if it just going to make it worse?” Spy griped, sitting on the cold exam table once more. He was shivering.

Medic laughed again. 'Well now you say that, just think how much worse it would be if you were in Medieval Europe! They used to think the cure for most ails was to use some nice blood-sucking leeches to help you get rid of some of that nasty, entirely unimportant blood in your body!'

With that, he stuck a needle in Spy's arm.

Spy made a face. Though really, he thought, he had his very own blood sucker that he was pretty fond of.

When he'd got what he wanted from the Spy, Medic had to find a way of getting rid of him quickly. He'd been planning on running some tests on the Sniper and it was only sheer luck that he'd still been here when the Spy walked in.

'Right, let's give you a quick blast of the medigun, shall we? You have been taking your iron tablets, yes?'

“Of course,” Spy lied easily. Once the doctor turned on the medigun he felt his body relax. He hadn’t realized how tensely he’d been holding himself. He really just wanted to go to bed… but he needed to find out what had happened to Sniper. The best way to do that was to go to the enemy base and have a look around. He might be in the infirmary there, or if not, Spy might hear something about what had happened.

 

Once Spy had left, Medic started heading to Sniper’s room. Before he made it out of the infirmary, a vial caught his eye. Yes, that had been one of his thoughts during battle. He often found battle good for stimulating thought, now that it was far more like a routine and there was less terror. He picked up the vial and a syringe, then headed down the hall to Sniper.

 

Boredom and fear made for a miserable, draining combination. Sniper could never truly relax for a moment, always waiting for footsteps to approach and that door to swing open.

But alone in the dark, there was nothing to do. Nothing to do but think. And Sniper's thoughts were not pretty. He gave up on the fantasy of anyone bursting in to save him when he realised it must be hours into the first battle without him and no one had come looking for him.

They must know he was missing now, surely? They just didn't care. Not even his Spy, it seemed.

Sniper tried to keep clean as best he could with just a sink and cold water. It was one of the few things he could do here. And one of the few ways of making himself feel human he had left. 

Sniper tried to sleep the match away but his day was as fitful as his nights, the room too cold, the floor too hard, his dread too deep.

When the door finally opened it, Sniper registered it with relief almost as much as fear. At least something was going to happen now, even if it was sure to hurt. At least there was light, even if it brought with it the sight of the Medic holding a syringe. Sniper cringed away, back pressed in hard against the rough concrete wall behind him as he tried to make himself as small a target as possible.

 

Medic looked over the naked, muzzled animal on the floor. It was looking pale and exhausted, worn down. Medic couldn’t help but smile. This was so exciting!

He drew the epinephrine out of the vial he’d brought and filled the syringe. This dose would almost kill a human, but it would make their heart rate spike and blood pressure soar, but what would it do to a vampire? He had a theory that it would make it more wild, since it seemed it didn’t need it heart to beat quite the same way as a human did.

He grabbed Sniper by the ankles, pulling him out so he couldn’t reach Medic at the end of his chain. He pushed the needle into his thigh and injected him. The effects were sure to be immediate.

Sniper struggled weakly, thrown by the Medic's tactics. He'd been expecting him to go for his arms. When had the Medic become so strong though?

And what the fuck was in that syringe?

Sniper's heart had already been pounding in fear. Now his heartbeat increased and increased, thumping in his chest so quickly it physically hurt. Sniper twisted on the ground, back arching and convulsing. His fangs burst through his mouth, an intense headache hitting him immediately, along with pain throughout his jaw.

He let out a cry of distress that came out more like a beast's yowl of pain. His limbs twitching involuntarily, hands twisting into claws. His nails dug into his palms so hard they started to bleed but he couldn't stop it. It was as if someone had robbed him of all conscious thought processes, leaving him a shuddering, terrified animal on the concrete floor.

Medic had pulled out his recorder again. Sniper was in so much pain he didn’t hear most of his words. He only caught snatches of it through agony so intense it made him deaf to all sound. “Epinephrine… mild seizure… fangs… fingernails seem to have…”

Sniper tried to concentrate on each shuddering breath. He'd bitten himself, blood oozing from his bottom lip unchecked. His brain fired off flight or fight instincts but he didn't have the mental capacity to pull together either.

There were tears running down the side of his face. Shameful. Shameful. But he wasn't in any state to care.

Sniper just wanted it to end. He just wanted to die.

Medic took a few more notes, then a blood sample, while Sniper shuddered on the floor, bleeding and crying. The doctor showed no pity, no regard for Sniper’s pain. He checked the muzzle for any damage and, finding none, sat down to watch Sniper’s writhing for awhile. Soon the room was filled only with whimpers of pain and the scratch of a pen.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Sniper's heartbeat began to return to normal. He kept his eyes screwed up tight, braced against the pain until just tremors of it remained. His head still hurt though. And now he was able to feel how much his mouth and hands hurt too.

Everything felt aching and tight. Sniper reached up a shaking arm and wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand.

It hurt to uncurl his fist. Not just from the aching muscles but from the gouges he'd cut into the meat of his palms.

How though? Surely his nails weren't that sharp? Sniper blinked, too exhausted to try and work it out. He let his arm fall back onto the ground where he lay, still panting for breath.

Distantly, he knew the Medic was nearby but he couldn't bring himself to care.

“Oh, fascinating,” Medic’s voice again. He came over to Sniper, kneeling next to him and taking one of his hands. “As I had hoped, the epinephrine helped to revert it back to its real, less-human form. Its fingernails were temporarily claws, as is obvious by the marks left in its hands. Unfortunately, the repeated doses would likely kill it. Still, a success! If that can cause it to grow claws, I wonder what another dose in a week’s time would do, after it has been broken down a little more?”

Sniper shook his head, eyes half closed and unfocused.

No.

No no no.

Not claws.

Couldn't be claws.

He wasn't one of them.

He wasn't feral.

'S no' real form,' Sniper slurred from behind the muzzle, voice cracking. It was the first thing he'd said all day. Something about the muzzle left him feeling like a dumb animal that should be seen but not heard.

Medic absently patted Sniper’s head, standing. He gathered his notes and samples and left Sniper alone in the dark again.

Sniper poked carefully at the little wounds on his hands. Claws, Medic had said. Claws. Sniper bent his head in defeat. Claws. If Medic thought he had a monster on his hands now, just he wait...

Sniper knew he should care more. He'd fought against this for ten years. Ten years.

The Medic had no idea what danger he was in.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which BLU Spy goes in search of answers and snipers.

Spy, sick as he was, took quite some time to get to the enemy base. He’d hoped to get there when everyone was at dinner. If it was the same in both bases, that would be around seven. He arrived later than he’d hoped, and everyone was moving around the base willy nilly. He had no idea what anyone’s schedule’s were, where they spent the most of their time… he was so unprepared for this.

Thank God for his cloak. At least he could stay still and not be noticed, for the most part. He just had to avoid their Engineer, just to be safe.

Their locks were easy to get open with simple lock picks. He sneaked his way through to their infirmary, intent on making sure Sniper wasn’t there first.

Nothing. Just their Medic, reading something.

Fuck.

Well, now for the more complicated part, he thought, avoiding Scout as he dashed down the hallway at top speed towards the rec room. Spy started to follow him. Now he had to listen in and see what everyone else was saying about Sniper. Hopefully he came up in conversation, because Spy didn’t have any better ideas.

 

'So then I said, I said— 'wow girl, you sure look bangin' in that short skirt. Bet you'd look even better short of the skirt, getting banged by me!' And then she slapped me. I don't know where I went wrong,' Scout said.

Soldier scratched his chin thoughtfully. 'I know where you went wrong, kid!'

'Yeah?' Scout said hopefully. 'I think it was just the chick, you know?'

'Maybe she was just a les-bean,' Soldier agreed sagely. He nodded, making his oversized helmet wobble on his head. 'But where you went wrong was not engaging her in an arm wrestling match! You've got to show these lady-types who's boss the good old fashioned way—with arm wrestling!'

'Huh, didn't think of that,’ Scout said, looking thoughtful.

Pretty typical, sounded a lot like the BLU base, honestly. Scouts and Soldiers weren’t exactly known for their great conversations. Spy tucked himself away in the corner of the room, intent on listening while staying quiet and still. He was sweating through his mask and he was sure he looked like shit. He certainly felt like it.

_ Talk about Sniper _ , he pleaded internally.  _ Please. _

Heavy came into the room. He sniffed, sure he could smell cigarette smoke even though Spy wasn't around. Soldier sometimes smoked cigars but they didn't smell like this. It unsettled him.

'I do not like this,' Heavy said. 'This sitting around.'

'Opposed to what?' Scout asked. 'What do you expect us to do? Storm the BLU base?'

'Da. If needs be.'

'I like how this man thinks!' Soldier cried, leaping to his feet at once.

'We gotta wait until Spy's finished his meeting with the top-bitch remember?'

'Would serve you well to have respect,' Heavy warned. ''Top-bitch' is not top-bitch for no reason. She can end you.'

 

Storm BLU base? Why would they- unless they thought BLU had taken Sniper? That seemed the most logical, unless this was a usual conversation here. That would be odd though, Spy was sure that was frowned upon, attacking the enemy in off hours. Like what he had done with Sniper, he thought guiltily.

Why would their Spy be meeting with …who, Pauling? Or the Administrator? Unless something serious was going on. Like Sniper having disappeared.

The pit in Spy’s stomach only grew deeper and angrier and he swallowed down everything he was feeling. He would deal with it later. For now he needed to know more, and didn’t think he’d get his answers here.

Scout snorted derisively, but there was always a nervous edge to him when he was trying to play it cool but had lost his nerve. 'Yeah. Whatever man. You probably just like being bossed around by a lady or somethin'. You're just probably into that kind of thing.'

Heavy closed his eyes, as though praying to God for the strength to put up with this tiny idiot.

'It  _ is  _ kind of hot,' Soldier mused.

'Oh God I didn't need to know that,' Scout said.

 

Usually Engineer hummed to himself as he worked. It wasn't something he was even conscious of doing, just when he was happy, he hummed and when he was working, he was usually happy.

But what had happened to that Sniper of theirs?

The guy was a loner, not very sociable, but Engineer had always found him easy going and easy to get on with. And God knew they were all missing his expertise out on the field. Without his sharp shooting, they didn't seem to stand a chance.

But where had he gone?

Engineer frowned to himself as he worked on sanding down the lid of a pine box he was working on. Metalwork was his usual go-to but when he was worried or needed time to think, he always returned to his first love: woodwork.

 

Well, the Engineer seemed busy enough. But silent. Spy gritted his teeth, edging further into the workshop. Nothing was easy, certainly. But he needed  _ some _ information.  Perhaps he should speak to Pauling? No, that would be odd and suspicious. Why would he care that the enemy was one teammate down?

Ugh, his head was killing him. Still, he watched the Engineer for some time, just in case someone happened to come by.

He'd been there for just over five minutes when the safety catch on a gun clicked off right behind him and a voice said, 'uncloak or I'll shoot. And the shot  _ won't _ kill you.'

Staying very still, he carefully uncloaked. It was the RED Spy behind him, speaking with the sort of authority that meant he was not to be trifled with.

Engineer had spun around at the sound of the voice, heart in his throat. RED Spy. Aiming a gun. For a moment, Engineer truly thought he'd gone rogue. Thought that the RED Spy must have been the one to kidnap or murder Sniper and now he was out for more.

Then he saw the angle of the gun and the way Spy's eyes flickered to him in warning and then back to the space in front of him.

The BLU Spy uncloaked.

'Son of a bitch!' Engineer muttered. How long had the enemy Spy been there? Engineer had taken off his detection device so the snake could have backstabbed him anytime.

'There's sawdust on the floor,' RED Spy said to his counterpart. 'I could see exactly where you were standing. Amateur.'

Shit, that _ was _ quite amateur of him, wasn’t it? He still had yet to master the world around him and how it could give him away when he was cloaked. He raised his hands, showing that they were empty.

He said nothing, still. Why would he admit that RED Spy was correct, and he was acting like a damn amateur again, all because he was sick and stupid over this damn Sniper.

'Maybe we should find somewhere to lock the snake up, see how they like it when it happens to one of their own!' Engineer said.

'We still don't know if that's what happened,' Spy replied, ignoring the BLU in front of him. 'And besides, it wouldn't have the same effect. This Spy's new to his team; if he goes missing they probably won't even bother looking for him, they'll just file for a new one.'

'We still don't know? Didn't the Administrator say what happened?'

'She told me that all match footage is confidential. Promised she'd get someone to review the footage for us but I don't know when, if ever, we'll know what they find. Looks to me as though she's leaving the situation in our hands. We can do what we like about it.'

That wasn't true in the slightest. She'd said they weren't to attack the BLU base or attempt to kidnap any enemy member in retaliation. But here was the Spy, trespassing in their base… Could they really be blamed if they acted violently in response? Tempers were high after all...

Spy was loathe to speak up and focus their rage in on him, but he was in danger here either way.

“As far as I know, I’m the only member of my team who noticed your Sniper is missing. I came here to see what had happened. If you don’t know either, then I have wasted my time.” He kept his voice level and clear. He gave nothing away.

The RED Spy barked out a laugh. 'What? Were you worried about the RED Sniper?'

Engineer chuckled too. 'Just had to pop round out of the goodness of your own heart to see what was up with him, didn't yah?' Engineer picked up a heavy wrench sitting on the table. 'How about we see how long it takes to get a better excuse than that out of you?'

“It was not out of concern for anyone. I wanted to know if you were getting a new Sniper.”

Though Spy sounded calm and together, inside he knew he was unlikely to get out of this without some kind of torture. He’d known that was a possibility when he’d come here, but he really hadn’t thought he’d get caught.

Oh, for a cyanide capsule.

'You little—' Engineer took a step forward. For a short man, he could be menacing when he was angry. The wrench probably helped.

He wanted the Spy to make him angrier still though, wanted an excuse to lash out. He'd happily take a few swings more than necessary at an opponent out on the battlefield just to make sure they definitely weren't about to get up again, but he couldn't quite bring himself to swing the wrench right now. Just let that Spy say one more thing about giving up on their Sniper and just getting a new one though...

'We know he's in your base,' RED said plainly. It was a guess. A well-educated guess but a guess all the same. He wanted to see if he could get a reaction out of the BLU. A tell. A giveaway.

Spy shrugged. “It would be news to me, if he were. I assumed his contract was up or he left.” Talking about Sniper as though he was a stranger he cared nothing for was easy, Spy had always found lying easy. But it still gave him that empty void feeling in his stomach.

'Oh yes, and that's why you came all the way over here into the middle of enemy territory,' Spy said. Something about the BLU Spy's explanation didn't seem quite right to him.

The BLU had made no attempts to take out Engineer while he had the chance and even if this was some kind of kidnapping, the Spy by himself wouldn't be strong enough to haul off Engineer but as far as he could tell, no one else was here.

So it wasn't that bit that was a lie. Instead, it had to be the BLU's motivation in coming here. Spy just had no idea what his actual interest in the missing Sniper could be.

'So, we keepin' him here?' Engineer asked, an unpleasant smile on his face.

"I could be far more useful getting information about your Sniper," Spy suggested. "If he really is in the BLU base, it will be far easier for me to find him than you."

Engineer laughed out loud at that. 'And why the hell would you go looking for our Sniper for us?'

"So you don't torture me?" he suggested.

This time the RED Spy chuckled softly to himself. 'A good answer,' he said, 'though I wouldn't trust to uphold your end of the bargain. Though as I've said, there's no point in us keeping you here when your team would just file for a replacement, leaving us in the awkward position of having an extra man in our possession who we have no need of. Maybe alternative uses could be found for you...'

He didn't like the sound of that. "Alternative uses?" he asked.

Spy let a slow, unsettling smile creep across his face. Then the shot the BLU Spy through the throat. 

'What the hell?' Engineer shouted, flinching so hard his feet almost left the ground

'Well, as I said, we couldn't keep him,' Spy said matter of factly. 'Better to spook him a bit and send him on his way than torture him and leave him wanting vengeance. Interesting though, that he chose to come here...'

'Huh, spies are always up to something. No offence meant.'

'Oh, none taken.'

 

Spy awoke in respawn and nearly wept with relief. He’d been terrified to find out exactly what the RED Spy had meant.

At least he’d learned that Sniper wasn’t there, and that his team was worried about him. He’d have to check around his base now, see if any of his teammates had heard anything. But maybe… maybe after his heart had come down from his throat.

Who would he start with? Scout and Soldier seemed unlikely. They were both too loud to keep a secret. His Sniper was also unlikely, he considered himself too much of a professional and he didn’t seem to hold grudges, even if the Snipers did get into their own battles every so often. Demo also seemed unlikely, though… if it was known that Sniper was a vampire, Demo was rather obsessed with mythical creatures.

Heavy was unlikely, he was a good sort and not likely to do something like that. Medic? Well, he was an unsettling man. Kidnapping someone for their organs didn’t seem outside his repertoire. Engineer could also be to blame. Spy didn’t know him well, but he gave him goosebumps sometimes, just the way he talked. He was smart and he could be cruel, he’d seen him on the battlefield. The Pyro was an option too. Just like the RED Pyro, BLU Pyro was a mystery. Spy didn’t like mysteries.

Demo, Medic, Engineer, Pyro. Them first. He was fine, his heart had steadied a little as he’d thought. He headed through the base to visit Demo’s workshop.

 

He’d finally given up by that night. He’d even checked through his teammates that he wasn’t suspicious of. No sign of Sniper or any of Sniper’s things in anyone’s rooms, in the infirmary, in any of the storage rooms that got used, in any of the workshops… fuck!

Exhausted, Spy went to bed, too tired to bother with dinner.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Medic has something to share with Spy...

Medic came in to Sniper’s room the evening after next and flicked on the lights as usual. Sniper was curled up, shivering and dripping sweat. It looked awful, Medic thought gleefully. If it was human, it would probably be close to death. Who knew, with the vampire, if it could die of cold or starvation. It certainly died in battle, Medic remembered seeing it happen.

It was no longer healing as well, however. Every time Medic took blood, the little hole in its arm oozed and there was a vicious bruise around it, whereas before it had healed up quickly with the fresh blood in its system.

It was weak too, luckily. Easier for Medic to pull it up and release the chain, forcing it onto the examination table and strapping it down as it struggled helplessly.

_ This was hell. _ Sniper's own personal hell. He'd had two constant worries since he was first turned. One: that he'd be discovered and experimented on like he was a freak, and two: that he'd turn feral. The first had come true but was far worse than he'd ever imagined. The second seemed like it might be on the horizon, but in a way it was almost a relief. If he turned feral, at least he wouldn't be human enough anymore to understand what hell he was in.

Sniper wondered, as he fought fruitlessly to keep his right arm free, if the Medic would like getting what he'd asked for all along: a mindless monster.

Sniper hoped his feral self would rip the man limb from limb.

“It is very weak today, unable to fight me. I intend to cut it open again today to see how the organs have changed, if at all, and also to draw up diagrams of its internal organs.”

He moved the rolling cart closer and grabbed his scalpel, holding it over Sniper.

Sniper groaned in distress behind the muzzle, yanking at the ties. They held. Every last one of them held.

Sniper shook his head from side to side hard enough to hurt each time one side of his face came into contact with the cold metal. But it didn't matter, this hurt he could control. This hurt was his.

Medic sliced through his skin like it was nothing, pulling it aside and opening Sniper up. Once the vampire was open, he blasted the medigun over him, not enough to heal, but enough to keep him alive. He cracked open his ribs and began to draw diagrams and speculate on the nature of the unusual organs in his notes.

Sniper's nails dug into his palms. No blood this time. No claws. Here was another hurt he could control.

Sniper was aware of being on the edge of passing out. There was a fuzz at the edge of his vision, around the corners of his mind. But as hard as he tried to give into it, it just wouldn't take.

If only he were human. Surely no human could live through this without being drugged or dying from shock.

Just another reason to regret becoming a monster.

Medic took quite some time with him, studying and poking at him. He finally closed the flaps of skin and turned up the mediguns beam. To his surprise, Sniper didn't heal as instantaneously as he'd expected. It seemed slower and the wound didn't heal entirely. There was a long, vicious scar surrounded by a deep purple bruise.

"Fascinating, its healing seems to be breaking down."

Sniper tried to lift his head to see what Medic meant but didn't have the energy. He could barely string a thought together, his mind too tattered and frayed by everything he'd be forced to go through.

Distantly it registered with him that whatever Medic was talking about was bad. He couldn't find the ability in himself to care though. Everything felt a thousand miles away. It was like he was floating, disconnected from his body.

Sniper didn't want to have to come back down again.

"It should survive it. I will leave it to rest." He unstrapped Sniper and carried the nearly unconscious vampire back to his place on the floor, reattaching his chain.

Sniper clawed weakly at the Medic, not to attack but to try and help support himself. 

The choking chain was back, a cold brand of iron at his throat. At least it wasn't the leather straps though. At least he could move his limbs again.

He raised his head to look at the Medic with pleading eyes, though what he was asking for he wouldn't have been able to put into words.

He just wanted an end to this. A soft bed. A caring touch. Someone else to weep for what he'd become because he couldn't do it for himself.

If anyone had asked him before this how long it would take for something to break him, to reduce him down to a pitiable creature like this, he would have told them it was impossible. He certainly wouldn't have guessed it would take just a few days of starvation, darkness, torture, cold and loneliness.

Sniper had fallen a long way. But he knew how much farther he still had to go.

Medic brought over Sniper's daily sandwich, offering it to him on a napkin as per usual. He was slightly concerned Sniper would be unable to eat it by himself.

Sniper's eyes drifted to the sandwich on the floor. He blinked a few times, trying to bring his vision back into focus. It was so easy to drift. So hard to come back.

He shuffled towards it, the movement tugging at his healing chest painfully.

Sniper glanced up at Medic warily, watching him. When he made no move to attack, Sniper darted forward and snatched up the sandwich. He retreated to his corner to tear it into tiny bits and poke it through the gaps in his muzzle. When was the last time he'd eaten? Sniper couldn't keep track of the hours well enough to say.

As soon as he'd had two or three torn-up pieces, Sniper began to feel nauseous. He closed his eyes, fighting off the sensation. He hadn't expected this to happen so soon.

He tried another piece, going for the thin slice of ham inside the sandwich instead. No good, his stomach rebelled.

Sniper pushed the napkin as far away from himself as he could, knowing that hunger would drive him into eating more and making himself throw up if he kept it too close.

"It doesn't seem to want to eat," Medic remarked. "Perhaps it needs blood in order to digest other foods."

He finished taking notes and gathered his bloody supplies. He headed out, leaving Sniper with the remains of his sandwich and the cold dark.

Sniper nodded hopefully at Medic's comment, not quite able to bring himself to speak.

All the same, Medic ignored him and locked him back up in the dark.

Sniper curled up on his side as tight as he could to try and conserve heat. Not that there was any point when he was in direct contact with concrete at all times. At least if he really had been an animal he probably would have been given a tatty blanket to sleep on.

His hand brushed against his chest and he hissed in a breath. Hesitantly, Sniper explored the raised, puffy flesh from where Medic had sliced him open.

He shuddered then, but not from the cold.

 

Medic went back to his workroom, cleaning the blood off his things, whistling while he did. After this, he’d go have dinner with his team, check on the Spy and then maybe get another few samples from the vampire. It was pretty close to what would be death in a human, but what he hoped would be something else entirely for the Sniper. It couldn’t eat, at least not comfortably, though it could just be that it was being deceptive. It was difficult to tell with such a smart animal.

Now that he'd dealt with that creature for the night, Medic thought he'd better give Spy a visit. He'd been keeping an eye on him during the match and he'd looked positively dreadful. It was fascinating.

Spy had missed dinner and was half expecting Medic to show up and berate him about it. He wasn’t too surprised to find the doctor at his door when he was done sneaking about the base looking for any sign of Sniper.

'Ah, Spy, there you are! Don't mind me! I'm just popping by to check up on you. Haven't seen you around since the match ended. Is everything alright?'

Not in the mood for Medic's false cheery disposition, Spy shot him a look. "I'm fine," he nearly spat. He was finding it difficult to control his temper now that he was safe from the enemy team.

'Well,' Medic said, his chirpy attitude not faltering in the slightest, 'I think you're looking rather peaky. Could I take one more blood sample from you? I think I'm nearly to the bottom of this.'

By which he meant he was now 90% certain Spy wasn't about to turn into a monster but he just wanted to make absolutely sure before breaking the good news to him about his attacker.

Spy swallowed an angry retort. "Fine."

'Good good, follow me!' He swept back around towards his lab, coat tails fanning out behind him like the feathers of one of his doves.

He'd cleaned the tools he'd been using on Sniper, hadn't he? Yes, Medic was certain. There'd be no suspicious bloodstains still hanging around.

Spy followed him more slowly. Whatever fever he was suffering through was not done with him. He sat on the edge of the doctor's exam table and rolled up his sleeve again. This was becoming terribly familiar and if he never saw another needle again it would be too soon.

Medic took the Spy's temperature, noting the fever and how clammy his skin felt. The parasite that had been feeding on him had really done some damage. It was a damn good thing the beast was under control now, locked up where it couldn't harm anymore of his teammates.

He took another sample of blood and allowed the Spy to spend a couple of minutes under the medigun's rays.

Spy shut up instantly under the medigun. It was the best he'd felt all day. He didn't leave it until Medic finally flicked off the power. "How close are you to helping me?" he asked, rubbing his temples.

'Oh, I'm already helping you!' Medic said with self-assured confidence. 'Tomorrow evening though I should be able to share your cure with you. For now, I just need to run some final tests on your blood. I can assure you though that by the time you go to bed tomorrow, you'll feel like the whole world's a brighter place!'

Spy did not share Medic’s confidence, but he nodded anyway, suddenly too tired to argue. He stood, said a curt goodbye and headed to bed.

Medic hummed to himself as he analysed the blood test results. Yes, just as he'd hoped. There were still traces of the venom present but even fewer than the day before. At this rate the Spy should be free of them entirely in a week or so. Then he'd feel a lot better.

Medic couldn't wait to see the Spy's face when he showed him the monster.

 

Spy had nightmare after nightmare that night. At one point he woke up sitting straight up, terrified and unsure where he was. He spent the rest of the night sleeping with the light on, and his knife folded under his pillow. It didn’t stop the nightmares, but at least he knew he was safe when he woke up.

In his dreams, he snuck around the RED base and he kept finding pieces of Sniper; the RED Spy with blood on his knife and familiar, calloused fingers on the ground. RED Engineer with a tuft of brown hair on the end of his wrench, stuck there with spattered blood. Spy knew what had happened to Sniper and all he could do was watch, invisibly. It had already happened and he was powerless to do anything…

He woke up again and didn’t get back to sleep.

 

Sniper likewise, had a night plagued by awful dreams. His skin kept peeling away. He'd pull it all back into place again and again but it would never stay. Dreams bled into reality and he'd half-wake to find himself pawing at his chest. The skin there was sensitive and raw and without any light to clarify the situation, Sniper spent the night convinced even while awake that his skin must surely be coming away from his flesh.

 

Sniper knew it must finally be morning because someone opened the door. He pulled himself away from it, blinking in the bright light. The Heavy appeared in the doorway, holding another napkin with something on it. A sausage roll. Sniper's stomach audibly growled.

The Heavy stopped to look down at the slightly mauled sandwich on the floor.

'You must eat,' he insisted. Sniper shook his head mournfully.

'You cannot just starve yourself to death.' Again, Sniper shook his head, though the words,  _ why not? _ came to mind.

Heavy stepped forward. Sniper tensed, waiting for something bad to happen. Instead the Heavy knelt down and tugged at the chain around his neck. His large hands against Sniper's cold throat were the first warm things he'd come into contact with in days.

'This is leaving marks. Should talk to doctor about that,' Heavy muttered, obviously making a mental note for himself, not leaving Sniper instructions.

'If I leave you food, will you eat it?' he asked, looking Sniper in the eyes. Sniper thought that maybe if he spoke, this time the Heavy would acknowledge that he had. But for some reason he couldn't bring himself to, the words withering away to nothing on the back of his tongue.

Sniper just shook his head and turned away. Heavy sighed and stood back up, taking the sausage roll with him.

That was the last he saw of light and food and company for the next few hours.

 

Spy felt awful the next morning. He couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow his dreams were prophetic and that Sniper was dead or gone forever. He still hadn’t fully processed that and didn’t want to. If he did, he’d give up on Sniper and if it turned out there was something he could have done… well, he’d never forgive himself.

But, there was still battle to be fought and there was no getting out of that. Spy kept an eye out for Sniper, as always, but again, nothing. He worked with his own Sniper again, following that blue light and picking off people where openings were created for him. Though they worked well together, they still barely spoke and outside of battle they had a very distant relationship. Spy appreciated that, though. God, if only all his relationships could be that simple.

He avoided the RED Spy and Engineer like the plague. He couldn’t bring himself to go anywhere near them. He didn’t really think they were to blame for Sniper’s disappearance, they did seem genuinely concerned for him, but the threat of torture and his many nightmares had put him on edge.

He’d slept with his prosthetics on, stupidly, too paranoid to take them off, and now he was developing blisters. At least Medic had said that he’d have a cure tonight, and Spy would be feeling better after that. Then he could really focus on Sniper.

Medic was in his infirmary after the battle, getting a new tape for his recorder and a fresh pair of gloves. He was tired from his work, but satisfied, ready to work more on his victim. He smiled when Heavy came in. He frowned when he saw that there was a sausage roll on his desk. “Still not eating? Ah well, don’t blame yourself. I don’t think it can digest anything anymore. It needs blood in its system to act like a human.”

He patted his friend’s arm, heading back to Sniper’s room. “Spy is on his way, would you bring him in once he arrives? I have a few more experiments I want to run, but I want Spy to see the reason he’s been so ill.”

Once he arrived at Sniper’s unlit room, he drowned him in light and threw the beams of the medigun onto him, on the lowest power setting. It would keep him alive, but not quite knit him back together. The beams followed Sniper’s weak frame as Medic heaved him up, undid his collar and lay him on the gurney, strapping him down. It was getting to the point where he barely had to strap him down. He started to make notes about Sniper’s condition, taking his pulse, talking to his recorder.

Sniper barely fought back this time, his thoughts and movements sluggish. He listened without paying much attention to Medic chattering away into his recorder about fat ratios, resting heart rates and how damn cold he was to the touch now.

Sniper shivered, eyes closed in resignation. All hopes of being rescued had long since faded.

 

Heavy moved to the infirmary door to wait for Spy. He hoped Spy would be delighted to see his inhuman attacker brought to justice and not disgusted by whatever...experiment the Medic had picked for tonight. Heavy shifted uncomfortably as he thought about that. Some of the things the Medic had done seemed more like cruel, idle curiosity than real science. Like a child pulling the wings off a butterfly to see how long it would survive.

Spy arrived and scowled to see that it was only Heavy and that Medic wasn’t there. “Tell me I don’t have to wait another night,” he requested, trying to keep his sense of humour. It wasn’t Heavy’s fault.

'No. Not another night,' Heavy said gravely. He beckoned for Spy to follow him and led him to the door at the back of the infirmary, hidden behind a screen. He unlocked it and moved down a short corridor, to another door. He rapped his knuckles against it. 'Spy is here, doctor. Can we come in?'

“Of course, come in!” Medic welcomed them, opening the door.

Spy felt paranoia rise up in him like water boiling and he almost stepped back, away from the door. He’d never even known the door was there. Or of what lay beyond. It smelled like blood in there, and he could hear the medigun running. 

What was going on here?

Spy stepped into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next fic I update won't be this, but the first chapter of the sequel to Foe Yay! I'll hopefully see some of you guys there!  
> (This won't impact the upload speed for this fic, only my sanity.)


	7. Chapter 7

Spy stared. It took everything he had to keep his face from showing his warring horror and relief. Sniper. Sniper was here. Sniper was alive!

But Medic... Oh God, what was he doing? Sniper was naked, pathetically  thin, and unhealthily pale. He had a muzzle over his mouth. He looked like he was dying. There was a huge scar across his chest that Spy definitely did NOT remember.

He stumbled over Sniper’s name for a moment. “Sn—Medic, what is this?” At least he could show a bit of shock. This was shocking. Even if the man strapped to the gurney  _ wasn’t  _ his lover.

 

Sniper's head had turned towards the door before Heavy even knocked. He knew. He knew. He could sense his Spy approaching.

Sniper had thought he felt Spy nearby...yesterday, was it? It was so hard for him to tell. Sniper had assumed it was a hallucination or a dream. But this, this was real.

His Spy.

His Spy staring at him, shock written across every inch of his face.

His Spy.

Sniper became painfully aware then how he looked, strapped down and shivering, muzzled like a rabid animal. This was the man who'd seen more of his body then any other but now embarrassment at his nakedness hit Sniper like it hadn't for days.

His Spy.

His Spy.

Sniper's heart hurt.

'Oh! I think it heard you coming, Spy!' Medic said excitedly. ‘Or maybe it could smell you. It does appear to have a better sense of smell than a human would but I haven't had time look into that much yet. All in good time. All in good time.'

"What is going on?" Spy asked. Medic had found out Sniper was a vampire. But Spy shouldn't know that. He didn't suspect Spy and Sniper were collaborating.

He looked over Sniper with muted horror. This couldn't be any worse.

Sniper couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand his Spy seeing him reduced to this. He looked away.

'Well, this is your cure!' Medic said triumphantly. 'I know for certain now that your health problems will go back to now that I've removed the parasite.'

He'd expected gasps of amazement and praise, not for the Spy to stare in horror. Medic had caught the beast that plagued him. Shouldn't Spy be happy?

Heavy thought he understood though. The sight must be shocking considering the state the Sniper was in. And even if was just an animal, people tended to treat them better than this...

"This is why I've been so sick? I don't understand." Spy insisted. He could hardly force himself to look curious and vaguely confused instead of angry and close to tears. He wanted to grab his knife and slit Medic's throat, he wanted to stab him, he wanted to cut off his air with a garrotte. Fuck, he couldn't do anything! Medic would just respawn. What could he do but pretend and hope Sniper hadn't given them away. If he could even talk with that contraption on his face... fuck.

'It's alright, Spy. Whatever blackmail it's been using to keep you quiet can't hurt you anymore. It's this creature's fault you've been ill. Every time it’s bitten you, its diseases have got into your bloodstream but I've been monitoring you and a mixture of improved diet, medigun treatment and your body's own natural defences has been slowly flushing it from your system.

'The anaemia you suffered was caused by the parasite taking blood from you. The fever-like symptoms were from your body fighting off the inflection its bites caused.'

Sniper closed his eyes and shook his head. It wasn't like that. It wasn't like that at all. Vampires had symbiotic relationships with their human partners. His venom leaving the Spy's system wasn't so much a good thing, as a reversal of what would have been a positive change if it hadn't been interrupted.

“I—I see.” Medic thought he’d been blackmailed. Spy immediately slid effortlessly into that role. “Thank you. I have been feeling better… I thought once it had stopped that I’d feel better but it just seemed to get worse.” His heart ached to act so cold, but the only way to get through this with Sniper intact was to lie and somehow get the Medic removed from the respawn system so that he could kill him off for good.

He was a little uncomfortable to learn that there was some kind of infection going on, but… he was more likely to trust Sniper than he was to trust this man who had clearly cut Sniper open while he was alive, who kept him tied up in here like an animal, if the short length of chain attached to the wall was anything to go by.

'I wonder if it's some kind of self-defence mechanism of the creature. Once it starts feeding on you, it gets your body addicted to its bite so you're less likely to put up a fight in the future or seek revenge. Very useful if it wants to make continued use of the same host.'

Sniper, face still turned away from Spy, stared at the wall across in shock. A pain unlike any that Medic had inflicted on him, ripped through his chest.

The Spy—his Spy, had gone to the Medic about Sniper biting him? How much had he told the Medic? The bit about blackmail made it sound like not much at all but that would explain how Medic knew what he was. Normal people didn't just decide to start torturing people on the offhand they might be a supernatural creature, after all.

And Spy hadn't denied the blackmail. Did that mean he'd made it up and used to as an excuse to withhold sensitive information?

Why. Why had his Spy done this to him?

He'd thought – he'd thought they were  _ something. _

He'd had no idea, none at all, that Spy might think of him as a  _ parasite. _

The last little spark in Sniper's chest flickered out. He let his eyes fall shut, a broken man.

Spy was struggling to act like a victim ought to. "I'll be improving now, then?" He waited for Medic to nod, watching as the doctor picked up a scalpel. He kept his expression cold and empty, as relieved as he could manage, hiding the horror that he felt. "I'm impressed, Medic, but don't you expect retribution from his team?"

Medic shrugged. "There's been no such action yet and he's been with me amost a week now. I think if they were going to, they would have." He pressed the scalpel to the top of the Y incision that hadn't quite healed. He was glad Spy was finally coming out with the truth. "I have a few more experiments to perform before I euthanize it. So the evidence won't be here much longer."

Spy's jaw tightened as he watched the scalpel open Sniper up. He couldn't bring himself to look away. It was like watching an accident in slow motion. What could he do? What—

Euthanize. Medic was going to kill him. Permanently. But when? Tonight? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? He needed time to get Sniper out. Maybe he could kill Sniper, but what if he was already out of the respawn system? Fuck. Fuck!

None of this was showing on his face. Sniper was still looking away from him. Did he believe Spy's lies? Spy dearly hoped not.

 

It was Heavy who doubted the Spy.

He was a quiet man off of the battlefield, and easy to forget about despite his size, thanks to his poor English. Not so much now as when he first joined, but he still could fade into the background when he wasn't the centre of attention. He was also very good at reading people, far better than anyone gave him credit for. He'd had to be, when he was younger. Being big and strong only helped if you knew when to pick your fights or else you were big and strong and dead.

The Spy was clearly more horrified by what lay before him than he was trying to show, and the Sniper's response to him had been odd. Wide-eyed shock rather than anger or hatred. Then he'd turned away, brow furrowed and eyes closed. Heavy could see his jaw clenched now. Not surprising, given the fact he was currently being sliced up, but he'd been like that even before Medic started. Like it was something that had been said that had made him react that way.

Looking between them, Heavy couldn't help but wonder if neither of them wanted to see the other here.

Certainly, there was something about this that Spy didn't like. The fact that the Sniper didn't like it was a given though.

Sniper barely reacted as Medic made the first cut. His mind pulled away from the pain like it had done at some point last time. It was like floating away from himself. Not too far, he couldn't pull away entirely, but he could distance himself from the horror. Mute it just slightly.

He didn't have to survive much more of this though. His team weren't coming. His Spy had betrayed him. The Medic would put him out of his misery soon.

Sniper didn't want to die. But all the same, he needed this to end.

 

Medic pulled Sniper apart with a disgustingly familiar ease, opening his skin up and revealing his organs.

Spy turned away. He felt ill and suddenly found his words choked. "I'd rather not watch this,  _ docteur _ ," he said, as coldly as he could manage. He nodded to the Medic and the Heavy and left as quickly as he could without running.

'Oh, but—' Medic began. Too late, Spy had left. 'He's going to miss the best part,' Medic said sadly.

'Not all have strong stomach for such things,' Heavy assured Medic, patting him on the shoulder. He wasn't looking at his doctor though, he was looking at the door Spy had left through, deep in thought.

Medic nodded. Heavy was right, of course, as he usually was. He took his syringe of adrenaline and popped it into Sniper's thigh, watching its organs eagerly to see the effect and holding one of its hands flat to watch for claws.

Sniper made a strangled sound in the back of his throat as the needle went in and he was dragged back down to earth again. What was it? What was it this time? His heart started to pound in his chest, harder and harder and harder.

His legs and arms twitched, panic flooding through him as his flight or fight instincts went into overdrive. He couldn't. He couldn't escape or attack. He was trapped, thrashing, and gasping with pain.  His heart visibly pounded in his open chest, the sight utterly sickening.

Something snapped in Sniper then. Razor-sharp teeth burst through his gums and he snarled, the sound inhuman and desperate, fingers scrabbling and spasming, newly formed claws screeching against the metal.

Medic leaned over him, chattering away to his recorder. "....his pupils have constricted rather than dilated... claws are quite long, fingers are bleeding where they're growing.. pulse still remarkably slow, but much faster than it was." He touched Snipers claws, curiously.

A low, guttural growl rolled out of Sniper's throat. He watched the Medic's every move like a starving hawk. He was hungry. So hungry. The Spy had been here just moments ago but had slipped out of his grasp. The Medic would do though. He'd do just nicely.

"Interesting, it looks so predatory now. I wonder if the adrenaline would have this effect if it had just eaten?"

Medic drew a quick sketch of the eyes and the claws of Sniper's more animalistic form.

Sniper tried to snap at Medic, the muzzle and restraints holding him back. It was infuriating. He fought back against them harder than he had done since he first arrived,  uncaring of the gaping wound that was his chest. The leather restraints creaked ominously.

All the while he snarled and growled, his fury descending into that of an animal.

Heavy watched uneasily. It was as though this was an entirely different creature than the one before. Was this the beast's true form? And if so, why had it never descended into it without the Medic having to directly inject it with things?

Even Medic watched the restraints creak with some uncertainty. It was perhaps best that Spy had left, he could only imagine this beast was what he'd seen when it had fed on him. Sniper's organs pulsed and raced as he'd expected, but they didn't change dramatically as he'd hoped they might.

The claws were not receding and he wondered if this time the change was permanent

Blood started to ooze from under the mask, slow and sluggish. Sniper hadn't even realised he was biting himself but distantly he registered the double rows of thin, sharp teeth that had slid down from his gums.

Heavy spotted it and immediately worried the Sniper had hurt himself. A stupid thought. The Sniper's whole abdomen had been cut open and exposed. Of course he was hurt. Of course _ it _ was hurt.

Medic noted the blood and, using a metal tool, forced Sniper’s lip back so he could examine his mouth without taking off the mask. He couldn’t quite make out what was happening through all the blood, but it did seem like the vampire had grown new teeth.

Noting down all the changes, Medic turned to Heavy after turning off the recorder. “Heavy, you do not have to stay, I won’t be much longer. It won’t have enough energy to hurt me when I unstrap it, and if I’m worried, I will just leave it strapped here for a few more hours.” He smiled up at his friend. “You don’t have to watch, I know it doesn’t interest you like it does me.”

'Da, will leave doctor to it,' Heavy said, keen to leave and trusting Medic's judgement on this. As he left though, he glanced back at the thrashing, snapping Sniper and thought to himself that somehow he could feel this wasn't going to end well.

 

With the Heavy gone, Sniper's thrashing increased. The big dangerous human was gone. The meal remained. If only he could reach it and sink in his fangs...

Medic finished taking his notes after another fifteen minutes or so, going through Sniper’s organs, taking the vampire’s temperature, looking for usual human reactions and very carefully watching its new claws for any sign that they might disappear. Everything was starting to slow down now, and if it was going to change back it would be soon.

He stapled Sniper up hastily, not terribly concerned about the scars it would leave, letting the medigun seal it up enough to keep it alive awhile longer. He was a little concerned that the enemy Spy might try to come by and free the Sniper, or, more likely at this point, kill it. He wouldn’t keep it much longer.

…If only he had an easy way to weigh the emaciated creature, he sighed. Ah well, it wasn’t the most important part of starving it. But it would have been interesting to see how much weight it lost.

 

_ Bite it. Bite it. Rip out its throat. Drown in its blood. _

Sniper continued fighting to get at Medic even as the teeth slowly retracted and the claws turned back into nails.

By the time he'd finished closing the wound up though, Sniper's mind had returned to normal. It was like waking from a nightmare only to find himself trapped in another.

His memories from the injection onwards were fuzzy and tinted with hunger and rage.

Medic unbound Sniper after he’d stopped struggling so hard, and chained his neck again, leaving him in his cold spot on the floor. He gathered up all his things and took them back to wash and study. He was a little disappointed by Spy’s reaction still, but at least he did get a thank you.

Sniper hadn't known you could come back from being feral. Then again, he hadn't lost his mind entirely, not one hundred percent, and his limbs hadn't started to elongate. So maybe he hadn't gone full feral. He'd definitely been closer than the time before though. Sniper wondered if Medic planned on pushing it all the way.

If so, he hoped Spy would stay away. 

Sniper couldn’t stand the thought of Spy seeing him like that.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Spy spent his night fighting through nightmares and pacing sleeplessly. It was one of the worst nights he could remember. At one point he wept unashamedly, terrified for Sniper. He had to see him. He had to make sure he knew that help was coming, that he would be saved. He had to go.

It was a very bad decision, but it was something he had to do.

He slipped into the medical wing silently, heading for that odd door Heavy had shown him to. Even if he couldn’t give Sniper anything but hope… even if he could only soothe him a little...

 

Sniper huddled in his corner. The sound of approaching footsteps sent fear shooting up his spine. The Medic was coming to do more experiments. More. What else was there left to do?

But no, wait!

This wasn’t Medic This was Spy. Sniper could  _ feel _ it was his Spy.

A tiny spark of hope dared flicker to life in his chest. Maybe Spy really did care about him? Or maybe he'd come to jeer and gloat…

 

Spy’s plan was to pick the lock but when he got to the door he saw that there was a key in the lock already. Rolling his eyes, he turned it, opening the door to see nothing but darkness.

 

Usually this was the part when bright light flooded into the room, blinding Sniper. Instead, only a muted light trickled in. 

Sniper watched Spy intently in the gloom, waiting for the attack or humiliation he half-expected to come.

Spy waited for his eyes to adjust for a moment before going for the light. The light lit the room up harshly, making Sniper cringe, blinking rapidly. Spy closed the door behind himself, but hesitated to approach Sniper. He was afraid of what he might find when he did. That Sniper was beyond help. That he couldn’t forgive him for his betrayal yesterday. If he was a different man he could have told Medic Sniper was harmless, he could have fought for Sniper. He could have done something else, other than pliantly agree and soothe Medic’s ego with a thank you.

“Sniper?”

Sniper continued to just watch him, eyes flickering all over, searching for the trap. There was already a chain around his neck, he didn't need a garotte too. Then again, he would have welcomed an end to all this...

Sniper knew he should reply, knew he should say the Spy's name back in return but he didn't trust his voice. Couldn't bring himself to speak.

Spy started walking slowly towards him. This was such a bad idea. “Sniper, I—”

'Should not be in here,' Heavy said from the doorway. He stepped inside. 'It is dangerous, that creature. You most of all must have seen this, Spy.'

He came bearing another sandwich, wanting to see if he could get the vampire to eat this morning before the battle. Heavy was an early riser. He liked his sleep but could never manage many hours in a row.

“Of course. I just had to be sure he was still here,” Spy lied. “How long have you known about this?”

'About this?' Heavy said, gesturing to the Sniper. 'Since Medic first caught him. About creatures like it?... That I have suspected for many many years.' 

‘You have met a vampire before?’ Sniper asked, incredulous.

Heavy laughed then, low and bitter. It was nothing like his usual, boisterous laugh.

'No, have never met one, only seen handywork. Back when I was a child...'

“During the war?” Spy hazarded. “I’m sorry.” And he was. He could only imagine the sort of effect that would have, seeing what a vampire - _ a feral?- _ could do when you were young.

Heavy waved away Spy’s apology. Pity could not change the past.

'There was village nearby. We were not welcome there, not to live. But we could trade with them. Some people were cruel, but some were kind. One night we hear screams. Such screams. They travelled many miles, echoing through our valley.

'Next morning, we set out. Thought it was Axis attack. Found the first body, thought wolves instead. So many bodies. Same wounds. Chunks torn from their throats but no other flesh eaten. None. This was not the work of animals. Not the work of Nazis. Something else, something worse. We packed everything we could carry and left. Did not matter it was middle of winter. Did not matter we had nowhere to go, there were devils here we could not hope to fight.

‘And I see this creature on the floor and know now what those demons truly were.'

“Do you think he’s the same as that monster?” Spy asked softly. If he could find a friend here in Heavy, get someone on his side about Sniper’s humanity, that would help so much.

Heavy sniffed. 'Have seen many monsters since but never anything that have could have done that, not until this one. Medic has ran experiments, can drive this thing into revealing its true self. It is a monster.' There was a sadness to his words though, not venom. He wished this creature had never come here. He wished he'd never had to relive those childhood memories of cawing crows and desolate, red stained snow.

'Some villagers ran. One almost made it to us. It got her around the corner from my home. If she had made it a little closer...' He and his family would be dead, Heavy knew. All the same...

“Medic can make him lose his mind by torturing him, it’s not the same thing. Otherwise he would have butchered us and his team in one night,” Spy argued. “I know he’s not human, but I don’t like this.” He admitted, worried that Heavy would see through him, know that he loved Sniper, that he was here to protect him.

'Not “losing mind”. Claws. Eyes like a cat's. Wolf teeth. A beast.' Heavy sighed. 'All the same, do not like this much either. Even an animal should have food and a bed.’

At that he placed the sandwich down on the floor within reach of Sniper.

Sniper looked at it hungrily but shook his head, eyes going back to Spy. He'd understand. Even without Sniper saying it. Because as hard as he tried, it was like there was something blocking his throat, stopping him from speaking. Sniper swallowed, mouth dry. Nothing there. Nothing stopping him. It was all in his head. Had to be.

"He hasn't been eating?" Spy asked, casually. Fuck, this was bad, Sniper was starving. He had to act fast.

'No, not since yesterday. Medic has given him sandwich each day but he won't eat them anymore.' Heavy shrugged to hide his guilt. 'Can't make animals eat that do not want to eat. This happens when they give up and die.' He'd seen it many times before.

"Of course." Spy said stiffly. That wasn't it at all, but he could hardly argue Heavy’s point.

Heavy noted there was weakness here in the Spy, worse than the weakness Heavy found in himself. 'Medic will put it to sleep soon, do not worry. It will not suffer for much longer.' Somehow though, he suspected the Spy wouldn't find his words a comfort.

It made no sense though. Spy should hate the Sniper-creature more than anyone. He'd been its prey after all. Did he know something they didn't or was there some kind of monster-Stockholm syndrome going on here?

'I'm not—' Sniper rasped, the words coming out barely more than a whisper and were spoken to the ground, not the Heavy or Spy. It had taken him about a minute to find a way to force the two syllables out. 'I'm not. An animal. I'm not. A monster.' He stayed with his head bowed, unable to bring himself to look up and meet their eyes.

It took everything Spy had to stand still, to stay quiet. All he wanted to do was go to Sniper, cradle him, take off that damn muzzle and tell him he knew. He knew Sniper was a person, a man. Spy took in a slow breath.

“Medic should take care. Sniper’s team has been looking for him,” he said casually. That was all the comfort he could give his lover for now. He left, leaving Heavy there with the RED. At least now he’d know his team was missing him.

And now if Medic turned up dead, Heavy might have someone else to blame.

 

The Sniper only looked up again when Spy turned to leave, Heavy noticed. He noticed too its expression. It tracked Spy's every movement as he left the room, but it wasn't hunger on its face but something else. Despair, Heavy thought, though he might just be reading that wrong. Maybe it was really just unhappiness at seeing its meal get away. Maybe.

'Eat,' he instructed, though he suspected it was futile. Whatever was wrong with it, and whatever was going on with the Spy, wouldn't matter soon. Soon Medic's experiments would be over and then it could finally be put out of its misery. The creature would be at peace. Medic would be happy. Spy would be free. And the rest of the two teams would be safe. A happy ending all round.

Heavy turned and left too, switching off the light and locking the door behind him. A happy ending. A happy ending. Why did he feel as though there could be no such thing here?

 

Spy went back to his room first, to gather his things and his wits. He had to find an ally here, and it didn’t seem like Heavy could be swayed. It hadn’t helped that he couldn’t tell him the full truth without compromising himself.

Spy took out his butterfly knife, and flicked it from one hand to the next, back and forth as he thought and paced.

The only logical allies he had here were the REDs. Especially RED Spy and RED Engineer. RED Engineer was especially interesting, what with his threat of turning off respawn. If he could do that for one BLU he could do it for any.

But how to approach an enemy with such an absurd request? As RED Spy? If he were caught…

It would be worth it.

Sniper was worth it.

It would have to wait for their next battle. 

  
  


Spy slipped over to where Engineer had set up his sentries, disguised as the RED Spy. He’d been watching for awhile, from a distance, making sure that the real RED Spy wouldn’t be anywhere near.

 

Another day without Sniper. Another match they might as well throw away all chance of winning. For all that the team ribbed Sniper for doing nothing all day, they were really feeling his absence.

Engineer only put half the energy he usually did into upgrading his dispenser. What was the point? There were just going to lose again.

And the worst bit was they still didn't know what had happened. They'd even all been out searching the woods for any sign of their Sniper, with no luck. It was as if the bloke had just upped and vanished. At least there'd been no more signs of the BLU snake sneaking around.

Cloaking as RED Spy, BLU Spy waved as he came into Engineer’s space, being sure he was seen.

'Oh, Spy. Hello,' Engineer said, downcast. 'Had any luck over at the BLU base?' Stupid question. If he'd got the intelligence it would have been announced, and if he was over this side of the battlefield that could only mean he was fresh out of respawn.

“No, but I have found something far better. Our Sniper _ is  _ in the BLU base. He’s being held by their Medic.” Spy said. Engineer ought to be excited to hear that, RED had been losing every battle since Sniper disappeared. Eight against nine just wasn’t fair. They were meant to be evenly matched.

'Oh?' Engineer asked, immediately interested. He turned away from the Spy slightly to put his wrench back on top of the dispenser. As expected, the little instrument he'd rigged up to help him detect the BLU Spy's approach hummed against his skin.

RED Spy had told him just that morning that tonight he was going to go and sneak into the BLU base to search, despite the Administrator's orders. He would have had no opportunity to do so yet though.

So. What on earth was the BLU Spy up to now?

“You can turn off respawn for any one mercenary, can’t you?” Spy suggested. “I will take care of Medic and return Sniper to us… though he might be in bad shape.”

'Hah! Just turn off respawn? That was just something I told the BLU Spy to trick him into falling in line. Which you would know if you were the real RED Spy.'

Spy fought the urge to swear. He’d given his identity away. This was so important and he’d just given it away.

“You have some sort of device which lets you know I’m about, don’t you,” Spy said, gritting his teeth. “That’s fair. I apologize for the garrotte. I know you have no reason to trust me, but your Sniper won’t last much longer. What Medic is doing to him is beyond cruel. He plans to kill him soon, permanently. If he can access respawn, then I trust you can, or at least walk me through it.” Spy spoke quickly, stepping back a step or two out of Engineer’s wrench range.

'Something like that,' Engineer said vaguely, not willing to give the game away.

'Why are you telling me any of this?' he asked.  The Spy seemed oddly earnest and desperate and God knew Engineer wanted to rescue Sniper if he got the chance (and if any of this was true) but he couldn't help but be suspicious of a Spy, especially a BLU one. They weren't exactly the most altruistic of types.

"I may be the man's enemy, and I can be cruel during battle, but what Medic is doing to him..." Spy finally felt the horror of seeing Sniper opened up like a corpse coming up into his voice and his hands trembled. "I was part of the war. I have seen torture, and this is beyond that. No man deserves that." Spy tightened his fists with a creak of his gloves.

Engineer tried to hide the unease he felt. This was too...raw, too open for a Spy. It wasn't natural. It wasn't right. Maybe the Spy was just that much of a damn good actor but Engineer couldn't help but ask carefully, 'What's he...what's he doing with him?'

Spy tried to steady his voice but the disgust leaked through. "He's—" he didn't want to tell him that Sniper was muzzled and on a chain like an animal. "Vivisection. Without any kind of anesthetic."

'Viv— ' No. That was insane.

But the BLU Medic was insane.

Engineer stood a little taller. 'Your Medic's torturing our Sniper? But why? Everyone gets headshot, it just happens. You don't go about cutting people up awake for it!'

"I don't know why he chose Sniper, but I will kill him if you can help me make it permanent," Spy offered, softly. "That man can't be allowed to work with us."

A dozen different instincts were at war inside Engineer.

You never left a man behind.

You never trusted a BLU

You never let a bully get away with it.

You never believed a word a Spy said.

'Respawn...can be tampered with. No chance in hell I'm gonna let you know how, but if it'll get us our Sniper back I'll help. I'll probably have to ask our Spy as well.'

'Ask me what?' RED Spy said, appearing behind him. It was his doppleganger he was looking at though, not his teammate.

BLU Spy took another step back. Now he was also outnumbered. Fantastic. "You have nothing to lose. Take BLU Medic out of respawn and make certain your Sniper is still in respawn. I can take care of the rest."

Interest and alarm flared in the RED Spy's eyes. For a moment he forgot that spies should always pretend to know everything. 'Our Sniper? Where is he?'

Spy held back a groan. This was already risky without explaining everything twice. "Our Medic has him."

RED Spy's pale blue eyes narrowed to icy shards. 'If you're telling the truth I will  _ gut _ him.’ Unlike Engineer he didn't stop to ask what on earth the enemy Medic might be doing with him. Spy had been in this game for far too many years. ‘If you aren't, I will gut _ you _ .' Despite the threat, RED Spy knew they'd have to work together in this. 

The BLU's motivation still escaped him though. 'What do you gain from this?'

"You think I want to live with a man who would do something so unbelievably..." Spy stopped. "I don't care about your Sniper. I just want Medic dead. This way no one owes anyone," he explained.

There was a part of RED Spy that didn't believe his counterpart. However, his explanation did make perfect sense.

'What kind of...state is our Sniper in?' he asked. 'I cannot guarantee that he's still in respawn.' The Administrator had seemed pretty keen just to replace him. Out with the old, in with the new.

That thought hadn't occurred to Engineer. He frowned, trying to work out how hard it would be to check. Easier than taking someone out of it manually. He'd have to keep double-checking constantly though...and the updates didn't always show up straight away...

'I wouldn't risk letting him die,' Engineer said.

Killing their Sniper would be the easiest way to get him back but they simply couldn't say for sure if he'd actually come out the other side.

BLU Spy nodded. “If you can’t guarantee it, I can steal his camper and use that to get him back to RED territory, simple as that. I doubt he can walk far. But I need a guarantee that Medic won’t be in respawn. I don’t want to kill him more than once.”

Engineer and RED Spy did. The idea of killing the man who'd been keeping their teammate captive and making them them lose their matches over and over was a very appealing one.

'I've got a spare set of keys for the van,' Engineer admitted.

'You'd have to leave it somewhere the rest of your team wouldn't see and get it there at a time they're unlikely to hear its approach,' RED Spy pointed out.

“Oh please, as if I cannot find a suitable place to hide a vehicle,” BLU Spy snapped. “All I want out of this is Medic dead.” He had to be dead. He couldn’t give away Sniper’s secret. “How long until that will be possible?”

'Well, I've got some code checking to do first and then you're gonna have to get me into your base if you want me to take the system out for you. I'll need at least half an hour to do it, maybe more. So best it's late at night. Real early in the morning would be best but I'm not gonna leave the fella in there any longer than necessary.'

“Fine, I will get you in tonight,” Spy agreed. “I’ll meet you between the bases, at the fence. At midnight.” He’d have to be careful, so careful so as not to get them both caught. He knew where respawn was. He wasn’t really sure what it was or how it worked, but he knew where the door was and that it led to some sort of computer. It hadn’t really interested him enough to get into, not to mention, who wants to play about with the thing that keeps you alive?

He could do it. He’d sneak Engineer in, he’d get him back out and then he’d get Sniper out. He could do it.

'I can watch your back, Engineer,' RED Spy said, aware that the Engineer generally didn't like spies anywhere near his back but these were unusual circumstances.

Engineer nodded, still frowning, deep in thought about how he'd handle overriding the safety mechanisms on the Medic's respawn data.

Oddly enough, the idea of the RED Spy there to help was reassuring to the BLU. He did feel like an amateur next to the older Spy. He had no idea what sort of experience he had outside of this place, but the way he acted and spoke, even the way he held himself, it made Spy feel young and stupid. He hated that, but it was also comforting when they were briefly on the same side.

RED Spy pulled out a cigarette. 'We'll be seeing you at midnight then. If you see either of us beforehand or we see you, it will business as usual of course.'

'And if yah see your Medic coming out of respawn a few times more often than normal, well, that's just a funny coincidence,' Engineer added.

Spy left them both to their work, cloaking and slipping away to follow their Medic as he jogged after the RED Heavy.

Everything was arranged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there, Sniper.


	9. Chapter 9

Medic came out of battle annoyed and sweaty. He’d been killed far more than usual today, especially by the Engineer. The RED Spy seemed to be focusing on him as well. It was infuriating. He’d spent most of the second half of the battle in and out of respawn.

He headed to the medical wing after a quick shower and a change of clothes. Some of his annoyance had disappeared but he still felt the edge of irritation. He wanted to make someone suffer for it, and there was something chained up in the other room that was just perfect for what he had in mind.

Taking a blood bag and another syringe of epinephrine, he headed to Sniper’s room,  a smirk on his face and a spring in his step. He would be late for dinner, but Heavy would bring him something. He always did.

 

Sniper blinked against the harsh light, barely stirring from where he was curled up in the corner. His eyes went to the needle first, fear trickling down his spine. Then he spotted the blood bag. He pulled himself up into a sitting position, gaze fixed on the bag. To Sniper's embarrassment, his stomach growled loudly.

He couldn't blame himself though. It had reached the point where he was icy all over to the touch, his heart beating sluggishly in his chest. Keeping even water down had become a problem.

Medic grabbed Sniper easily, pinning his leg and injecting him with little trouble. He stepped back, sitting on the stainless steel table to watch the effects of this last shot, not bothering to take notes.

Sniper watched the Medic back, or more specifically, watched the blood bag in his hand.

He'd been good. He'd been good and let the Medic inject him with whatever shit it was this time. He'd been good. Would Medic let him have the blood?

Pathetic. _Pathetic._

Pain lanced through Sniper's chest. He clutched at it, growling between clenched teeth as the injection forced it to start beating faster than it seemed capable.

He hunched over, the pain obliterating all other thought.

Until hunger forced its way through with snapping jaws. Within seconds Sniper was at the end of the chain, pulling and straining against it madly, needle sharp teeth bursting through his gums and claws growing over fingernails.

Medic grinned, watching Sniper turn into the creature he knew it was. He tossed the blood bag to the floor, just out of its long clawed reach.

Sniper yowled, rage and despair filling the eerie sound. His pupils had shrunk to slits with no sign of human intelligence in his eyes. Sniper's brain was a fog, thoughts barely making it to the surface before being dismissed in place of pure hunger.

His eyes flicked from the blood bag to Medic as he yanked on the chain. He wanted both. But he knew he knew which he wanted more.

Medic's grin faded a little at the bloodcurdling yowling. That might stick with him, enter his dreams like the creature had several times before.

He'd kill it tonight, Medic decided. He didn't need it anymore. It was getting dangerous and Heavy and Spy both hated his experiments. It was a little disheartening. They'd both be happy to hear it was dead.

There may have been no flicker of humanity left in Sniper's eyes but he wasn't just a dumb beast. When straining at the end of the chain didn't get him what he wanted, he turned to inspect it, casting frequent, hate-filled glances back at the meal staying tauntingly just out of reach.

When he could find no weaknesses in the metal, he slunk back to the wall to scratch fruitlessly at the cement holding the chain in place with his claws.

Irritated growls filled the air. It was no good. No good. He couldn't get it free.

Sniper stalked back to glare at the Medic hungrily. He flopped down on the floor with a resigned huff after another couple of minutes, energy spent. Slowly, as he blinked miserably at the Medic, his pupils began to dilate back to normal again.

Medic left him there on the floor, exhausted and angry. He’d prepare the last shot the animal would ever get and put it out of it’s misery after he’d eaten his dinner and had a short break. He’d thought he’d get more amusement out of watching it scrabble for the blood bag, but it just reminded him of the nightmares he’d been having lately.

Ah well, soon enough it would be dead.

 

Heavy and Medic missed each other. By the time Heavy had let himself into the room they kept the Sniper in, Medic had already left for dinner.

Heavy found the Sniper lying sprawled on the floor despite the cold, panting softly.

Heavy wondered what Medic had done to it. Nothing for real scientific gain, he suspected. Nothing that would help humanity. Heavy had been so sure that what his Medic was doing here was important. Life-saving.

But looking down at the creature on the floor, he wasn't sure. It was starved and exhausted, so cold its lips were tinged with blue. Purple and yellow bruises blossomed on its ashen skin. Patchy stubble had come through, visibly rubbed away in places by the muzzle padlocked to its head.

It watched him with the blankly mournful look an abused dog will give its owner. Waiting. Resigned.

There was a blood bag on the floor for some reason. Heavy scooped it up. The creature’s eyes flickered to it, a pained look on its face. Then it turned away from it purposefully to curl up on its side, thin shoulders hunched.

Once again, Heavy was reminded of a dying animal refusing food.

He left then, but kept the light on in the hopes that brought it some level of comfort.

 

Spy slipped away after dinner to get the keys from RED Engineer and borrow Sniper’s camper. He allowed himself a moment of weakness once he got there and let himself in, burying his face against his pillow and just breathing for a moment. Everything would turn out and soon Sniper would be back in his home where he belonged.

Maybe more than a mere minute of weakness passed before he drove the vehicle towards his base, carefully. He’d already chosen the perfect spot for it; out of the way, dark, where no one bothered to venture. It would be a little bit of a walk for him once he freed Sniper, but he could manage it. They could manage it.

Now to wait for RED Engineer and RED Spy. He went to their meeting spot and waited, impatiently, too paranoid to smoke, but too anxious not to. Finally he just fiddled with an unlit cigarette, putting it in his mouth, taking it out, toying with his lighter, repeat.

 

The two REDs arrived early, similarly anxious to get their Sniper out of there.

'I've got the override codes,' Engineer said in way of greeting.

'If you try and trick or betray us, I will end you,' RED Spy said casually, lighting a cigarette. He'd been smoking constantly since the end of the match to calm his nerves.

“The camper is in place. Most of the lights are out in the base,” Spy had been watching them go out as the mercs drifted to bed. It seemed like the medical wing was still partially lit up, but most of the rest of them were off. He ignored RED Spy, flicking away his own, unsmoked cigarette.

'Sniper's...' Engineer hesitated, looking towards the RED Spy. Spy gave him a sharp, reluctant nod. 'Our Sniper's not in respawn anymore. You can't kill him.'

Well, he could. That was the problem. They'd just have to trust the BLU in this, as hard as it was to do.

'It's going to make getting the Administrator to accept our course of actions even harder than it already is,' RED Spy said. 'It's clear she's given up on Sniper and probably has a new one lined up for the job. She's not going to be happy about having to replace a Medic instead. As much as I wish to see the Medic rot in hell, is there any way his death can be avoided?'

“No, I don’t think there is,” Spy admitted. “Your Sniper will be back in his camper, in its usual spot by tomorrow. Let’s go.” He turned towards his base, not checking to see if they would follow.

The two REDs shared a glance. Spy squared his shoulders. Engineer pulled himself up to his full height. Time to head into the dragon's den.

BLU Spy got them in quietly, taking a quick and unused route to the respawn …computer? Mechanism? Spy wasn’t honestly sure what it was or how it worked and it was occurring to him only now that Engineer could easily take him out of respawn too while he was here and he had to just _trust_ that he wouldn’t. He stood at the door while Engineer went in, with a quick glare at the man to make sure he knew he was being watched.

Engineer paid no attention to the BLU Spy, too deep in thought about the security he'd have to bypass and the codes he'd have to input.

Though the RED Spy was a usually collected and calm individual, he found himself looking around constantly. He'd only been in the BLU base a couple of times. The last time had been over a year ago and it hadn't ended well when the enemy Demoman discovered him. He did not want a repeat of that.

He was torn too, between staying here to guard the Engineer and going with the other Spy to guard their Sniper. But if he went with the enemy Spy, he'd only increase the chances of being discovered and of getting Sniper killed. He'd just have to trust the BLU with this. For the first and last time.

 

Spy headed back towards the medical wing. He was filled with dread and his stomach was a hard knot. He just had to get to Sniper, get him free and down to his camper, kill Medic and hope that Engineer made his death permanent. Not too difficult, he lied to himself.

 

In Sniper’s room, Medic was preparing his final injection. He got the air bubbles out of the syringe, just a habit, no real reason for any concern at this point. He approached the exhausted vampire and grabbed its arm, injecting it in the veins in its inner elbow.

Again? What was it this time? Something Sniper had no name for, most likely. He didn't have the will to resist. Whatever it was would probably hurt. That much had been a constant since he'd first been kidnapped.

It wouldn’t be long now. Once again, Medic went to sit on the stainless steel table, waiting and watching as Sniper died in front of him.

A few seconds after Medic sat down, something slammed into Sniper's chest, crushing his ribs and heart. Sniper's hands flew to his chest. It was fine. It was whole. What was this?

The sensation grew worse. Sniper gasped, convulsing on the floor.

_Whatwasthiswhatwasthiswhatwasthis._

He clawed at his chest with chipped fingernails, scratching at the skin. He had to do something. He had to stop this. He had to.

His lips parted in a silent scream, legs spasming uselessly against the floor, eyes open wide in terror.

 _Nonononono._ This wasn't like last time.

The Medic watched him from on top of the table he'd strapped him down on again and again, aloof and impassive as—as—.

Sniper felt it. He actually felt it. The moment when his heart thudded painfully in his chest one last time. And then stopped.

He closed his eyes.

A hoarse rasping sound escaped him.

And then he was still.

 

Medic waited until it stopped moving, went over to check its pulse, gave it a little kick just to be sure, then started out towards his infirmary. He’d deal with the body tomorrow.

Hopefully he’d sleep better tonight.

Just as he opened the door, he was surprised to find Spy reaching for the doorknob on the other side..

 

Spy’s blood went cold as he heard the sounds in Sniper’s room as he reached the infirmary. It went quiet and he couldn’t wait a second longer. He moved to open the door, nearly running into Medic as the other man tried to exit.

'Ah,' Spy,' Medic said, feeling a little flustered. Spy hadn't opened the door in time to see him kick the Sniper, had he? That had been...unprofessional of him perhaps. Even if it had been an efficient way of checking the creature was dead.

'Is there anything you need, Spy?' He looked a little odd. Was he ill again? Maybe the Sniper had had some way of forcibly bonding the Spy to him and he'd somehow felt its passing. That would explain why Spy had never felt able to seek help for his problem with the parasite.

Or maybe he'd hoped for a crack at the creature before it died. Medic would understand entirely if he'd wanted revenge.

Of course, Spy had panicked and run in without thinking of a reasonable excuse. Thankfully he had always been good at lying on the fly. “I haven’t felt safe with him in the base,” he said, as though he was admitting something shameful. “I just wanted to be sure everything was …alright. I heard some strange noises when I came in.”

Sniper was on the floor, just laying there. As though he were dead, really dead. Spy swallowed hard, everything was suddenly too fast and hot and his ears filled with a humming rush of blood. He wasn’t dead. He was unconscious. That was all. He was fine. He was fine.

He had to be fine.

He couldn’t be too late.

'Oh, everything's fine,' Medic said with a dismissive wave of his hand. 'More than fine, in fact. You'll never have to worry about that creature coming after you again. It won't respawn, not after this much time off the field. I've known of deserters before and they've always been removed after a couple of days to make the clean-up operation easier.'

Thinking about that, Medic would probably have to ask Heavy to help him dispose of the body. Not a pleasant job and not something he liked asking of his friend, but he was sure Heavy would agree to it.

“What do you mean?” Spy’s voice hardened. “What did you do?”

Medic narrowed his eyes in irritation. 'I'd run all my tests, got all the data I need. I—oh, actually, I forgot to find out if it was sterile or not. Oh well. I got all the really _important_ data I needed and the creature was clearly suffering, so I've just been in and put it out of its misery. It was just a large enough dose of adrenaline to stop its heart, mixed with a couple of other things to help it on its way. It was very quick.'

Not as quick as it could have been though. A part of him had wanted to make sure it suffered at the very end.

No.

_No!_

Spy lunged forwards, knife drawn from his inner pocket, slicing at Medic’s throat. He couldn’t focus. Sniper’s still form on the floor was the only thing that could keep his attention.

'W—what?' Medic gasped, dodging backwards. Oh. Oh fuck. This had to be the RED Spy in disguise, come to rescue the teammate he thought to be human! 'You don't understand,' he said. 'It had to be done. That thing you called “Sniper” wasn't a real human being.

‘It was just a monster.'


	10. Chapter 10

_Downdowndown._

_So far down._

_So cold._

_Bitter cold._

_Hunger._

_Thirst._

_So much anger._

_Rage._

The feral creature on the floor opened its eyes, the pupils narrowed to that of a cat, the blue of his irises faded almost to white.

_Pain. Pain._

_Chest full of knives._

_Heavy._

_Limbs like lead._

_Him!_

_Him._

Close.

Hate coiled in its empty belly.

_Him._

And one other.

  
  


'Really! Really! It's not what it looks like!' Medic insisted. He backed away until his heel kicked the dead body lying on the ground.

The dead body growled, a low, guttural sound that ran deep into Medic's bones. He stilled, a frozen statue, blood dripping from his injured hands, horror etched into his face.

It—

It had been dead.

He was sure of it.

He'd chosen a lethal injection over a bullet because it would be more entertaining, but that adrenaline should have been enough to drop a horse, let alone a dying man.

But this was no man.

This was a monster.

Spy froze as Medic turned to look behind him at Sniper. He looked wrong.

He looked so wrong.

His eyes were white, his fingers clawed, and his expression was so strange and animal that even Spy’s blood went cold. The growl made him take a step back, but not before pushing the Medic in towards Sniper. The vampire must be starving. It’d be easiest to feed him like this, after all.

Fear shot through Medic as the force of Spy's push sent him stumbled over the Sniper. He tried to keep his balance as he fell backwards, bloody hands reaching out towards Spy. He fell hard on his back, stunned for a second. He went to scramble back to his feet a moment later.

He didn't make it.

Moving swiftly, but with the stiff, jerky movement of poorly done stop-motion, the creature was upon him.

He yelled as it shoved its face into his neck, only stopped from ripping his throat out by the muzzle he'd given it. There was nothing stopping the scrabbling claws from ripping into him though.

Medic screamed.

  
  


_Him!_

_Him!_

_Kill him._

_Kill him._

_Eat him._

_Mine!_

  
  


Shit, the muzzle was going to make this difficult. Spy stepped closer carefully, trying to stay out of Sniper’s view so he could cut the muzzle off without getting grabbed.

He stepped in close, cut the strap over the back of Sniper’s head, next to the lock, and let the vampire, _the feral_ , work his way free while throwing himself backwards well out of Sniper’s reach.

Sniper shook his head repeatedly while pressing in against the Medic's throat. It was infuriating. Maddening.

He could hear the Medic's blood pumping frantically in time with his heart. Smell it thrumming just below the skin. Feel it smearing over his bare chest as the Medic tried to fight him off with wounded hands.

Then the muzzle fell away. Sniper didn't have the mental capacity to register the how or the why, only that it had happened. With a triumphant yowl he shook it free, sending it flying off across the floor, and sunk two full sets of razor-sharp teeth into the Medic's neck.

Medic screamed again, thrashing beneath the Sniper. He'd kill it! He'd kill it! When he got back from respawn, Medic was going to get Heavy to help strap this monster down and take it apart piece by piece with no help from the medigun until it was truly dead once and for all.

  
  


Spy prayed that Engineer had taken Medic out of respawn by now. He hadn’t planned on killing him so quickly, on having him die until at least a half hour had passed. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d left the two REDs. Fuck, all he could do was hope they’d done their part. And that Sniper could come back from this. He found himself on his knees on the concrete floor, watching the scene in front of him in a dissociative fugue, waiting for it to be over.

 _Please be alright._ He couldn’t connect this creature with Sniper. _Please come back and be you again._

The Sniper's eyes closed in bliss as blood hit his tongue for the first time in days. He dug his fangs in deeper, chewing at the wound to stimulate the flow of blood.

Under him, the Medic gasped and fought back desperately but this wasn't the weakened creature he'd left dying on the floor, this was the other thing, the true monster lurking inside.

It hurt. Horribly. If only it would deep a little deeper though, sever something vital so he could bleed out quickly and respawn again as soon as possible. Of all the ways he'd died, this had to be one of the very worst.

If he hadn't been so busy fighting for his life he might have wondered why the RED Spy was sitting nearby, making no moves to run from the monster. Or why the RED Spy still looked like the BLU.

  
  


It seemed like an agonisingly short time later that Sniper's stomach began to protest. He pulled himself free, making an irritable, grumbling little noise. Full already. Resentment flooded through him.

He looked down at the prey beneath him. Still alive. Still kicking. He nipped at it, teeth sinking into the collarbone. His food gave a cry, flinching beneath him. A grin spread across the Sniper's face. He did it again, nipping the Medic over and over while the Medic tried to fend him off desperately. Fruitlessly. This was just a game to the creature, a way to play with his food, and he was enjoying getting to win for once.

“Sniper,” Spy called softly, trying to call attention away from the Medic and get even a little bit of a normal reaction from Sniper. Even now he didn’t want to expose anything more in front of Medic that he didn’t have to… just in case. He couldn’t say anything too revealing.

“Sniper, please.”

Sniper's head snapped up, blood dripping from his stubbled chin. His inhuman eyes locked onto Spy. He slowly pulled himself away from the Medic, not giving the dying man so much as a glance.

_That one!_

_Mine!_

_Mine!_

It didn't matter that he'd just fed or that his stomach had shrunk so much he could barely handle anything more in it. All he saw was a new toy.

Sniper crept closer, watching it. Watching for movement.

Just as he was about to lunge forward, the chain caught him.

Sniper snarled, furious.

“Sniper, it’s me, it’s Spy—” fuck, if only they knew each other’s fucking names. Calling him Sniper wasn’t exactly the most humanizing.

“Sniper, do you remember me? Do you remember anything?” Spy felt a wave of helplessness overtaking him, rising up in his throat. “Please,” he crawled a little closer, seeing exactly how far Sniper could reach.

Sniper pulled at the chain, fighting to get further.

It was coming towards him. Yes. That was it. Just a little closer.

_Mine._

He didn't need this one, but he wanted it.

A strange little thought tickled at the back of his mind.

Something...something.

That scent.

  
  


Fuck, Spy was just going to have to trust that Engineer hadn't taken him out of respawn. He just had to get closer. He slowly, hesitantly, held out his hand, flinching preemptively. He was sure he'd get grabbed and pulled in and attacked, but if there was a chance this would help...

Sniper watched him approach, still scrabbling to get closer, tugging at the chain.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer.

Sniper gave one final heave on the chain and it broke away from its mooring, weakened by Sniper's scratching at the cement the day before.

In an instant he was on the Spy, knocking him flat on his back, sinking in teeth.

Spy screamed, grabbing at Sniper's face and trying to push him off. "Sniper! Please, Sniper.... fuck please, come back!" he forced his elbow under the vampire, squirming. He refused to give up, to kill Sniper. He wouldn't use his knife.

Sniper froze as soon as he tasted Spy's blood. He paid no attention to the Spy's squirming, brain locked onto one thought.

_Mine!_

His.

His.

The scent. Why hadn't it registered?

This was his. His Spy.

Sniper blinked hard, new thoughts, new feelings cluttering his predator's mind.

_Mine?_

He slowly disengaged his teeth, pulling them free of flesh and fabric. Instead, he buried his forehead in against Spy's neck, avoiding the teeth marks.

He drew in a shuddering breath, closing his eyes tight shut, and wrapped his arms around the Spy.

Something seemed to have clicked into place, one reality swapped for another in a single moment.

_Spy._

“Sniper?” He’d stopped. He’d stopped! Sniper nestled into his neck and shuddered, wrapping Spy up tight in his arms.

Spy cradled the back of Sniper’s head, stroking his hair, kissing the side of his face. “Are you alright?” He managed. “You’re …?” He had no words for what Sniper had been. Feral didn’t seem to cover it.

Sniper had no reply for Spy, not yet. He gave Spy a quick squeeze to let him know that he'd heard. That he'd understood. He couldn't stand to let go yet, breathing in Spy's scent like it was a lifeline.

He still didn't even know if he could trust Spy. He didn't know if he'd been the one to betray him to the Medic or not. But he still couldn't stand to let go all the same.

  
  


_Good, good. Let the RED Spy have his throat ripped out too,_ Medic thought muzzily. Let him suffer as well.

The room spun around Medic, his limbs feeling distant and cold. He closed his eyes. Not long now. Then when he respawned he'd have his revenge.

It was funny though. This death felt...different than normal. Then again, he'd never been bitten to death. That must be it.

Must be…

Must...

  
  


Sniper held him even tighter and Spy was sure there was some form of understanding in that response. There just had to be. He wasn’t biting him anymore, anyway.

The side of his neck felt like it was on fire. Blood ran hot down his shoulder to the floor. Shooting a glance towards Medi,c he could see that the man was dead now. Dead and still there. Engineer had done his job in time and now… now Spy just had to get Sniper to his camper, get the camper back where it belonged and dispose of Medic’s body before anyone, _mainly Heavy,_ discovered him like this.

But for just a few more moments, he was happy to hold Sniper, to stroke his hair, to soothe him. To do the things he wished he could have done days ago.

“It’s alright, Sniper, you’re safe now, you’re safe. I’ll get you back to your team,” he promised. It hurt his neck to talk but it was worth it.

Sniper nodded and pulled away slightly. Not able to bring himself to look Spy in the eyes, he turned his face away and rasped, 'Kill me.' It was the first time he'd spoken in days. The first time he'd been able to put into words how much he longed for this to end.

“No, you’re not in respawn,” Spy explained, pushing free from Sniper’s embrace. He grabbed Sniper’s face and turned it towards him. “It’s going to be alright. If you can talk to me, you’re coming back. You’re going to be fine.” He couldn’t stand to think of it working out any other way.

Sniper looked almost human again. He looked like an exhausted, abused human, except that his pupils were slightly different sizes, one too small and narrow for a man and the other about average. He looked pathetic and Spy’s heart ached to see him like this.

Sniper's gaze flicked away from Spy again.

He couldn't stand it.

Couldn't stand to be treated like a real human being. Didn't Spy know he was a monster?

Monster or not, it was a shock to the system to hear that he wasn't in respawn. If he died now he'd die for real.

Except, that last death hadn't been forever, had it? The whole world had stopped for just a minute or so and then he'd been back. He'd been back feral. Properly feral. You weren't supposed to be able to return from that any more than return from the dead.

“It’s alright,” Spy had no useful words for Sniper, no real comfort he could offer, other than the same words over and over. Fuck. “I— I’m so sorry. If I had known sooner… you didn’t deserve this, any of this,” he promised Sniper. They had to get moving. They had to get Sniper somewhere safe. “Can you walk?”

Sniper wasn't sure. He let Spy help him to his feet, feeling wobbly and uncertain.

'Got to, got to,' he mumbled, gesturing towards his face and pulled away to stagger over to the cracked sink. Sniper turned on the cold tap (the only one that worked) and splashed it across his face, washing away the worst of the blood. He'd need a proper shower to get rid of all of it but at least this way it wouldn't look like he'd been drinking anyone's blood.

The thought of a nice, warm shower motivated him to move more than the fresh blood in his belly.

Well, Sniper could walk, at least a little. Spy didn’t have to get him too far, he’d made sure to bring the camper as close as he could and Sniper could lean on him the whole way. As long as Spy didn’t have to actually carry him.

Fuck, his neck hurt. He grabbed his bloody knife and wiped it on Medic’s coat, putting it away in his own jacket. He went to sling Sniper’s arm over his shoulders and looked up at him.

“Ready?"

Sniper looked from the dead Medic to the chain on the wall to the muzzle and to the sink, a dazed look on his face.

Finally he turned to Spy and croaked, 'Got no clothes on.'

As much as he loathed this little cell, the idea of stepping outside of it scared him. Especially with all those other BLUs out there. And especially when he was stark naked.

Spy nodded, pulling off his jacket and handing it to Sniper. "I know." He handed his cloaking device to Sniper too, making sure he could hold it before turning it on. He hadn't thought to bring clothes, he'd been so worried about Sniper surviving long enough to even make it out of the cell.

Sniper took it off him carefully. He still half felt as though he should have claws instead of nails. He'd never tried using a spy cloak before. It felt unnerving to look down at yourself and see the floor through a shimmer. It made Sniper feel like he really had died and now had come back as a ghost to haunt the Medic's corpse. He glanced back at it and felt his poor heart skip a beat.

'Spy,' he said, gesturing.

The body was gone.

  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, chapter 11!  
> If anyone's skipped to this chapter, the basic gist of the previous ten chapters is that with Heavy's reluctant help, Medic has been experimenting on Sniper. This has included starving him and leaving him locked up (and muzzled, after Sniper attacked him), as well as vivisection and similar unpleasantries.  
> Heavy has been going along with this because of Medic's wishes and because he has seen the damage a feral vampire can cause.  
> Medic, convinced that the hints of a feral form were Sniper's 'true self', experimented on forcing it to come through.  
> He also monitored Spy's blood levels, and once convinced Spy wasn't turning into a vampire himself, revealed to Spy what he'd done with Sniper. Spy was forced to pretend he wasn't horrified by the situation, but slipped away to warn members of the RED team as quickly as possible.   
> Working with RED Spy and Engineer, he managed to orchestrate a rescue attempt.  
> Unfortunately, by this point Medic had become fed-up with Sniper and convinced he'd got all the data he needed, and so gave him a lethal injection just before Spy arrived. (Sniper having been taken out of respawn for going AWOL.)  
> However, despite his weakened state, this wasn't enough to put Sniper down for good, only to send him feral.  
> Sniper managed to rip free of his restraints and kill Medic, before turning on Spy.  
> For reasons even Sniper can't explain, Spy was able to bring him back to himself.  
> Now they just have to escape, and to find out why Medic seems to have gone through respawn when he shouldn't have done.

Spy cursed. Nothing was working how he’d hoped it would. This was the problem with being emotionally involved!  _ Nothing went smoothly because you were too busy focusing on Sniper _ , he inwardly cursed at himself. “I will deal with that once you are safe,” he said, resolutely.

His voice was a croak at this point and he had to stop and undo his tie to wrap it around his neck, trying to stem the bleeding caused by the bite. “Just focus on walking. Your camper is close by.” He let Sniper lean on him again and set off towards the camper, getting out of the infirmary wing as fast as he could.

'Okay.'

Sniper had trouble walking after so many days chained to a wall. If it hadn't been for the Spy, he would have struggled to leave the room

Stepping out into the infirmary felt wrong. The room was too big, too exposed.

'My camper?' he asked, Spy's words finally trickling into his brain.

“Your Engineer gave me the keys,” he admitted. “Not much further. You’re doing well.” He was feeling pretty weak himself, but thankfully the blood flow had mostly stopped and even though his clothes were ruined, he was likely to survive this with just a trip to the dispenser.

'Engie?' Sniper said, eyes wide. He'd thought the rest of his team had given up on him. Abandoned him. 'Is Engie here?'

“Engineer and your Spy were here to take Medic out of respawn. They’ve been looking for you.” 

They made their way out into the night air and Spy was so glad nothing else went wrong on their way out. He got Sniper to his camper and helped him in the door, letting him make his way in. “I don’t think you can drive. I’ll take you back first. I’m sure your team will want to check on you. I …I told them about the vivisection, but nothing else.”

His teammates had come looking for him. They had. The realisation felt like a punch to the guts. But a good punch to the guts. Sniper wasn't sure how that worked.

He agreed with Spy about the driving thing. As much as he usually disliked other people driving his van, if Spy left it to him they might never escape.

He wasn't sure how he felt about Spy telling his teammates about the enemy Medic cutting him up though. He touched his fingers to the puffy, raised skin where the Medic had roughly pulled him back together. It was the only bit of him that felt hot, most likely infected. Despite the blood, his fingertips still felt icy, his thought process distant and sluggish. If Spy had insisted he needed to get into a frilly dress before they could make his getaway, he probably would have gone along without and barely even noticed the lace.

Spy felt for Sniper’s hands, taking the cloaking device off him and pressing him down onto the bed. “I’ll drive you back, and leave you for awhile. I need to make sure Medic dies and stays dead. You’ll be alright alone until your team checks on you,” he said, not sure if that was true, but praying that it was. Sniper would be fine, physically. But he needed someone with him. Sniper still had a mark on his face from the muzzle, Spy noticed. Hopefully it would fade soon.

The van smelt slightly stale after standing empty for a few days. Or maybe it had always been like that and Sniper hadn't noticed. He couldn't bring himself to care though.

His van.

His bed.

His Spy.

None of this felt real. Maybe this was all just a pleasant, horribly pleasant, dream he'd wake up from in a moment to find himself still chained and muzzled in the dark.

'Will you come back?' Sniper asked quietly, talking to his blood-stained hands instead of Spy.

He used to be more than happy with being alone but right now he couldn't stand the thought. It was as though the whole world would start to slip away from him if he were left to his own thoughts for too long.

“As soon as I can,” Spy knelt in front of him, taking Sniper’s bloody hands in his own and looking up at him. “If I didn’t have to leave, I wouldn’t. Do you want to sit up front with me? I thought you might want to get dressed first.”

Sniper looked around his van slowly. He blinked, a dazed look still on his face. 'Clothes. I think. And I want to get out of here. I want to leave.'

What if the Medic and Heavy burst out the door and dragged him back inside? He couldn't let that happen. Wouldn't let it happen. He'd kill himself first.

“Alright. I’ll start driving, you stay here.” Spy realized Sniper was right, he was being ridiculous, comforting him when they weren’t 100% in the clear yet. He got into the front of the van and started to drive towards Sniper’s usual spot, leaving Sniper alone in the back.

The rocking of the van as it moved over rough terrain with its beaten up old suspension somehow made Sniper feel even more disconnected from what was going on. He buried himself under the covers, curling up into a ball with them pulled in tight around himself.

Sniper closed his eyes. He was exhausted. He'd barely moved for days, yet here he was, about ready to pass out from fatigue.

What harm would it do to just rest for a few minutes? Just until they got back. Sniper let himself relax into the mattress.

The rocking motion soon lulled him to sleep.

 

“Sniper? Sniper?” Spy said quietly. He’d parked and hurried into the back of the van to check on Sniper, only to find him (hopefully) asleep. He watched Sniper carefully, making sure he was still breathing.

“Sniper?”

Spy extracted clothes from Sniper’s cupboard and left them in a  neat pile on the bed, noting to himself that these days he knew where Sniper kept everything, down to his socks.

Though he hated to leave him, Spy had to head back out towards his base. He was exhausted. The bite in his neck had mostly closed up, thank God. 

He saw the two REDs on his way back and, though his heart raced, he didn’t cloak or hide, but walked towards them.

RED Spy and Engineer stalked over to him.

'We told you it would take half an hour!' RED Spy said. 'Is that what you call half an hour?'

'Is he alright?' Engineer interjected. 'Where is he?'

“No, it was  _ not  _ half an hour. But if I hadn’t moved when I did, your Sniper would be dead,” Spy spat back at his counterpart. “He’s asleep, in his camper. You might want your Medic to take a look at him, but he’s in one piece.”

RED Spy bristled. 'The process wasn’t complete! He started to come through respawn! Engineer had to—'

'Be a bit more forceful than intended,' Engineer interrupted, keeping his explanation vague.

'You're just lucky he came through dead!' RED Spy said. 'This way, it should look as though he died to some freak respawn glitch, not because someone took him out and killed him.'

Spy had to fight hard to keep the relief flooding through him from showing. The Medic hadn’t respawned properly. He was dead. Once and for all. He would never be able to hurt either of them ever again.

'Well...' Engineer said. 'Not sure how well that would hold up once someone started investigating. I scrambled the cameras so there's no actual proof we were there, but...'

'Once Sniper's back on the battlefield I suspect the rest of the BLUs will put two and two together. Unless they already knew about all this?' he asked the BLU Spy.

“Only Medic, Heavy and I knew about Sniper.” 

Spy really had no idea what he was going to say to Heavy. He’d gone over a few ideas, but any way he said it, Sniper was alive and Medic was dead. This was going to be hard for the Russian. “If he’s dead, then there is no issue. I think your Sniper being alive and in his …‘home’ is thank you enough,” Spy said, disdaining Sniper’s little camper. No matter how fond of it he had become, it was much better for them to think he thought of Sniper as an enemy, as beneath himself.

Still, he did want to thank them. He couldn’t have taken Medic out alone and now he didn’t have to. But his pride and his sense of paranoia wouldn’t let him. At least now he didn’t have to take care of the body, he just had to get to the dispenser, have a shower and head back to see Sniper afterwards.

'Thanks for, you know, getting our Sniper back,' Engineer said. It was hard enough thanking his own smug Spy for anything, but the enemy snake? It was tough. But it had to be done.

'How bad is he?' RED Spy asked. Despite his attitude, he really was concerned for his teammate's wellbeing.

Spy shrugged off the thank you, turning to the RED Spy. “Not well. I need my own trip to the dispenser, if you haven’t noticed, so I will leave you here,” Spy didn’t want to spend anymore time with them. He wanted to get healed up and clean and go see Sniper himself.

Not well? Both RED Spy and Engineer nodded in goodbye and hurried off to find Sniper's van.

 

They opened the camper door and Engineer felt relief just to see Sniper there. Never trust a BLU, and never trust a Spy, it was true, but he had actually held up his end of the deal. Mostly. It had been a really close call with the Medic.

Sniper looked awful; he was pale, shivering under his blankets, dark circles under his eyes, his face gaunt. He looked like he’d been starving. Engineer exchanged a glance with his Spy. What sort of effect would this have on their teammate? Sniper was a true professional, he’d want to stay and work, surely, but would he be able to? Would he need time off to really heal?

There was blood on his neck and flaking off his ear.

“We should call Medic."

Spy had seen men looking like this before. It brought back unpleasant memories he'd hoped were buried.

Not much of the Sniper was visible under the blankets but he could see how thin their teammate was. Surely the amount of time he'd been missing couldn't account for that much weight loss? Maybe he'd lost weight recently and Spy hadn't been paying enough attention to notice. Sniper had always been the most distant member of the team, the one who was there when you really needed him but would always take his leave as soon as possible.

RED Spy wondered if that was why the Medic took him. Certainly, he was the one RED who could go missing for long periods of time without anyone noticing. Still, Spy felt a little ashamed. He should have noticed. He should have gone searching the BLU base despite the Administrator's instructions.

'I'm not sure,' he said slowly. 'I suspect another Medic is the last thing he wants to see right now...' It's what he clearly needed though. Knowing the enemy Medic, most of that dried blood had to be Sniper's.

“We could just grab him a medipack,” Engineer suggested. “I don’t know if he’d like us touching him though.”

Sniper never had been that fond of physical closeness. Even a friendly pat on the shoulder seemed to be too much for him sometimes. Engineer had always done his best to respect the man’s need to be alone and independent, and wasn’t sure if they should push the boundaries now that Sniper was hurt. “I could build a dispenser outside."

'Don't think he's going to be keen on any of those options,' Spy said, keeping his voice low. 'The second might still require us to help him up and he's not going to like that. Nor all the banging and clattering as you build the dispenser. I think it's the best option for now though. We'll have to try and assess for ourselves if he's ready to see Medic before we mention anything.'

The moment they told Medic Sniper was back but most likely injured, he'd be out here, no matter what they said.

“One of us should stay with him. But I’ll grab him a medipack first,” Engineer said, resolutely. “I don’t mind staying the night with him. Then he can let us know what we can do to help when he wakes up.”

RED Spy decided not to argue with that. When Engineer made his mind up, his mind tended to stay made up.

'I doubt he'll want to let either of us stay here but it's either that or the medical wing.'

Spy would prefer moving him to the medical wing personally, especially since there wasn't much extra room in the van, but he suspected a more familiar environment would be best for Sniper.

"The last place he'd wanna wake up is an infirmary," Engineer gave RED Spy a quick pat on the arm. "Stay with him for a minute, I’ll be back."

Engineer headed into the base to grab the nearest medipack. He mused on the events of the evening and how it'd all gone. Not quite according to plan, but it had worked out. He thought to grab himself a worn paperback from the rec room as he passed too. Who knew when Sniper would wake up?

 

A twitch shook Sniper's body. RED Spy watched him closely from the seating section less than a metre away. Nothing for another minute until he let out a huff, legs flexing. As Engineer entered the van Sniper gave a sharp intake of breath and his shoulders twitched

'I think he's dreaming,' Spy said. 'Or having a nightmare.'

"Not surprising," Engineer said softly, "would you drop by sometime tomorrow if I don't come find you?" 

RED Spy nodded, still watching Sniper. 'I think we'd better wake him up though.'

He moved over to the bed and reached out to gently shake Sniper's shoulder.

'Spy!' Sniper cried, his voice still raspy from disuse. Chest heaving with panic, Sniper dragged his arms up from under the bed to look at his hands.

Nails.

Just nails.

No claws. No bits of BLU Spy's flesh and blood clinging to them from where he'd ripped him open. Just a dream.

The fact that Sniper was back in his bed didn't register properly, not when he woke up enough to realise there was a figure standing over his bed. Sniper shrunk away with a sharp indrawn breath, eyes wide.

Engineer knelt on the floor next to his bed when he saw the terror in Sniper's eyes. "It's alright, it's just me. You're back home."

Spy? Which Spy was he dreaming about? And why? Was the BLU Spy more involved with Sniper's torture than he'd let on? Engineer bristled at the possibility of having been fooled.

Sniper blinked up at them, disoriented and confused. A reality in which he was tucked up in bed and two of his teammates were watching over him wasn't one of the ones he'd daydreamed about.

It took him a few moments to properly understand the situation and to remember he was no longer in captivity. The giddy relief that came with that realisation left him speechless.

Sniper slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position. He swallowed, trying to find the words but they wouldn't come. Instead, he just nodded, still wary. Maybe this was all just a fever dream. Maybe he'd been drugged by the Medic. Maybe he'd wake properly in a moment to find himself still chained to that cold floor.

He was wearing a BLU Spy jacket. Engineer wanted so badly to look away and give him privacy. Sniper was never like this. Living with other men for so long, you got used to seeing a certain amount of emotion from them; but not from Sniper. Sniper was cool headed, a rock, always quiet and helpful. He rarely shared anything about himself and certainly not this kind of weakness.

It was uncomfortable. Engineer exchanged a glance with Spy.

"I brought you a medipack," he said.

RED Spy wondered if Sniper had been drugged. That would account for the vacant expression and the way he seemed to stare right through them. Then again, many things the BLU Medic would have done could account for it. Spy didn't want to think about it.

Sitting up, he looked even more terrible. The covers he held close and the...BLU jacket he wore helped cover him up, but it was clear there were at least a couple of nasty scars on Sniper's chest.

'Do you know where you are?' Spy asked when Sniper made no sign of having heard Engineer.

Sniper nodded slowly. He opened his mouth, a small sound bubbling up in his throat before he could put the syllables together properly.

'M’ van.'

"Do you want us to get RED Medic? Or do you want us to patch you up?" Engineer asked, slowly. Sniper wasn't exactly with it.

Sniper blinked, brow furrowing. 'No,' he said. ''M fine. Just need some sleep.'

'I think you could do with a little more than that, Sniper,' Spy said delicately.

'Something to eat, then,’ Sniper said. His eyes lit up at the idea of food. The thought also made him feel slightly nauseous but he knew if he could push past that and actually eat something, he'd feel so much better.

"You got any soup in here?" Engineer started to look through cupboards casually, as though he wasn't intruding on a man's privacy. "Bet you'd like something easy on the stomach. And I can build you a dispenser outside if you like, rather than getting Medic."

'Tomato soup,' Sniper said. He nodded his head towards RED Spy. 'Cupboard just below you. And a dispenser sounds good to me.’ Just thinking about its healing stream washing over him made him ache to feel it. So much of him hurt still.

Spy dug around in the cupboard until he found a tin of soup. He cracked the lid off and poured it into a saucepan on the hob. He turned the gas on to heat up the soup and asked, 'Spoons?'

'Drawer to your left. Not got any soup spoons though.'

'We'll forgive you,' Spy promised. The Sniper looked a bit better now. Perkier. Spy wondered if he'd been given much to eat at all in the BLU base. From the looks of him, no.

Engineer left the soup to Spy and jogged to his workshop to get the makings of a dispenser. He jogged back and started throwing it together. Sniper would probably like a shower too, to get all that blood off him. They could help him into the base for that, his little camper might not be outfitted for that.

'Soup's ready,' Spy said after testing it. He tipped it neatly into a bowl. Sniper sat up further, shuffling into a more comfortable position to receive it.

It was then that he realised he was still wearing the BLU Spy's jacket. He shrugged out of it as soon as he spotted, mortified. He flung it to the far corner of the bed as though it had bit him, wanting to make it look as though the realisation he was wearing it had disgusted him.

'Din't have anything on so he was just...' Sniper tried to think of the best way to put it. 'Stopping me freezing to death on our way out of the BLU base.'

RED Spy decided not to question it. Sniper was uncomfortable enough as it was without him mocking the man for wearing BLU.

'Sniper, why—' he started, and then stopped himself. He probably didn't want to know why the Sniper was naked and the Sniper probably didn't want to tell him. Spy just handed over the soup and spoon instead.

Engineer came back in. “Dispenser’s on. Might have to get a little closer to this side and you won’t even have to go outside.”

Sniper had thrown off the BLU jacket now and was looking flushed and embarrassed. He decided not to mention it. Poor man had been through enough.

Sniper sat frozen between food and healing for a moment, before realising the soup was a bit too hot to eat yet so he might as well move closer to the dispenser first.

Seeing his intentions, Spy took the soup back off of Sniper.

'Thanks. Uh, one thing though. I am completely starkers under here. Couldn't pass me a pair of pants from in there, could you?' Sniper asked Engineer sheepishly, pointing at a narrow wardrobe built into the van.

He hated asking people for help. He hated anyone seeing him in this state. But there was no avoiding either right now and he was more interested in getting better than trying to pull a lone wolf.

There were already clothes spread out on Sniper’s bed. If he hadn’t done that, who had? The BLU Spy? Hm.

Engineer patted his clothes and turned to give him privacy, with RED Spy. “Just let us know if you need help getting up."

'Oh,' Sniper said, spotting the clothes. 'Don't need any help, I'm fine.’ Partly he didn't want anyone any closer to him than they needed to be right now because he was certain he had to smell pretty rough. Old blood and sweat and bad breath. Medic hadn't exactly provided him with a complimentary toothbrush.

He struggled into the clothes, glad that both Spy and Engie had turned away so they couldn't see the extent of the scarring down his chest.

Sniper dragged himself to his feet, needing two attempts before he managed it successfully. He stood swaying on the spot for a moment and then used the counters to pull himself towards the doorway. Spy shifted out of his way as he sat down on the edge of the van door, red wisps wending over to him.

Sniper closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief as the fumes wrapped around him. Within a minute he was already feeling so much more alive. More human.

Spy passed him the soup again. 'Thanks,' Sniper said, spooning up a mouthful. The tomato soup tasted so sweet it made Sniper's whole mouth ache. He forced himself to swallow and had another spoonful.

Engineer and Spy exchanged a few glances as Sniper struggled to eat. “Is there anything else we can do?” He asked. It was hard to help someone who didn’t want any help.

Sniper paused, thinking. 'Maybe see if you can get me back in respawn? That'd be a weight off my shoulders.'

Spy looked at Engineer. 'I could go contact the Administrator, tell her we've got you so she can put you back in.' He hoped.

“That’d be great, thanks Spy,” Engineer sighed. “Do you want me to stay with you?” He asked Sniper.

'Don't need a babysitter,' Sniper grumbled, though it was clear from his tone of voice that he was only complaining for show, not because he actually wanted the Engineer to leave.

He finished the soup in record time, set the bowl aside and slowly dragged himself to his feet.

'Honestly wouldn't mind someone to, uh, keep a look-out while I go shower. Just 'cos I think it'd be weird if anyone walked in and the first they saw of me was, well, all of me. That'd just be a double shock to the system. Don't mind you telling the guys I'm back neither, just so long as they leave me alone. Don't think I could handle Soldier or Scout right now. Or Medic.'

“That’s fine. I’ll walk you in. We’ll let everyone know you’re back but not well enough for visitors. Medic’s gonna want to see you as soon as he realizes you’re hurt, so we’ll let you tell him when you’re ready.” Engineer offered Sniper his arm to help him towards the base.

Sniper would have suggested Engineer tell Medic that he wasn't injured but he was sure Medic wouldn't believe that.

'Not sure if there's much point trying to keep it a secret from one person,' he admitted. 'Someone else is bound to tell him and he'll just get angry about it.' Angry Medics weren't a good thing at the best of times. Just the thought of the RED Medic acting aggressively towards him in any way right now made Sniper instinctively hunch his shoulders. He tried to pass it off as stretch by rolling his shoulders back.

They reached the base and Sniper paused just outside the door. The thought of cold confined rooms made his heart start to race.

“True. I’ll just let them know you’re tired and need some rest after… after everything. I won’t tell them anything more,” he promised.

Engineer opened the door for Sniper and made sure the way was clear. No teammates were about at this hour, thankfully. “It’s alright, Sniper, no one here but us.”

'Thanks,' Sniper said, meaning it for all the reluctant edge to his voice.

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The road to recovery is long, and it starts with small steps.

Sniper entered the shower room and flipped the light switch. He'd never been more grateful for the harsh, unnatural light as he was now.

Sniper glanced to the door, reminding himself that Engineer was probably just on the other side. Then he scolded himself for being such a little bitch about this. It was a bloody shower room. It wasn't going to hurt him. Even if he was alone.

Sniper fetched a towel and toiletries that he kept in a cupboard in the corner. Lugging them out here everyday had become too much of a pain in the ass and no one touched his stuff if they knew what was good for them.

He stripped off, leaving his clothes behind on a bench with his towel and padded up to one of the shower heads.

He put his hand on the tap and paused, mind spinning away from him.

He stood there for a full minute, naked and cold and alone, before he managed to shake the recent memories off enough to turn on the tap. Icy water spewed from the shower head. Sniper spluttered and leapt back.

He laughed to himself then. What a idiot. It hadn’t really been that long at all but he’d still apparently managed to forget how to shower. Wiping sodden hair back from his face, Sniper waited for the shower to heat up. When steam began to billow off it, he took the plunge.

The water was hot. Too hot, but he needed this right now. Needed to feel something that wasn't an aching cold anymore.

The suds when they ran down the drawn were a murky brown, dust, dirt and blood mixing together.

 

Engineer stood at the door, listening closely. There was silence for awhile but finally the shower turned on and he breathed a bit of relief. He’d been worried he’d wait out here while Sniper needed him in there, but he couldn’t bring himself to go in and check on the man. He didn’t want to know how extensive the scars he’d caught a glimpse of were. He didn’t want to ignore Sniper’s boundaries and intrude on his privacy.

He waited outside, leaning against the wall beside the door, listening. Sniper laughed to himself once, but other than that he didn’t hear much.

Poor man. They’d give him a while off if they could, let him rest up.

 

The scars on his chest were worse than Sniper had realised. As the grime came off, a foul liquid oozed out in a couple of places, much to Sniper's disgust. Especially when he had to prod at the puffy areas to try and force all of it out. The dispenser had helped greatly but it wasn't as good as a real medigun. His body had to reject the infection physically.

As well as the large marks on his chest, some chafing from the collar and muzzle remained. Sniper couldn't wait to shave (though he didn't trust his hands right now) but he was worried about what damage to his face he might find with the scruffy beard he'd started to grow gone.

 

After what was by far the longest and most furore shower of his life, Sniper shut off the water. Again, he remained standing there still for far too long. It was as though if he stopped moving for even a moment, he spiralled down to somewhere he didn't want to be.

Sniper forced himself to go fetch his towel.

'I'll be out in a couple of minutes,' he called through the door, towelling his hair dry.

“Alright,” Engineer called back, letting him take his time, but making sure he knew his teammate was waiting outside for him, guarding him.

Sniper emerged a few minutes later, hair fluffed up and skin scrubbed clean. There was a rather pink look to him from all the time spent under such hot water but he didn't care. It was just nice to be warm and clean again. He'd always been fine going a few days out in the bush without a proper wash but despite the jokes his teammates sometimes made, he did prefer to be at least reasonably clean.

"You look better," Engineer said. To say nothing of the way he smelled, he thought to himself. 

'Thanks,' Sniper said, feeling all-around happier with himself than before. More live. More human.

"Want anything else or do you need to rest?"

'I think I'm fine. To be honest, I just want to get some sleep. I've already asked too much of you, but could yah be a mate and tell Spy I'm fine if you see him? To be honest, I feel like if I wake up to anyone coming in to check up on me, I might sock them in the face before I know what's going on. Best for everyone I get myself a bit of space until everyone starts yammering on at me tomorrow.'

In fact, Sniper desperately, intensely didn't want to be left alone right now. Despite always being the loner type, he had no far how far back he might sink if left to his own devices right now.

But it was his Spy he wanted and he wouldn't be able to come anywhere near the camper if there were REDs lurking about.

Of course, Spy might have returned to his base for the night but it was a risk Sniper was willing to take.

That shouldn't have surprised Engineer but he hadn't expected even Sniper to want to be alone after that. But it made sense. He was intensely private and a proud man. He wouldn't want to be fussed over. "Course. I'll let everyone know to stay away from your camper, you come out if you need anything. I'll uh, I'll getcha a walkie talkie tomorrow so you can check in if you ever need to."

Sniper chuckled to himself. 'Only if I get to say “over and out” each time.'

He was thankful Engineer had accepted his reasons for wanting to be alone and not pushed it. If he'd been Medic, Sniper would likely have been spending the night in the medical wing with hourly checks to make sure he was still breathing. Sniper pushed the thought away. He didn't want to think about either Medic right now.

Sniper bid Engineer farewell and headed off. As soon as he stepped outside, his shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets. Sniper made his way back to his campervan and switched the light back on as soon as he reached it. The dispenser's fumes wrapped around him pleasantly but he cut them off as soon as he snapped the door closed. He couldn't bare to be out in the dark right now.

Sniper had always rather liked the dark. Certainly, he'd never been much scared of it. And even now he wasn't. Or at least, it didn't feel like fear. Something similar though. Something that twisted a fist in his chest at the thought of it.

 

Spy had made it back to his own base, got himself healed up and had his own quick shower to remove the blood. He changed and grabbed a few things he was sure would help Sniper.

By the time he was heading back out to the camper, he was exhausted. A full day of work plus murdering Medic and getting Sniper out, and now another trip out to the enemy base? If he wasn't full of sickly coiled fear, he would be yawning.

He made sure there was no one around but Sniper, waiting quietly for some time before going in past the dispenser.

There was an immediate relief from all the stress when he saw Sniper, dressed and looking better, hair damp, skin flushed.

He smiled. "Sniper," he put the little bundle he'd brought on the counter.

'Spy!' Sniper said, standing up from the bed. He was ashamed at the naked relief in his voice.

A moment later, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. He stood there awkwardly, waiting for a cue from Spy. He didn't know how Spy's feelings towards him might have changed now he'd seen him more as a monster than a man. He might flinch away if Sniper tried to touch him.

Spy stepped into him carefully and wrapped his arms around him, watching Sniper for any sign that he was uncomfortable. He'd sounded as relieved as Spy felt. He rested his forehead against Sniper's shoulder, stroking his back gently.

Sniper let out a deep sigh, the muscles in his back loosening at Spy's touch. He wrapped his arm around Spy and pressed his face into the side of his neck. Spy had always smelt good to him, despite the cigarettes. Now his scent just made Sniper feel at home.

Spy had no real words for how worried he'd been, for how much better he felt now. "Let's sit you down," he said softly. "I'm sure you're exhausted."

Sniper nodded against Spy and reluctantly pulled away. He seemed to have lost his words again after the initial greeting and found himself struggling him eye contact again. He sat himself down on the edge of his bed, staring down at his hands.

_ Nails, not claws, _ he reminded himself. Not a monster. Not really.

Spy sat with Sniper, thigh to thigh, leaning against him with an arm around his waist.

"I... you don't have to answer this," Spy started. "But calling you Sniper doesn’t feel right anymore." He didn't put words to the question but it still hung in the air.

'Why?' Sniper said, eyebrows pinching together.

So Spy really couldn't see him as the same again? Couldn't see him as the man he'd been before?

"I wanted to be able to call you by your name, to know I knew you. I wanted..." Sniper seemed upset by this. "I wanted you to trust me with it and feel safe with me," he tried to explain it. He'd wanted Sniper to remember him, to still care for him. "I asked too soon, I think. I'm sorry."

'Oh,' Sniper said. He' d really got the wrong end of the stick and Spy looked upset by it. Sniper wasn't used to seeing that kind of hopeless expression on Spy's face. It didn't belong there.

'No, it's fine. I mean, uh. Really. I, just—It's James. My name's James.' Sniper shrugged weakly. It had been so long since he'd said his own name that the word felt alien on his tongue.

A slow smile spread across Spy’s face. Sniper did trust him with that. “It’s our secret,” he promised. “…mine is Étienne.” It was only fair, really. And they had been through enough together that they’d both earned the right, Spy thought.

'Étienne?' Sniper echoed, trying to get the pronunciation right. It certainly wasn't a name he'd ever heard before.

He stopped trying to puzzle it out for a moment to realise what Spy had just done. He'd given Sniper his name. His actual name. No one on the team ever did that, least of all spies. Least of all enemy spies. It left Sniper feeling strangely honoured as well as trusted.

Spy had given him his name. Étienne. Bloody strange foreign name, yes, but his name all the same.

Spy chuckled. Of course the pronunciation might be difficult for him at first. “Good,” he praised. “Now, rather than making tonight more emotional and difficult for you, I want to do the opposite. What do you need?” He asked, putting a hand on the back of Sniper’s neck and gently stroking. There was a mark there, from the chain he’d worn, a reddish purple weal.

'S not difficult,' Sniper grumped. 'I'm not emotional.'

He wasn't entirely sure that was true though. He was feeling rather overwhelmed by everything that had happened. On some level, Sniper still couldn't believe any of this was real. He couldn't believe he'd been allowed a second chance at getting his life back. At being a real person again.

'I just want to...sleep, really. I just want to curl up and be warm for once.' He hoped the implicit request was clear enough without him having to say it. He felt emasculated enough by all that had happened, he couldn't quite bring himself to say, 'I need you to stay with me tonight.'

“That’s fine,” Spy assured him. “I brought a couple things too.” He reached for the little package of things he’d put on the counter.

“Chocolate,” he handed Sniper a small box, and then a little tin. “This is salve to help with scarring. And,” he pulled out a small rectangular object. “A little radio for you. I wasn’t sure if you had one. It plays tapes.”

He’d left one in there for Sniper, it wasn’t anything special, just soft piano music. Spy found it soothing, and hopefully Sniper would too. “I thought it might be nice for you to have some sound in here for when you have to be alone. I’ll be here as often as I can, but…” He shrugged. Sniper knew they were on different teams, that it was difficult to be together all the time. He’d understand.

Sniper had no idea what he'd ever done to deserve such a thoughtful partner. He was a monster. Not even human. Spy knew that and yet he'd done all this. Sniper hadn't even thought of getting himself a radio but he knew immediately what a god send that would be for filling the soundless voids when he was alone.

'Thank you,' Sniper said. 'I mean it.'

He wasn't sure there was much that could be done for the awful raised scars on his torso but he took the salve all the same. The chocolates he opened, popping one in his mouth and holding the box out to Spy. The chocolate was delicious but so sweet it made Sniper's jaw ache.

Spy took one too, letting it melt on his tongue. He started undoing his shoes and peeling out of his clothes, folding them all and leaving them beside the bed, getting comfortable on the bed and waiting for Sniper to join him.

Above all, he didn’t want Sniper to think that he saw him differently because of what had happened. If anything, all that had changed was that he felt more protective of Sniper, which he was sure the man might not appreciate. He was an adult, not to mention an assassin perfectly capable of defending himself. But Spy just wanted to tuck him under his chin and make him feel safe.

Sniper copied Spy, pulling off his shoes, socks and trousers, before pausing. He felt like a right wuss keeping his shirt on but at the same time, clothes seemed important somehow right now. Grounding. The shirt covered his ugly new scars and was a tangible reminder that he was alright.

He'd leave it and his underwear on. It's not like they'd been getting up to anything anyway. Sniper had never expected to see the day he couldn't handle the thought of sex but here it was.

Sniper tugged at the covers trapped under Spy to show him he wanted them to move underneath.

Spy shifted over, letting Sniper pull out the sheets and slipping under them with him. He opened his arms, waiting for Sniper to come lay against him.

Sniper pulled himself into the bed and slotted his arms around the Spy's body like they were two perfectly matching puzzle pieces. They'd end up too hot eventually and the arm under Spy would probably go to sleep if he left it there too long but for now, everything was exactly how it should be.

Spy pressed a kiss to Sniper's temple, relieved that he smelled like himself again, not like that horrible room he'd been trapped in. "Think you can sleep?" he murmured.

'For days,' Sniper said with a quiet laugh.

"Good," Spy stroked Sniper's hair gently, trying to help put him to sleep.

Sniper let out a satisfied sigh and closed his eyes. Even with Spy here, his thoughts would drift back every now and then. He pushed them away, letting the Spy's light strokes ground him.

It wasn't long before he fell fast asleep.

Sniper was quick to fall asleep and Spy, exhausted as he was, was quick to join him.  _ James _ , he thought as he drifted off.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I better get my butt into gear with more editing! We've almost caught up with as far as I've got so far!

Darkness. Darkness. A chink of light. Spreading across the room. Sniper gasped and flinched away. If the light hit him, it'd reveal him to be what he truly was. A monster.

'Nearly there!' BLU Medic cheered from a grandstand across the room. 'Then you'll see! Then you'll see!' A faceless crowd roared in agreement.

'No,' Sniper moaned. 'This is me. This is me. I don't want to. Please. Please don't do this.'

The light continued to spread, growing ever closer.

 

Sniper was twitching in his sleep, in Spy's arms, and it wasn't long before Spy woke, sitting up. The long night came back in a rush and he put a hand on Sniper's shoulder.

"James," he said softly. "Wake up."

'What?' Sniper snapped, waking with a start. For an odd moment, Sniper thought his dad was trying to wake him up for school and he felt very grumpy about it. Then memories of the dream mixed in with memories of the last few days and he went utterly still, waiting for reality to sink in. When it did, it wasn't what he expected.

Sniper almost cried then, for the first time in his adult life. He took a deep, steadying breath. He was safe. Everything was fine. Spy was here.

"I've got you," Spy assured him, pulling him just a little closer and working his fingers into his hair. Nightmares were surely going to be Sniper's new normal. It'd be difficult to live through such torture without coming out with nightmares. "You're safe in your camper."

Sniper nodded, swallowing thickly.

Look at him. This worked up over a nightmare. Pathetic.

He couldn't entirely blame himself though, not after what he'd been through.

'Sorry,' he muttered against Spy's skin.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. I'd be more worried if you weren't having nightmares," Spy said, trying to lighten the mood a little. "You can tell me about it, if that would help."

Sniper sighed heavily, trying to work out if he did.

'I—' the rest of his words stuck in his throat. The thought of recounting being back there left him feeling numb and distant again. 'It was just a stupid dream. I was back there but it wasn't about anything that actually happened. Just weird dream bullshit.'

Spy nodded. He understood how dreams could be, how nightmares could be. "Can I do anything?"

'What can you do to help with bad dreams?' Sniper muttered pessimistically. He was just going to have to live through them.

Spy just nodded, silently. Of course, what could he really offer Sniper after a trauma like that? He had experience living through torture and he still had very little idea as to how to help his lover. If he had no clue, then how would Sniper? All he could do was be here and hope that was some kind of comfort.

'I'm gonna try and go back to sleep,' Sniper said, pulling away slightly to move into a more comfortable position. He made sure he remained in contact with Spy though; it was a reassurance he felt like a child for needing but he knew he needed it all the same.

'Sorry if I wake you up again.'

“Nothing to apologize for,” Spy shrugged, running a hand over Sniper’s shoulder. “I have my own share of bad dreams,” he assured him.

Sniper felt curious then. What kind of dreams woke Spy up in the night? It seemed rude to ask just after glossing over his own dream though, and the whole topic of nightmares was perhaps not one to be discussing while wishing them to stay away.

Sniper closed his eyes again. Just like before, sleep claimed him far quicker than he would have expected. It was just what his body needed though.

Spy was far more restless. He was trapped between knowing that Sniper needed him here and feeling like he wasn’t being very helpful. There was so little he could really offer. He didn’t get back to sleep for some time, but finally drifted into his own nightmares.

He was back in his home town, the neighbourhoods he’d grown up in, but everything was painted RED and BLU. It was familiar and wrong, unnatural as dreams were. Sniper was with him, wearing his RED uniform. They were in a stolen car. There was a checkpoint ahead, BLU. They were going to get caught.

The wound behind his ear was open again, bleeding down his neck and Sniper’s eyes were wrong. Sniper’s claws reached for Spy’s bandaged hand. He wanted to see his damaged fingers.

There were bright lights on them both and when he turned back to Sniper he was dead in the passenger seat, bleeding through his uniform where the Y incision was.

 

Sniper woke early next morning and immediately looked towards where he knew the door would be for the chink of light that signalled Medic was coming. Except. No. Everything was wrong. Sniper blinked, the events of yesterday sinking in.

No.

Everything was right.

Sniper looked down at the sleeping Spy next to him and a wave of affection so intense it almost felt like anger swept over him.

This Spy.

THIS SPY.

Sniper wanted to hug him so hard his ribs cracked.

He wanted to kiss him until there was no air left in either of their lungs.

He wanted to bite him and drain him dry, Sniper loved him so.

He loved Spy.

He bloody loved this guy.

Sniper wrapped his arms around Spy as carefully as he could, wanting to be in contact with every inch of him simultaneously but not wanting to wake him up at the same time.

Spy woke anyway, even with Sniper being careful. The feeling of being constricted had worked its way into his dream and he’d fought his way up into reality. Sniper had wrapped him up in a tight hug and Spy tightened one arm around him in return.

“Alright?” He asked, still too sleepy to form real sentences.

'Mpth,' Sniper said, pulling Spy closer.

No more Medic. No more Heavy

His Spy had come back for him.

He was free.

He was happy.

There was only one thing currently bothering him.

'I'm hungry,' Sniper admitted.

Spy nodded. That wasn’t surprising, with how much weight Sniper had lost. “Food or blood?” He yawned, allowing the larger man to pull him in for more cuddling.

'Both, to be honest. I, uh, had some of your Medic's blood yesterday,' not that he actually remembered much of that very well, 'but I think my body's used most of the energy from that already.'

Besides, it hadn't been nearly as good as Spy's.

“Alright. I didn’t bring any food, but I’m guessing you have some here?” Spy would have to bring some real food once he had the time to cook. “And, can I feed you without getting venom?" Medic’s assessment of his addiction made him nervous, as did the way he’d felt without Sniper around to bite him.

'Umm,' Sniper said blankly, panic fluttering through him for reasons he couldn't explain.

'Yeah, uh, I'm sure that's fine,' he said faintly. It was Spy's blood, Spy's body. His decision. All the same...

'Why?'

Spy  shrugged, as though it were nothing. He didn’t want Sniper to worry. And he didn’t want to explain exactly what it was he was worried about.

“I just don’t want to be out of it, especially if you might have teammates dropping by later,” he lied.

'Yeah, that makes sense,' Sniper admitted. He still didn’t like it though. Something felt wrong about even thinking of biting Spy without venom.

Sniper had vague recollections of being happy to do it to the BLU Medic, over and over and over, but that might just have been because he was in such a bad shape his body wasn't able to produce any venom at the time.

He concentrated on the thought of Spy's blood. Of how good it would taste. How much it would do him good.

Sniper felt his fangs come through. It was nice to have that happen of his own volition again, not because fear or drugs forced them out.

Spy was still shirtless, so all he had to do was tilt his head, offering his neck to Sniper. He trusted that the vampire wouldn’t use venom if he asked.

And what if he never wanted it again? Really, the addiction side of it would never just go away. When Sniper and him parted ways it would only mean going through a terrible withdrawal again.

A smile quirked on Sniper's lips at the sight of Spy tilting his head so invitingly while half naked. 

Sniper’s little smile gave Spy a warm feeling in his chest, tight and sweet. He was feeling well enough to look so happy, even after only a day of freedom.

Sniper swallowed, tasting venom. He was so used to using a little that it was going to be hard to resist doing it this time, but he would if that was what Spy wanted. Even if it felt wrong.

How was he going to handle this? He probably still needed to do two bites, one to get the blood flowing, one to...well, did he really need to do the second bite? If he was careful, Sniper could probably get away with just one bite. This was going to hurt Spy after all.

It was going to hurt him...

Sniper didn't want to hurt him.

'Are you sure?' Sniper asked.

He probably had a little bit of blood in his fridge still. Maybe that would do. Or at least help.

Spy nodded. He knew this was going to hurt, but after last night’s bite he felt like he was prepared for itt. “I’ll be fine. I know it’ll hurt.” He wrapped an arm around Sniper’s neck, anchoring himself. He leaned in for a kiss first.

Another flutter of uncertainty ran through Sniper, dispelled by the kiss. It was soft and gentle, for two paid mercenaries. Almost chaste.

Sniper wanted more and yet he found himself unwilling to part his lips any further. Then other thoughts clamoured at the back of his head, voices telling him he wasn't allowed this. That he was a monster. Monsters don't deserve tenderness.

Spy felt the tense hesitation in Sniper and threaded his fingers through Sniper's hair, pulling away from the kiss only to press another to the Australian's cheek. He smiled, "You need a shave, tireur."

'Yeah,' Sniper agreed, raising a hand self-consciously to rub against his facial hair. He hated it getting this long. It was okay in the outback, though even there it had always made him feel less like a professional, more like... a wild bushman. Less human.

Now it was five times worse than that.

But the problem was, his hands had been a little unsteady the last few days. He wasn't sure if he could even manage to shave himself quite yet.

Spy realized how self conscious that gesture was quickly, and felt a little bad for bringing it up. He'd only meant it teasingly. "Do you need a razor? I can bring one next time."

Sniper snorted. 'Course I've got a razor,' he grumbled. Sure, using his kukri was a cool trick and useful if he didn't have a proper razor around, but it was still rather on the impractical side.

Still, shaving could wait. It would have to wait.

Sniper ducked his head towards Spy's throat and waited for Spy's go-ahead.

Spy nodded, trying not to tense up in preparation for the bite.

With a sigh of relief, Sniper sank his fangs in. He tried to keep the bite as quick and painless as he could, but he wasn't sure how successful he was.

He was shaking, slightly. Sniper wasn't sure why.

He pulled away carefully and instead of biting a second time, just pressed his mouth to the puncture wounds.

Spy tightened his hands into fists, doing his best not to flinch. Sniper needed him to not recoil, to not treat him like a monster. He’d offered this freely and even if it hurt he could-

Fuck it hurt, without the adrenaline pumping through him like last night it was agonizing and he couldn’t help inhaling hard, a little hiss of pain. He let himself relax as best he could in Sniper’s arms, grateful that there was no second bite, only Sniper’s mouth on the first bite.

Sniper's hunger flared. He fought the urge to sink his teeth back in again, this time with venom.

He needed this.

Spy shifted in his arms.

Alarm flooded through Sniper.

_ Mine! _

He needed to bite, to subdue, to keep his prey from escaping.

He needed this.

With a shudder, Sniper pulled away from Spy's throat, blood smeared down his chin. He turned his head away from Spy, breathing hard, eyes tight shut.

Spy resisted the urge to hold his hand over the bites in his neck. They’d close soon, Sniper wouldn’t let him just bleed.

Sniper’s eyes were shut tight and he’d turned away. He looked somewhere between panic and tears and Spy pulled him back, pressing their foreheads together. Ignoring Sniper’s bloody mouth, he kissed him. “It’s alright, it’s ok,” he assured him softly. “I’m fine.”

Sniper swallowed, tasting blood, and nodded. He'd only taken a little blood, but despite his hunger he decided that was enough. He didn't need much. Not really. Well, not normally. He'd be fine.

Sniper swiped his tongue across the wound, feeling intense regret as he did so. Not for himself though, but for hurting Spy.

It reminded Sniper far too much of the first time he'd bitten him. And the last.

Spy licked the blood off his own lips, wiping it on the back of his arm. Sniper seemed satisfied with what he’d taken so maybe that was enough for now. Fuck, his neck ached without the venom to help deal with the pain. He’d forgotten how much the venom really did for him, besides that wonderful relaxed feeling it gave him.

“Alright,” Spy said. “Food now,” he stood, making sure he was steady on his feet before moving. He spotted the bag of caramelized hazelnuts that he’d brought to share back before he’d known Sniper had been abducted. It seemed like so long ago now, after everything that had happened. He tossed them to Sniper. Something sweet would be good for both of them.

Sniper reached out to catch the bag. And missed. They fell onto the bed. Sniper looked down at them in embarrassment and gave Spy a sheepish shrug. He wiped his chin against the back of his hand to get rid of the worst of the blood. 'Where did these come from?' he asked. Sniper hadn't seen Spy come in with them.

Sniper missed the catch and Spy had to disguise a little smile. He didn’t want Sniper to think he was laughing at him. “We were supposed to meet, and you weren’t here…” he didn’t think he had to explain when that had happened. “I assumed you couldn’t get away, so I just left them here for when you got back.”

Spy grabbed a glass out of the cupboards and filled it with water, drinking his fill, refilling it and handing it over to Sniper.

'Thanks,' Sniper said, accepting the water. He held it in his hands, staring down blankly at it, the hazelnuts he'd been interested in a moment ago forgotten.

'It was just a few days,' he said, an uneasy kind of laughter bubbling up behind his words. 'Just a few days. That's all it took.'

“It was a week,” Spy corrected. Sniper’s laughter spoke of hysteria to him and he sat next to the thin man carefully, taking the water so he wouldn’t drop it. “That’s a long time to be tortured.”

A week. He'd been kidnapped on a Friday and now it had to be...Saturday? Sniper's teammates hadn't mentioned anything about there being a match today so it had to be the weekend now.

It felt like it had been longer than that. Certainly, the time had dragged on and on when he'd had nothing to occupy himself with but the same thoughts twisting themselves into circles again and again.

'Felt like forever,' Sniper said, though part of him wanted to reject the suggestion he'd been tortured. Not because it was wrong but because...because... Sniper tried to keep hold of that thread but lost it.

Time to accept it. Torture. That's what it had been.

Cruelty for cruelty's sake. Like electrocuting a dog again and again until it lies down and gives up, all in the name of science.

That's what Medic had been doing.

He'd been a monster.

So had Sniper. But at least his monstrosity hadn't hidden behind a civilised face. At least he hadn't tried to claim his monstrous actions were all for the greater good. At least he'd rejected the monster in him, not embraced it.

Spy wasn’t sure what kind of words could possibly comfort Sniper after what had happened. “I know it won’t be easy to move on at first, but…” he looked down at his own hands, wrapped around the water glass. “Time helps.”

Sniper rubbed his thumb against a welt across his left wrist. It must have been from where he struggled while the Medic operated on him while he was awake. Like his chest, it hadn't faded like it should have done. Sniper wondered if the scars would be forever.

'Yeah,' he agreed.

Time heals. It doesn't erase all scars, both physical and mental, but time scabs over wounds and allows them to heal. He knew that from experience.

It just didn't help with the here and now.

It didn't help how angry and scared and useless he felt right now.

Spy watched him rub at his scar and his thoughts followed the same lines. “Have you seen your Medic yet?” If anyone was going to be able to help with the vicious looking scars Sniper carried, it would be a Medic. Dispensers were great, but not the same as attention from an actual medic, or a medigun. Though, if he were Sniper, an infirmary would be the last place he’d want to go right now.

Sniper snapped his head up to look at Spy, eyes wide. 'No!' he said, in the tone of a person who'd just been asked if they'd like to see their Grandmother naked.

Spy nodded, “He might be able to help with the scars. He’s not BLU. He’s your teammate,” he sighed. “You can avoid him for a couple more days, I’m sure no one would deny you that.” Spy put the glass down and shuffled back on the bed to lean against the side of the camper. He was sure a large part of the reason Sniper was keeping his shirt on was due to the scar down his chest and abdomen.

Sniper sighed. 'Yeah,' he agreed reluctantly, understanding the logic. He took a deep breath to calm the flutters of panic in his chest that came with just thinking about facing his Medic.

They weren't the same people.

RED Medic wouldn't...

He wouldn't.

Would he?

'I've always avoided our Medic,' Sniper admitted. 'Couldn't risk him finding out about me. Still can't.'

Now more than ever. There'd be no way for BLU Spy to rescue him alone if his team thought he was a danger to them all. There'd be no one who could help him then.

Sniper breathed deeply and Spy let him take a moment to calm down before speaking. "Understandable. But he ought to understand you not wanting his attentions. Even if you just get the medigun, hopefully it will help." Spy rubbed a hand over Sniper's back slowly. "Are you still in pain?" He hadn't gotten a chance to look at the Y incision with Sniper keeping his shirt on, but it seemed like the sort of thing that might resist even the dispenser. Not that Spy could blame him for hiding it, but he wanted to know what kind of shape he was in. If he hadn't been so exhausted last night he might have made sure Sniper was well enough to even hold. Sleeping with another person could very well have been painful.

'Umm,' Sniper said, brow furrowed as he took the time to actually think about that question. He'd been in so much pain all the time before that now all he could really register was the relief that it was gone. When he dug deeper though, Sniper became aware of the aches and pains he'd just buried a little deeper.

'I guess,' he said with a shrug. 'A bit.'

"It's worth a trip then?" Spy suggested.

Sniper's shoulders moved with the weight of his sigh. 'Maybe,' he said, which was the closest to agreeing he was going to be able to bring himself to right now. He knew Spy was right. But he also knew his fears were justified.

'I, uh, don't know how much longer you'll be able to stay here,' Sniper said, hoping that didn't sound like he was trying to get rid of the Spy. 'Engie or our team's Spy could be dropping by soon to check I'm still here or something.'

"I should get back," he agreed. "I need to be there when Heavy discovers Medic is gone."

If he wasn't, he'd only appear more suspicious. He had a feeling Heavy might already know more than he'd like him to.

'Be careful!' Sniper said, fresh panic flooding through him. He hadn't thought about the Heavy. Hadn't thought about how he might react to the Medic's death.

'He's going to know it was me. He's going to see the marks I left.'

"Of course I'll be careful," Spy soothed. "Medic glitched through respawn, there won't be any marks on him, thanks to your Engineer." Spy squeezed Sniper's arm, standing and starting to get dressed.

Sniper relaxed a little, shoulders slumping as he realised the Spy would really have to go now. Sniper could handle being on his own for a while though. He was tough. A little bit of time alone wasn't going to kill him.

Still, as soon as Spy left, Sniper intended to turn that radio he'd been given on.

Spy finished dressing and bent to kiss Sniper once more. He really didn't want to leave him alone, but he was already cutting it close. Heavy might be on the warpath. Spy couldn't seem suspicious. Sniper looked exhausted and all Spy wanted to do was let him rest, watch over him.

"I can try to meet you again tonight?" he suggested.

Sniper pulled away from the kiss reluctantly.

'Yeah,' he agreed, not comfortable putting into words how much he wanted Spy to come back to him.

It was hard to step away from Sniper, who so clearly didn't want him to go. "Take care." He forced himself to walk away and out of the camper, squinting in the sun. Clumsily, he cloaked, not wanting any curious REDs to happen to spot him. He'd uncloak closer to ...he stopped himself before he thought of the BLU base as 'home'.

Hopefully Heavy hadn't figured it out yet.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, another chapter for your lovely people!
> 
> We've found where we're going to split the story next so there's only two more chapters to go after this!  
> I've already started on the next section though so there hopefully won't be much of a break in between.

Sniper stared at the door long after Spy left. He dragged himself to his feet to turn on the radio and then stood there for a time, unsure what to do with himself.

It felt odd being able to do things. Anything he wanted. He could eat whatever food he could find. Drink anything. Do anything. There were no chains or locked doors to stop him.

It was too overwhelming.

Sniper washed away any remaining signs of blood and curled back up into his bed. The van filled with a pleasant song on the radio Sniper had never heard before. Sniper let it lull him back to sleep again.

 

Spy was sweating in the morning heat by the time he was nearly back. It seemed wrong that the sun should be able to cook someone who was invisible, but it certainly did.

Getting closer to his own base, he finally uncloaked.

'Spy!'

It was the BLU Heavy, hurrying towards him. Heavy must have been outside the base already to have spotted and reached him so soon, most likely looking for him.

Spy resisted the urge to recloak and headed towards Heavy. He kept his face concerned, but calm.

'Spy!' Heavy repeated. Despite his bulk, he could move quickly when he wanted to and it was no time at all before he was right in front of Spy, wide-eyed.

He said something in Russian, the relief in his voice clear even if the meaning in the words was not.Then he switched to English. 'Spy, you are alive!'

“Yes… I’m sorry I worried you,” Spy gave him a weak smile. This was not the reaction he’d been expecting. “I was hoping to find out what happened last night with the REDs.”

'You...don't know?' Heavy asked hesitantly. Then his tone of voice changed to something harsher, more weary. 'I think you do know. When you were gone and it seemed you were dead too, I thought maybe—' he broke off, shaking his head. 'But you are alive. It—he had help escaping, I know this. Could not have done it alone. You helped him.'

Heavy's words were accusatory but his tone was that of someone sadly accepting the news of a loved one's death.

"Their Sniper is back, yes, but I didn't help him. Medic did, though not on purpose, I think. He went through respawn." Spy took Heavy's hand carefully, fully aware that this man could kill him with almost no effort at all. "I'm sorry, I know you and Medic were close. I didn't agree with what he was doing," he admitted, Heavy already knew that much, "but he did his best to help me and he was my teammate."

Heavy pulled away from Spy at his last few words. They rang hollow. 'He said it was to help...but it did not end that way. He was a man I did not know, by the end. I could see this ending coming. He could not. Cannot pull a tiger's tail every day and not expect one day it might fight back.

'He was...best friend to me.' Heavy didn't go into anymore details. The way Medic had sought to befriend him when all others in this country had been afraid of him or tried to pick fights, teammates included, had meant more than he could express. And it wasn't any of Spy's business. Wasn't anyone's business.

'But I will not seek vengeance.' He wanted to though. Vengeance. Such a good word. Strong. He'd first read it in a book when he'd been learning English. It was a mighty word. But guilt had its own power and that what was held Heavy back.

There'd been times in Russia where, for all Heavy's size and strength, he'd had to stand back and allow injustice to occur. Back then he'd had to pick his battles so he could live to protect his family another day.

Here, Heavy had known what the Medic had done wrong and yet made no efforts to stop him. He'd killed his best friend almost as certainly as the RED Sniper had.

 

Spy nodded, relief flooding him. Sniper would be happy to hear that too. He knew Medic and Heavy had been incredibly close. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been together as teammates and friends, or if Heavy had wanted more, but it was over now. Medic was dead. Heavy wouldn’t seek revenge. Sniper was alive and safe and healing. It would take awhile for things to calm down.

Still, Spy felt an odd spike of guilt for being the one who had helped kill Medic, and having Heavy believe it was their enemy. Heavy didn’t have many friends on the team, if any, now. He was respected, but most of the team just left him to his own devices.

He could think of nothing that would be honest enough to comfort Heavy, and so he only said, “I’m sorry.”

Heavy gave no reply to Spy's apology. He was certain the Spy had more to do with his friend's death than he said, but there was no proof. Heavy should feel angry, and suspected anger would come to him eventually, but for now he just wanted to mourn the loss in peace.

'Is Sniper still a danger to BLU?' Heavy asked.

“I don’t think he’ll come anywhere near us after what happened,” Spy said softly, turning to head back to the BLU base. He was ready to clean himself up and have a nap.

Heavy wouldn't blame him. He also wouldn't blame the RED Sniper if he sneaked into the BLU base that night and slit every single one of their throats in revenge. Or more likely, ripped them out.

'Had better show others you are alive. When Medic respawned dead it was bad enough, when you were found missing...' The team was full of stoic men, Scout aside, but none of them had been able to hide their worry. In most it had manifested in direction-less anger. It had not been a peaceful time at the BLU base.

Spy cursed himself for being unable to leave Sniper earlier. This was not how he’d wanted to come back to base. He’d not wanted so much attention on himself. Nor had he expected his team to care much if he disappeared. That was a bit of a surprise.

'Go,' Heavy said. 'Show you are alive.'

Heavy would have come with him, but he felt too tired. Too drained by this.

Danger Heavy could handle. Battle, starvation, cold and hate. Death, he could not.

Spy headed in. He’d have a lot of lying to do.

 

It was a good thing Spy left when he did. It was less than ten minutes later that there came a knock at Sniper’s door.

Sniper hastily looked round for any signs that might give away the Spy had been there, while hurrying to pull some trousers on. He'd change properly after whoever it was had gone.

RED Spy waited patiently at the door for Sniper to answer. Engineer had told him that Sniper had said not to bother him, but he couldn't imagine the man really wanted to be alone after all that. He gave him plenty of time to sleep before coming by, though. Sniper was surely exhausted.

Dragging fingers through his hair to try and pull himself a little more into shape, Sniper hurried to open the door. He hadn't known who to expect but he should have guessed it would be RED Spy. He'd been part of the rescue, after all, and wasn't one to stay away when something interesting was going on.

'Umm, hi, Spy,' Sniper said, finding himself unsure of what to say or how to act. How much could he hide? How much  _ should _ he hide?

"Hello Sniper," Spy hadn't brought anything for breakfast, he'd been hoping Sniper would be willing to come in for a meal and that they could keep him from isolating himself. "I was hoping you'd come in for a late breakfast. Most of the team has already eaten." It should be less intimidating that way.

Sniper's first instinct was to say no. He opened his mouth and hesitated. If most of the team had already eaten.... 'Who am I most likely to bump into?'

Sniper felt like he was going to have to push himself to try and get back to normal and it was likely that the longer he resisted, the harder it would get.

He didn't want to the BLU Medic to have got the last laugh. He didn't want to be a monster. He didn't want to be broken.

"Everyone's a bit curious, but they don't know you're coming in. When I was there, Scout and Soldier had already left. I'm assuming Demo will be there," seeing as he'd been drinking late last night, he'd likely be late all day for everything. Medic and Heavy both already ate," he was sure that would be one of the bigger fears Sniper would have right now. "And if you need to leave, I'll get you out."

Sniper snorted. 'I'm not the president of the bloody United States. You don't have to get me out and bundle me into a bullet-proof car if someone starts shooting.'

Sniper appreciated it though, even if he wasn't able to bring himself to say it.

Scout probably wouldn't be there. Good. The kid wasn't all that bad if you got the chance to see past his ego, but he never knew when to leave something alone. Soldier was obnoxiously loud but he probably would have respected Sniper for being a 'prisoner of war' as long as he didn't think Sniper might have spilled any RED secrets.

With Demo, it all depended on how much he'd drank. When drunk, he said and asked whatever came to mind. Sober, as he hopefully was this morning, he would most likely be more thoughtful than that. Sniper thought he could probably trust Demo to mind his business.

Heavy would have been the same. Thank god Medic had already finished though.

"I'm glad, my bulletproof car is in the shop," Spy said dryly. "Are you ready to go?"

'Hasn't even got the the bulletproof car, bloody typical,' Sniper said with a disappointed shake of his head. He was smiling slightly now though.

'Just give me a couple of minutes to clean up a bit and put on a clean shirt,' he said. Sniper didn't like forcing his team's Spy to wait around for him but he wanted to appear as normal as possible to any of his teammates.

"Of course," Spy hid his own smile, glad that he could get a smile from his teammate. He waited outside patiently.

Sniper scrubbed a flannel over himself as quickly as possible, hoping that none of the BLU Spy's cologne or cigarette smell lingered on him.

He threw clean clothes on and tugged them into order before opening the door again.

'Ready,' Sniper said.

RED Spy walked back to the base with him. He considered asking Sniper to move his camper closer, so that he’d feel safer, but Sniper was an adult. He could decide for himself.

They got into the base and Spy kept a careful ear out for their teammates. It was fairly quiet now that breakfast was mostly over.

 

Sniper headed into the base warily. He realised he had his shoulders hunched and forced his spine straight, shoulders back.

Again, he marvelled at how incredible it felt to be moving free. It was daunting though, in a strange way. At least the base was a familiar location. That helped greatly.

 

Demo was, as predicted, still at breakfast. He perked up when he saw Sniper and waved him over, standing to grab him around the shoulder. “Sniper!” He grinned, “They said you were back, I’m glad you’re alright!”

Sniper flinched, a spike of panic shooting through him like on of his BLU counterpart's bullets.

Sniper tried his best to cover the reaction up with a half smile of his own, which was all he could manage right now.

'Yeah, me too,' he said.

“Come, sit!” Demo gestured, sitting back down to finish his own breakfast. He noticed the pale gauntness of Sniper’s unshaven face, but pretended he didn’t. He exchanged a glance with Spy. Spy shrugged, sitting across from Sniper to keep an eye on the door.

Sniper did as he was told. There was a plate with a few cold slices of buttered toast in the middle of the table and he grabbed himself a slice. Even cold, someone as simple as plain white bread with a little bit of butter spread across it still tasted amazing.

Eating it was a good excuse not to talk as well.

Sniper monitored himself carefully as he ate the toast. No sign of nausea. No sign he was about to throw it back up.

Demo chattered on amiably, clearly happy to see Sniper again. He seemed sure that their losing streak was over now that they had the full nine. He went on about everything Sniper had missed, the shit Scout had gotten into, how the matches had gone, how they'd all worried and looked for Sniper.

Spy watched them both quietly, putting in a word here or there when Demo seemed to require it. It was one of the things he really liked about Demo; the man didn't need another person to carry on a conversation. He'd just natter on until you told him to shut up or left. Not that Spy was averse to silence, but he felt like friendly voices were the best thing for Sniper right now and of all their teammates, Demo was perfect for that.

Sniper relaxed as Demo talked, glad he wasn't been pelted with questions. He'd always been the loner type but being able to just relax and listen to someone else talk was...nice. Especially after all the hours he'd spent alone in the dark.

'I'll be glad to get back out there again,' he said when talk turned to the next match. It wasn't the truth. Out? Yes. Out there? No.

Demo might have been hungover earlier but a little hair of the dog had brightened him back up and he was feeling tactful enough not to probe Sniper. He'd pester Spy for answers later, even though the poncy bastard never gave as many answers as he could have.

"You'll be back in respawn by tonight," Spy told him, "but if you want another few days off, I'm sure we can manage. Especially since the BLU team just lost their Medic."

"BLU's got no Medic?" Demo asked, grinning. "Just getting all kinds of good news today."

"I mentioned that yesterday," Spy said with vague annoyance.

Respawn. Sniper had forgotten. How could he have forgotten? He had images of the enemy Heavy cornering him and beating him to death for what had happened to his Medic. Tonight couldn't come soon enough.

Speaking of the Medic, Sniper couldn't help but wonder what Spy had told the rest of the team about it. Or what he knew about it. Or what the enemy team thought must have happened.

Spy saw the expression on Sniper's face when he mentioned respawn. He looked like a numb version of terrified.

The door opened, Medic's voice interrupting Spy before he could speak. "Sniper!" he rushed to sit next to him, looking him over. "Oh, you should have come to me sooner! You look awful."

Panic shot through Sniper. A panic now so ingrained and automatic that he didn't even realise he'd flinched away until he was on his feet. But only for a moment. As he shot up he knocked his chair over and in his attempt to flee, he tripped over it. Sniper fell to the floor and stayed there, one hand clutching at the edge of the table, eyes wide. He stared at the Medic, not daring to move, near panting with terror.

Medic froze over him for a moment, then took a step back. He looked to Spy for direction, and found the man kneeling next to Sniper.

"Come on, up," he said, taking Sniper's arm. "Medic, perhaps it would be best if you left for now." He didn't look at Medic as he said it, eyes on the panicked man on the floor. Spy was just glad his panic hadn't been violent. It could have gone much worse.

Sniper blinked rapidly, forcing himself to come back to reality. It was just RED Medic. Just RED Medic. Once the realisation sank in, he felt bitterly ashamed. What would his teammates think of him now, after that display?

He tried to think of something to say, a joke, an apology, an angry remark telling the Medic not to sneak up on him like that. Sniper opened his mouth but this throat tightened. There were no words in him.

"Come on, let's sit you down," Spy righted the chair and gently helped Sniper into it. Medic turned and left. Demo clucked sympathetically, getting up to make himself more tea, and maybe some for Sniper while he was at it.

"No one expects you to just get over it, Sniper." Spy's voice was soft, but confident. "You endured something terrible. You need time and most of the team can understand that." He wasn't sure if Soldier or Scout would, and who knew what Pyro thought of anything.

'Don't need sitting down, I'm not an old granny,' Sniper muttered, pale cheeks reddening.

He could barely stand to hear RED Spy speak with such sympathy. The words scalded him, seeping into his bones and leaving him feeling like some pitiful creature.

Pity.

That was it.

He couldn't stand it from his teammates. Didn't know how to deal with it. It went so against everything he'd been taught to be: quiet and stoic and masculine and independent.

'I'm fine,' Sniper argued, a slight shake to his voice that filled him with self-loathing.

"I know," Spy held back a sigh. He let the man settle back down, sitting across from him again. Sniper wasn't going to make this any easier on himself, of course. "But it's alright to be not fine."

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Demo is shaped like a friend

Sniper picked up another piece of toast and chewed on it slowly. It tasted like cold soggy bread and he felt like a petulant toddler. He should have just stayed in his van.

Sniper forced himself to swallow and cast about for a topic that wasn't himself.

'When do you think they're going to get a new Medic?'

 

Spy shrugged. Sniper wanted to pretend his outburst hadn't happened. Fine.

"A week or so, maybe more."

Demo came back with three mugs carefully balanced in his big hands, handing one to each teammate. "Doc should be used to people looking at him like that," he grunted as he sat back down. "D'you know what a prostate exam is? Cause I sure didn't!" he slapped his knee, laughing.

Sniper's face drained of colour again, a look of horror forming on it.

'So that's what he's been up to while I've been....away?' Sniper asked once he could compose himself. The image that sprung to mind had taken him a moment to recover from.

"I was just kidding," Demo assured him.

Sniper shook his head. 'That doesn't mean I'll ever forgive you for the mental image.'

Demo laughed, drinking his tea. Decaffeinated. Most of the team loved their coffee, Sniper included, but Demo loved tea and remembered Sniper talking about having shaky hands from too much caffeine. "How're your hands doing?" he wasn't sure what else to talk about with Sniper. He shared so little and though Demo could just chatter, he wanted to draw Sniper into a conversation.

'My hands?' Sniper asked nervously, turning them over on the table to look at them. He half-expected to see claws instead of nails.

"Y'know," Demo held out his hand flat. It held steady. "No shakes?"

Sniper tried to do the same. Humiliation flooded through him as he watched his hands shake like an old man with Parkinson's disease or a drug addict going through withdrawals.

He withdrew them slowly, bunching his hands into fists at his sides to try and keep them still. He was a Sniper. His entire livelihood relied on a keen eye, perfect timing and steady hands.

Demo gave him a pat on the shoulder. “They’ll steady. It’s only been a day. Wanna go to the range later?”

Spy was surprised at Demo’s suggestion. It was a good one, one Spy wouldn’t have thought of. Sniper tended to pour himself into his work, it stood to reason he’d feel better if he could be doing something productive, like practising.

'...Yes,' Sniper said hesitantly. Now Demoman mentioned it, that did seem like a good idea. He just couldn't decide if he'd want to have company or not. The idea of being alone for too long still felt unsettling, like the BLU Medic would come back from the dead and snatch him up again if no one was watching him. On the other hand, Sniper knew he was going to perform much more poorly than normal and he didn't like the idea of anyone being there to see his frustration.

Still, the sooner Sniper threw himself back into his work, the sooner he'd get over this whole stupid thing. Hopefully.

"It'll be good," Demo said, sagely, finishing his tea. "Meet you out there." He stood, stretched up to the ceiling and headed out.

Spy chuckled as he left. He was feeling very satisfied overall with how this had gone. Excluding the Medic incident. Demo had been just the right person for this.

'Oh,' Sniper said. He hadn't expected 'later' to end up as 'now.' 

Sniper looked down at the cup of coffee Demo had placed in front of him. The craving for caffeine slammed into him. His thirst for something else entirely had driven his coffee addiction out of his mind for most of his time in captivity. Now the thought of just being able to drink a cup of coffee in peace left him feeling giddy.

'I'll be there in five,' Sniper promised Demo.

 

Spy piped up once Sniper was half way through his coffee. "If you don't mind, I'll leave you and Demo to it. But I'm here if you need me." He tried to make it sound light and careless, not as though he'd been worried sick over Sniper.

Sniper sighed deeply. It was a happy sigh though. 'No problems, mate. I'll be fine.'

The RED Spy really wasn't a bad bloke. Somehow Sniper had never really noticed before. Pity it had taken all this for him to finally realise. Or maybe the RED Spy was just being nicer than normal.

 

As soon as he finished the coffee, Sniper poured himself another cup and headed out of the base. His neck prickled as he walked, taking the longest strides he could without spilling his drink. The fewer teammates he had to explain himself to, the better.

Sniper hurried back to his van, took a moment to decide, and then snatched up his bow and arrow sheath.

Juggling everything and trying to sip coffee as he walked, Sniper headed off for the shooting range.

Demo was already out there, but he didn’t have a gun out yet. He was playing with a forgotten fire axe, hurling it at the targets and retrieving it. It sank into the target a fair amount, but when it didn’t it would bounce off the side and embed itself in the grass.

He turned and grinned when he saw Sniper, giving him a wave.

'Nice choice!' Sniper called. The fire axe probably belonged to Pyro but they had so many he doubted they'd mind Demo using one.

'I'm just going with my bow,' Sniper said, holding it up.

Demo hefted the axe. It was surprisingly heavy and he hadn’t thrown an axe since he was in his teens. “I’m outta practice, just feels good to do something,” he admitted.

Sniper nodded, relieved. So he wouldn't be the only person potentially making a fool of himself. That was reassuring.

Sniper dragged a spare target into place and walked backwards, counting his steps under his breath. When he was satisfied with the distance, he carefully strung his bow and checked over the fletching on his arrows. All good. All fine. Any mistakes would be due to him, not his weapon.

Demo lifted the axe over his head and threw again, hitting the edge of the target and snapping off a large splinter. He wasn't focused on Sniper. He figured the man needed someone about but not too much attention.

Sniper watched Demo and chuckled under his breath. Not Demo's best work.

Sniper felt himself relax. He could do badly here. There was no shame in it. All part of the recovery process.

He took up his shooting stance, pulling the string back experimentally without nocking an arrow. A little bit stiff but the underlying muscle memory was still there.

Taking a deep breath, Sniper nocked his first arrow and took aim. The point wavered slightly. The two cups of coffee probably hadn't helped.

Sniper let go. The arrow flew through the air a hair's breadth away from the target and landed in the grass beyond. Sniper sighed. Not a surprise. Still a bit of a disappointment though.

Demo collected his axe with a shrug. It wasn't exactly a necessary skill set anyway. But it was fun and kind of relaxing. He took a few more throws before he landed a good shot.

 

As to be expected, Sniper did much more poorly than usual. That wasn't to say he didn't do well, simply that he wasn't anywhere near his usual standards. Once he stopped beating himself up for that though, let himself get lost in the rhythm, the rest of Sniper's troubled melted away for a time. He even forgot about Demoman, his entire world narrowing down to just him, his bow and arrows, and the target. No wonder spies had always been such a problem for him, with tunnel vision like that.

After about an hour, Sniper's muscles were trembling and aching too much to continue. He felt happy though, despite his below average performance. Or maybe happy wasn't the word. It was more like soothed, a little more of his world having fallen back into place as it should have been. One small step towards recovery.

Demo had stopped some time ago, his arm sore from throwing the axe overhand so many times. He smiled when Sniper stopped. "Looking better," he said off-hand.

'Thanks,' Sniper said, the word coming out a little tightly because he wasn't sure he'd earned the praise. 'My arm's dead now,' he said with a small laugh to try and move things on.

"My shoulder's getting stiff," Demo admitted. He'd feel it more tomorrow, he was sure. He wanted to tell Sniper he was here for him, if he needed anything, but the words wouldn't come out right. "We can do it again, sometime."

'You sure you're up to it?' Sniper joked. 'If you're feeling all stiff after just a tiny bit of axe-throwing, it might be time for an old man like you to retire.'

They'd always made jokes like that about each other, despite being around the same age. Or at least, that's what Demo thought, not knowing about Sniper's slower ageing since he'd been turned.

"Pff! Watch your mouth, whippersnapper," he flicked a large splinter at Sniper with a grin. "Only my shoulder is old, the rest of me's just dandy."

'Well I don't know about your old shoulder, but all of me's crying out for another cup of coffee,' Sniper said. Then he paused, worry curling up his spine. 'Do you think any of the others will be in the kitchen right now?' As the outsider of the team, he knew the least about everyone's eating routines.

Demo shrugged. "Scout might be starving by now, he's in there the most." The runner needed to eat a lot to keep up his body weight.

'Hmm,'late breakfast or early lunch?' Sniper asked, scratching his chin. It made an irritatingly loud scritching sound. Damn, he really did need to shave. Sniper looked down at his hands. Still too bloody shaky. Bugger.

"For Scout? Morning snack," Demo laughed, heading in.

 

Luckily, it appeared Scout was probably still asleep. Sniper and Demoman sat down at the table with a couple of coffees (though Sniper thought he spotted Demo sneak something a little stronger into his own decaffeinated drink) and talked. Not about anything important; just about anything that came to mind. A recent conversation over the phone Demo had had with his belligerent old mother, the dodgy speedometer on Sniper's van, and the time Scout got stuck down a well.

It was nice just being able to sit and talk with someone again like a real human being. All the same, Sniper couldn't stop himself from glancing at the door every minute or so, waiting for a new team member to come in.

When the coffee was gone, Sniper decided his nerves had had enough and he should be gone to. He said goodbye to Demo, promising to go out to the shooting range with him again some time, and retired to the safety of his van.

 

Sniper lasted two minutes before he had to turn the radio on to fill the silence.

 

Not long after he’d taken his leave of Demo, there was a knock on his door. Medic had spoken to Spy again and they’d both thought it might be easier for Sniper to deal with seeing him if he were wearing his civilian clothes. Medic hadn’t said much when Sniper was missing, but he’d been concerned for his teammate, and with what Spy had told him, now he was even more worried.

He was also, admittedly, curious. Why had BLU Medic kidnapped him? What had he done to him and why? What was the man’s reason for doing so? There had to be reasons, didn’t there?

But remembering Sniper’s reaction to him that morning, he knew he’d better not ask. It would be better if he just healed him and tried to make it a positive experience. They needed to work together, after all.

 

Sniper opened the door and froze. He'd been expecting Engie or maybe Demo again or the nosy Scout or either Spy. Instead it was Medic. Medic.

Sniper stared at him blankly for a moment. Medic. RED Medic.

Not the BLU.

Out of uniform, they looked nothing alike, he pointed out to himself.

BLU Medic was dead.

RED Medic was his teammate.

He wouldn't harm him.

Well, as long as he didn't know the truth.

Medic lifted his medigun with a tentative smile. “Would you prefer to step out, or may I come in?” he asked. Sniper had frozen in fear for a moment, but he hadn’t slammed the door in his face so that was good.

Sniper didn't want to be in a confined space with Medic. Just the thought made him panicky. It wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't still have faint worries of going feral again clinging to the back of his mind. There were too many unknowns here. Too many dangers.

But he couldn't act suspicious; that was dangerous too.

Sniper stepped back into his van and gestured for Medic to enter.

Medic’s smile brightened and he stepped in. “I know that after an event like that, you will likely feel a lot of paranoia and panic, but I can assure you I only want to help. If anything makes you uncomfortable, I would like you to tell me immediately. And if you need me to leave, I will,” he assured. 

'I'm not paranoid,' Sniper muttered. 'I'm not scared.' Neither of those felt like entirely truthful statements though, to his shame.

Medic merely nodded. He had worked with patients who suffered from Combat Stress Reaction and he knew giving them a way out could prevent a lot of pain and suffering on both ends. It was entirely possible that Sniper would lash out if he felt he was going to be hurt, and though they had respawn, Medic knew that would only make this more difficult for both of them.

“Now, may I see your injuries?”

'Engie's dispenser helped with the worst of it,' Sniper said. That and the blood he’d drank.

'Got a couple of marks on my face that aren't right yet but they don't bother me,' he said, pointing to the patches were the muzzle had rubbed despite his scruff.

Then Sniper tugged his jacket off and pulled down his shirt collar a little to expose the bruises around his neck. 'This still feels a little sore,' he admitted. Hesitantly, Sniper unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way to expose the raw-edged wounds on his chest. For these he gave no commentary.

The wounds down Sniper’s chest were horrific. Medic frowned as he looked them over. He knew Sniper was lying about how little pain he was in, but most men would lie about that. No one wanted to look weak. "It looks like the dispenser got the worst of it, but let's see what the medigun can do for you." He flicked on the gun and let the RED light stream over Sniper.

Sniper watched Medic's expression intensely as he looked over the chest wounds. He saw the frown, and the slight biting of his lips that always came with Medic's disapproval or concern. At least he hadn't recoiled in horror. Medic had seen enough shit that this probably seemed like nothing at all to him.

The tension in Sniper's shoulders slowly leached away as the medigun did its work. He sighed in relief, feeling the ache around his throat and across his chest start to fade.

"I know you may not know what his plans were, but if you can think of anything he did to you, internally, it would help me know what I can do to help you."

Incision scars like that were usually only seen on corpses. Sniper was lucky to be alive, whatever that madman had done to him.

Sniper closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew exactly what the BLU's plans had been, and exactly what he'd done. There was no way Sniper could say anything like, 'he studied my venom sacs and removed any organs that didn't look human to him to have a better look at,' though. Sniper tried his best to be as honest as he could, all the same.

'He cut me up without anaesthetic. Dug...through me. Took out organs sometimes and used his medigun to heal me.' Then he added bitterly, 'on the lowest setting.'

Sniper took another deep breath, fists clenched at his side. Anger and horror flooded through him as he continued, 'he wanted to see how much I could survive. Wanted to see how much he could hurt me. Wanted to find my breaking point.'

All true. Just not the full truth.

Medic nodded, clearing his throat. Though he felt the urge to comfort Sniper, he wasn’t sure it would be appreciated coming from him, and they had never exactly been close. Instead he stuck to what he knew.

“The scars on your chest may not fade for some time, I’m afraid,” he carefully palpated the irregular skin, giving Sniper plenty of warning before touching him. The infection had cleared, at least, but their was still a vicious looking mark. “…but the scarring around your neck looks better already. It ought to fade away completely once your health returns. And the same with the marks on your face.” _ Those must have been caused by some sort of gag, _ Medic thought to himself. “You’ve lost a lot of weight,” he commented. “Once you get that back, your body will be better equipped to heal again."

Sniper held still while Medic touched him, despite how it made his jaw ache as his fangs threatened to burst through in self defence.

Somehow, he wasn't surprised about the chest scars. It was going to take a little while for that to sink in though. The old scar on his face was bad enough, but if the ones on his chest were going to stick around for a long time too... He'd have to keep them covered. Not doing so would attract to much attention. Too many questions. Too much pity.

'I'm sure I can put the weight back on no prob, doc,' Sniper said with an attempt at a smile. 'We just need to get Engie to cook every night and I'll be back up to how I should be in no time. The rest of you guys might struggle to fit into your pants though.'

Medic chuckled. Well, at least Sniper still had his sense of humour.

“Physically, you are doing alright. I think the best thing for you is to get back to your usual routine as quickly as possible. It might do you good to spend a bit more time with the team than you did before, though. It’s important that you do the things you would before. Normal activities might be a struggle for awhile, but push through it and it will help you recover. If you find yourself thinking morbid thoughts or unable to stop thinking about what happened, I suggest you seek out a teammate, or do something you enjoy. Those thoughts are normal, but that doesn’t mean they’re helpful to you.” Medic said plainly. "Getting back to battle may be difficult but if you don't go back now, it will only be harder for you later. Try to get a good amount of sleep, eat well, exercise regularly. Other than that, I think you're not in bad shape considering."

Sniper nodded tightly at each point, resisting the urge to argue because he knew Medic was right. Some of the advice seemed obvious. Other bits of it made him feel pathetic. But they were all right.

Medic smiled again, Sniper seemed to be taking all of this very well. He was pleasantly surprised.

“I will be in my uniform tomorrow for battle, but I’ll change into other clothes once it’s over.” The Medic uniform had clearly triggered a response earlier, and though Medic was fascinated by it and wanted to see what could be done about it, for now they wanted Sniper getting back to battle and keeping their score up. Once he was a little better, they could work through the issue with the uniform. “I’ll come by again soon, or you can come to the infirmary if you’re feeling up to it.” Surely he’d be avoiding that part of the base, too. Unless he’d been kept somewhere else? There were so many unanswered questions but Medic managed to swallow them all down. Later.

'I'll be fine,' Sniper said through gritted teeth. Freaking out at the sight of Medic in his uniform had just been... a one off thing. Surely?

'You might as well come around here,' he added. As Medic suspected, Sniper wanted to avoid the infirmary though. The two bases were too eerily similar to one another. Sniper wondered what the RED equivalent of his cell was used for. Storage maybe? He'd seen the door but never asked. It had never seemed important.

“Good. Let me know if you feel any aches or pains throughout the week.” Medic stood, gathering his things. This had gone much better than he’d expected. Sniper clearly wasn’t happy about it, but he was willing to sit through it and listen to Medic’s advice. There had been a chance that he’d attack him or try to run, but mostly Medic had thought Sniper just wouldn’t let him in. “Take care, Sniper.”

'Will do. See'ya. Doc.'

As soon as Medic left, Sniper sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. He took several deep, slow breaths. His hands were shaking worse than ever.

What a mess. What a fucking useless mess.

He turned the radio up higher, drowning his thoughts in the daily news and didn't move for quite some time after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the last and may possibly be late as I'll be away all next week, but we'll see how things go!


	16. Chapter 16

The next knock on Sniper’s van door came just after dark.

Sniper pulled himself up and walked to the door, hoping this was the BLU Spy.

Sniper had done very little with the rest of the day. Despite the radio, he'd found his thoughts slipping back to unwelcome places time and time again. He would realise he'd been staring into space for five or ten minutes and then leap to his feet just to remind himself he could still get up and move whenever he felt like it. And he could go wherever he felt like. He just didn't feel like going anywhere.

Spy was waiting at the door for him. Sniper looked a little better today, the mark around his neck less red. He smiled, stepping in out of the cooling night air.

Spy.

An intense rush of adoration swept through Sniper. He was here. He'd come back. Despite...despite what he'd seen, he'd come back.

The strength of the emotion embarrassed Sniper. Wrong-footed him. He found himself shifting from foot to foot like a nervous school boy about to ask out his first crush.

'Uh, evenin',' he said. 'You wanna come in?'

"Yes.” Spy stepped in close and wrapped an arm around Sniper in a tight squeeze. "How was your day?"

He was sure it had been strange, being back with his teammates, trying to return to normal.

Sniper didn't reply for a moment. He pulled Spy into a proper hug, both arms around him. The heat from his body radiated through his suit comfortingly. Sniper drew in his familiar scent and sighed, tension leaving his shoulders.

'It was alright,' he said. 'Didn't have to talk to too many of my teammates. Probably doesn't feel like it to you when he's blowing you up with sticky bombs, but our Demo's a good bloke. Spent the most time with him just practising shooting at the range.'

He reluctantly pulled away from Spy so he could lock the door behind them. 'Medic was in here earlier. I kind of panicked a bit when I first saw him but I made it through his visit.'

"I'm glad," Spy felt himself relax a little in Sniper's arms. "You look a bit better, I thought maybe you'd seen your doctor. Are you still hurting at all?" He couldn't help himself, he pressed a soft kiss to the new scar marring Sniper's facial hair.

A slight smile tugged at the corner of Sniper's mouth at the gesture.

'Chest feels a little sore,' he admitted, 'but the medigun helped. Honestly? I just feel, well, hungry again.' It wasn't surprising, his body had a lot of weight and health to recover. He felt bad bringing it up again so soon though.

"Alright," Spy nodded, giving him permission. He sat on the edge of Sniper's bed and started to undress. He found he'd missed Sniper throughout the day, thought about him, worried about him. It was nice to be here with him. Spy was finding the little camper to be more comfortable every time he stayed.

'I mean, we don't have to straight away. I mean...' Sniper searched for the right words. 'It's not like, “Oh good, Spy's here, dinner time!” That's not why... That's not...' he trailed away. Sniper might not have grown up to be the strapping man Australia demanded of him, but at times he could be just as emotionally stunted as an Australian man was expected to be.

Spy just laughed. “I think I know you better than that, tireur. But our relationship started with blood and I have no problem with it continuing that way.” Spy had thought long and hard about feeding Sniper, about how difficult it would be now without venom, and he’d come to the conclusion that he still wanted to. That the venom wasn’t the only thing he’d been getting out of it.

He’d also come to the conclusion that this relationship was getting the better of him and eventually they’d go down in flames, but he didn’t want it to end yet. He didn’t want to say goodbye and it made him feel stupid and weak.

_ Our relationship started with blood, _ That thought had never occurred to Sniper. It was equal parts grim and poetic and somehow suited the BLU Spy perfectly.

Still, it dredged up old memories. A flicker of anger and regret licked at Sniper's chest as he remembered the cruel traps and the hunger and how both had finally come together when the Spy had sneaked into his van and discovered the cost of trying to kill him.

Sniper didn't like thinking back on that first bite. It didn't reflect well on either of them.

'I think we've come a long way since then though,' Sniper said, not disagreeing with Spy, merely voicing out loud the thought.

“Of course,” Spy agreed. “But you’ll always need it.” Something unhappy crossed Sniper’s face, and Spy regretted bringing it up that way. “I just meant, I don’t mind.”

Sniper gave a rueful shrug. 'Yeah, you're right.' He always would. Part of the whole vampire curse thingamajig. No point getting all angsty and mopey about it, it was simply his nature.

'Sure you don't want me to use any venom?' he checked. The venom was important, Sniper just wasn’t sure how to approach the subject of  _ why. _

Spy made a face. He knew it would hurt, and he missed the effect of the venom, but he didn’t want to go through that withdrawal ever again. “No, thank you. Your team is still very wary and I don’t want to be too out of it.”

Sniper accepted the explanation, though he had to wrestle with himself to stop from disagreeing. This was not the time for an argument.

Sniper sat down on the bed next to Spy. One hand went to Spy's back as he leant in, intending to steady himself. Sniper changed his mind, wrapping his arms around Spy as his fangs brushed against Spy's neck.

Spy tilted his head again to give Sniper better access. Goosebumps raised up the back of his neck as Sniper’s fangs just barely touched his skin and both his arms wrapped around him. He found that even this, without the venom, had his body reacting. He wove his fingers into Sniper’s hair, gently, steadying them.

Sniper swallowed back venom, grimacing slightly. It didn't taste bad, just felt weirdly tingly to swallow, like strong mints or alcohol.

He closed his eyes a moment, enjoying the contact. Then he nipped Spy as quickly and efficiently as he could. It was just a shallow bite, little more than a surface wound. He wasn't going to take much if he couldn't use venom and he'd had blood recently, even if his body needed more now.

The needle-like pinch resolved into a shooting pain through Spy’s neck and he bit his lip to keep quiet. Staying still was best. Sniper would finish as quickly as possible.

He felt… bad about lying to him. Normally he didn’t care much about lying to people. Even people he cared about, though those were few and far between. Why was this different? Why was Sniper different?

Maybe the venom had something to do with it, he told himself. Forcing more of an attachment than there really was. Maybe things would change between them if they kept this up, removing venom from the equation.

Sniper forced himself to hold back his venom, removing his fangs carefully and pressing his lips to the wound. If they weren't using venom, he could just as easily cut Spy with a knife to get him bleeding, but he never would. That would seen too violent, no matter how small the cut or how carefully he wielded the knife. Too violent. Too much like their old fights out on the field.

Fangs were more intimate, anyway.

 

Sniper forced himself to pull away after just a couple of minutes, swiping his tongue across the wound before wiping blood off on the back of his hand.

It had been tempting, oh so tempting, just to keep going. It always was.

Spy held stiff and still and quiet, letting Sniper finish. Once he was done, he wrapped his arms back around him in a tight hug. He knew this was a bad time to make this more difficult for them.

'Sorry,' Sniper muttered, feeling guilty again. Spy tried his best to be stoic but Sniper still knew he hurt him.

'I'm glad you came back,' he admitted, which was the closest Sniper could get to expressing a tangled web of emotions he had no idea how to untangle.

"Of course," Spy said, as though there was no question of his return. "Now," he changed the subject, not wanting them to become too emotional, and not wanting to give away how much his neck hurt. "I notice you still haven't shaved. Would you like me to do it?"

Sniper scratched at his stubble, wondering if the Spy was asking because it had felt itchy against his skin.

'Hands are too shaky,' he admitted reluctantly. 'Haven't been able to do it myself. Still can't.' He paused, thinking Spy's offer over. 'Not sure how much I trust you near me with a knife,' he joked. 'But I'd love to get rid of this stuff.' More than a couple of days' worth of stubble always left him feeling hot and itchy.

“We’re off the clock, I promise to be careful,” Spy said with a smile. “Get your kit out, I’ll take care of the rest.”

The stubble had felt a little scratchy against his skin. He wasn’t used to Sniper having very much. This was a bit more than he liked. Still, he’d mostly offered because it seemed to bother Sniper last time they were together.

Sniper pulled his battered old shaving kit out of a drawer and presented it to Spy. 'This do?' he asked, waiting for Spy to pull a face at it. He'd find the razor sharp though, and plenty of shaving foam.

Spy pulled off one of his gloves and tested the edge of the razor. Sharp. He nodded, sitting Sniper down. He ran a cloth under water and squeezed it out, handing it to Sniper to wet his face. While Sniper did that, Spy worked the shaving cream into a lather.

Once he was satisfied that Sniper’s stubble was thoroughly wet, he took the cloth back and started to brush on the lather in slow circles. He’d done this for other men before, though sometimes only as an easy way to slit a throat, so this was hardly new to him. He’d always enjoyed getting it done himself, he found it relaxing. Hopefully Sniper would too.

When he was ready, he took the razor and started carefully near the other man’s sideburns, taking pains to keep them how Sniper usually kept them.

Sniper watched his every movement closely. Less because he didn't trust the Spy, which, perhaps foolishly, he did. It was more that he wasn't used to having someone else do something like this for him and it felt...weird.

He tensed slightly as Spy began, biting back a comment about watching the sideburns. Spy would know that. No need to make a fuss.

Sniper’s eyes were on everything he did, but Spy could see in his shoulders that he was relaxed, not afraid, not nervous. Just watching.

He kept his strokes slow and even, being very careful not to nick Sniper. They were quiet as he worked, comfortable together, the only sound the ring and scratch of the razor. This was part of what made up Sniper’s smell, this shaving cream. It smelled good, and he hated to admit it, but it smelled safe and made him want to curl up with Sniper and kiss him.

As soon as he was done, he cleaned the razor, then passed Sniper the cloth again to wipe his face.

As Spy had hoped, once Sniper got used to it, he found the whole process rather relaxing.

He wiped away the remaining shaving foam and patted his hands against his face, smiling. 'That feels better,' he said. More like normal. Less like a scruffy animal. More human.

'If the spy business is ever a bit slow you could always get yourself a position at a barber's,' Sniper added.

“I have done it before. It’s a good way to get information,” Spy admitted. Perhaps telling Sniper that he’d cut a few throats that way wasn’t the best idea. There  _ were _ other reasons he’d worked as a barber, after all. Not all Spy work was wet work. “People like to talk to their barbers.”

'Yeah, because he's got a razor at their throat,' Sniper said. Despite Spy's efforts, Sniper's first thoughts had gone to murder and torture. Something about being a mercenary probably did that to you. 'Glad you brought that up  _ after _ .'

Spy laughed. “That’s not how I meant it, but yes, that can be a powerful persuader.” He ran his bare fingers over Sniper’s jaw and nodded. “That’s much better.” He couldn’t help pressing a kiss there, enjoying the smooth feel of Sniper’s skin.

Sniper tilted his head towards Spy, turning it into a proper kiss.

Spy closed his eyes, relaxing into the kiss. He deepened it slowly, putting a hand on the back of Sniper's neck.

Sniper made happy little humming noises against Spy's lips, too lost in the kiss to even notice he was making them. Spy's tongue brushed against him, making him shiver.

God, he loved this man.

He –

Loved.

Oh, damn, he really did, didn't he?

Loved the man who'd seen him reduced down to nothing but an animal. The man who held his jaw in his hands so gently, even though he knew about the fangs. The man who'd seen what he really was, what he really could be, and had come back for him anyway.

The man who'd seen he was a monster and still held him.

Despite-

Despite.

Shame washed over Sniper. Despite the dirty, naked creature he'd been. Despite what the Medic had done.

What the Medic had done...

Sniper felt dizzy. Adrift. He clutched onto Spy like a lifeline, deepening the kiss. He wanted to draw in Spy. To drown in him and forget all the horror.

The pain.

The humiliation.

Sniper's eyes stung.

No. No. He wasn't wasn't going to. He wasn't.

Tears welled up behind his tightly closed eyes.

He blinked, once, and they escaped down his cheeks.

 

Spy gave a happy little sigh as Sniper pulled him in tighter, happy to be drawn in. It took him some time to notice that Sniper was trembling a little, and then he felt a bit of wetness against his cheek. He pulled away to find Sniper’s eyes wet and he immediately wrapped his arms tighter around him.

“It’s alright,” he said, voice soft, sure that Sniper was just struggling with his return to normalcy. He had no idea of the thoughts and feelings running through his partner.

Sniper shook his head, turning away from Spy but staying where he was.

God, he didn't need this, Spy being so understanding. He needed Spy to slap him upside his head like his father used to and tell him to get over it. To man up. He was making such a fool of himself here. Such a fool.

Spy pushed him down onto the bed and lay down next to him, pulling Sniper into his arms, letting him rest his cheek against his chest. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say, to make this better?

Telling him he was home, and he was safe… Sniper knew those things. He didn’t want to baby him. Sniper was a grown man, and a proud one. He was clearly unhappy crying in front of someone else.

Spy opted for a distraction instead.

He started to talk, about anything and everything, more than he’d ever said to Sniper at once before. He talked about his team at first, about his silent friendship with his own Sniper, his dislike of his Soldier, of Demo’s constant smell of chemicals, of Scout’s horrible accident several weeks ago where he’d broken his leg and screamed for Medic while everyone else was in the kitchen, obviously eating breakfast. He talked about the RED team too, about the unbeatable Engineer, the unsettling Pyro, the unstoppable Heavy.

With no sign from Sniper that he was ready to act as though he hadn’t cried - which Spy assumed was what he wanted to do- Spy began to talk about France. He spoke of how he missed it, and his neighbourhood growing up. He talked about the bakery he grew up in, about waking up early to warm up the ovens, and how long it took to make bread. He played idly with Sniper’s hair and admitted he didn’t even know if the building was still there, or if it was still a bakery. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

He went on to say how it was hard to get the things he liked here, his favourite cigarettes, or good wine, or fresh food of any kind. He was always happy to have oranges when he came to see Sniper. So much food in America was canned. What did Americans have against the idea of proper food?

He rambled on next about Australia, and how he’d been there a few times for work, but only in the big cities. The heat had nearly killed him, it was almost as bad here. Still, he preferred it over here. At least he hadn’t had to wear a balaclava in Australia.

Feeling odd talking so much, he peeked down at Sniper to see if he’d composed himself.

Sniper listened almost silently, the only sounds from him the odd, stifled sob. It was embarrassing. Intensely embarrassing, but he couldn't help it. No matter how much he willed himself to stop, he couldn't. His sleeves were soon sodden with the tears he'd dashed away.

Spy helped. Sniper wasn't sure how he managed it, but he helped. Sniper could lose himself in Spy's stories for a minute or two at a time before another sob shook him.

He'd never cried like this, not since he'd been a child and screamed and begged his father not to put his dog down. Now, he knew there'd been no other option, the snake bite had been killing the dog anyway. It was a clean shot to the head or an agonising, slow death by poison. Still, the thought of that one gunshot ringing out still haunted Sniper. A part of him had never forgiven his father for it.

Maybe he should tell Spy about that one day, in exchange for all the little pieces of himself he was offering up to Sniper now. All those memories Sniper had never asked him to share because he's presumed Spy would never be able to.

Eventually, the tears stopped, leaving Sniper drained and tired. He felt better though, in a way. Like his time in captivity had been its own kind of poison and crying had bled the wound, flushed the toxins away.

'Sorry,' Sniper said thickly, still not able to bring himself to look directly at Spy.

"You're still healing," Spy said, "It's alright to let it out." He'd already cried in front of Sniper, it was terrible and awkward but they'd lived through it. "Feel better?"

'Sort of,' Sniper admitted. 'Also kind of feel like shit though. Tired.' He had no idea crying could be so bloody exhausting.

“It’s getting late anyway. Why don’t we sleep?” Spy wasn’t sure he could sleep after all that. He could barely believe he’d shared so much with anyone, let alone someone who worked as his enemy. It did seem to have helped though. Sniper was calmer now, though he sounded just as exhausted as he’d said. “Want a cloth, to wash your face?”

'Sleep sounds like a good idea,' Sniper agreed. He also liked the idea of washing his face. 'Probably best it's cold though,' he said. His eyes were bound to look puffy and red after he'd cried his eyes out like a little girl; a cold flannel might help with that.

Spy grabbed him a cloth and ran it under cold water. He squeezed it out and passed it over, getting back into bed.

Sniper held it against his eyelids. It felt too cold, which probably meant it was doing its job. When he'd had enough, he wiped it across his face to rid himself of any tear tracks that might remain.

'Thanks,' he said. 'Sorry about all that.' He couldn't help but apologise, as understanding as Spy had been.

Spy shrugged. “It’s only fair, now we’ve both seen the other cry.” He drew Sniper in against himself and stroked his hair, kissing his brow.

Sniper snorted. 'Since when have I seen you –' the memory of the first time he bit Spy floated to the front of his mind.

'Oh,' he said quietly, reliving those memories. He'd even considered using Spy's own garrotte on him after biting him out of revenge. They really had come a long way since then.

"Just sleep," that was perhaps a bad thing to bring up. Spy worked his fingers through Sniper's hair, gentling him, stroking fingertips over his brow and cheekbones. "I've got you."

Sniper nodded, blinking tired eyes. He wanted to tell Spy he was being sappy or in some other way grouch and complain about the attention to make himself feel more masculine, but he couldn't be bothered.

'As long as I get to be big spoon,' he muttered with a crooked little smile.

"Whatever you like, tireur," Spy couldn't help but smile. Even after all this, Sniper had to fight him to feel more in control. As long as it made him feel better, Spy would give it to him. He'd roll over backwards as long as Sniper was still struggling.

 

They got ready for bed and settled in together, Spy keeping to his promise. Sniper curled around him, enjoying the contact and marvelling at how wonderful it felt to be warm again. Especially when it was your partner's body pressed up against yours that was warming you up.

Sniper thought he would fall asleep in no time at all but the minutes passed by with him staring at the curve of Spy's neck, the outline visible in the dark, without sleep creeping any closer.

Spy felt much the same, silent in the dark with Sniper holding him tight. He kept his eyes closed but couldn't seem to fall asleep. Was he doing the right thing, being here? Staying with Sniper? Should he just let them both enjoy the envenomed bites again? It was hard to convince himself that staying wasn't the right thing. Even if he didn't want to get more tangled and heartsick over Sniper, Sniper needed him right now and he couldn't deny him comfort.

'Spy?' Sniper said eventually. He could tell by the BLU's breathing and heart rate that he wasn't asleep yet.

"Mhm?" he answered. Something about the dark made him want to whisper.

Sniper hesitated. Questions and doubts had been buzzing around his head ever since he'd been rescued, but he wasn't sure how to ask any of them.

'I – how – how can you stand it?' His throat clicked as he swallowed. 'How can you stand being this close to me?'

Spy rolled in Sniper’s arms, facing him. “I know you. I trust you,” he assured him. There was no way he could extricate himself now without giving Sniper more evidence that he was a monster. There was nothing to do but hang on at this point. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for hurting Sniper now.

'Even though you – I mean... you saw me feral. You saw me as a... as a monster. And you saw me as... a pathetic creature.' Sniper couldn't stand to look at Spy's face, not even in the dark. He turned his head away. 'You saw me naked and starving and dirty, dying on the floor.' He mustn't have looked very human then either. No one would.

“You…” Spy sighed. “Seeing you being tortured wouldn’t make me think less of you. It made me think far less of the Medic and Heavy. I just wish I could’ve helped you sooner, but… I couldn’t.” If he was a different sort of man, maybe he could have just confronted Medic, done it immediately, but if things had gone sour he didn’t have the strength to overpower him or the Heavy, nor did he have any real allies here. He’d opted to sneak in instead and it had cost Sniper days of torture.

“And when you were feral, you came back. You’re not the same as you were then. You know that, don’t you?”

Sniper nodded. In case Spy couldn't see, Sniper added, 'Yeah.' Silence fell for a few more moments. Then Sniper said, 'I don't know why I came back. Or how. Maybe it's not common enough for anyone to say for sure, but I've never heard of a feral turning back to normal.'

Sniper feared a relapse. He'd always been scared of going feral before, but now it was even worse. Just with some added confusion thrown in.

'I don't know if it's because the Medic artificially induced it or what happened there at all. I just don't want it to happen again.'

“If you were strong enough to come back once, you can do it again.” Spy carefully reached out to stroke his gloved hand over Sniper’s face. “But I don’t think it’ll happen again. You went through so much, James, and you’re still yourself.”

Sniper flinched at the sound of his name. Not because he didn't want Spy to use it, but because of how odd it felt to hear his real name again. Plus, he'd almost forgotten he'd told Spy.

'Thanks,' Sniper said, deciding against adding on Spy's real name. He'd probably just say it wrong and mess everything up.

“You got through it. It’ll take time to heal but you’ll get there,” Spy promised.

 

'Yeah, 'course I will,' Sniper grumped. He'd said too much, left his fears and emotions exposed like raw nerves. He wasn't used to this. On some level, it frightened him. Not that he'd ever admit it.

Spy leaned in for a kiss, not sure what else to say.

Spy's lips bumped against the corner of Sniper's mouth in the dark. Sniper shifted his head, Spy's stubble rasping against his lips.

The kiss started off slow. Then the confusing bubble of emotions Sniper had been wrestling with seemed to burst and he crushed his lips against Spy's almost violently, wrapping arms around him tightly and holding him close.

Spy was nearly breathless when he finally broke away. He ran his fingers though Snipers hair, comfortingly, kissing him again and again.

An errant kiss landed on Sniper's nose as he moved and he couldn't help but laugh. He loosened his grip on Spy, not letting go, but letting himself relax. Sniper felt tired again, but relieved. He'd been worrying over nothing, it seemed. He laughed again quietly to himself. What a fool he'd made of himself this evening. It was a miracle that hadn't been the thing to scare Spy away.

The nearly bruising grip Sniper had slowly eased and Spy felt a rush of relief. Being held that tightly was somewhere between wonderful affection and being too possessive. Spy liked to know he could escape, even if he had no plans to. It made him feel safer.

He nosed in along Sniper's neck, breathing him in, eyes closed. If only they could stay like this.

Sniper closed his eyes, and this time, it wasn't long before sleep claimed him.

 

Spy took some time to fall asleep, plagued by worries, but finally succumbed to the comfort of his lover's arms.

 

The next day, the new BLU Medic arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will continue in the next installment, but its start date is yet to be decided.  
> I'm very busy for the rest of the month so it might possibly start yearly next month. We shall see!


End file.
